“Let’s play tummy sticks.”

Kyle’s rating: Will probably turn out to be the most important film of 2005

Kyle’s review: In a very strange way, I was more concerned about Wedding Crashers than I was about Batman Begins. Which says a lot about evolving priorities, perhaps, or maybe implies that while the collection of talent before and behind the camera with Batman Begins practically guaranteed greatness, the comedic powers of Wedding Crashers don’t immediately inspire confidence. Vince Vaughn (Old School, Swingers) has proven he’s watchable and quite unique  and Owen Wilson (Starsky and Hutch) seems nicely amiable and “cool” from a certain point of view. But that doesn’t mean I’d put down money that they’d make an unforgettable comedy in the vein of Old School. They aren’t that safe a bet.

At least, they weren’t before. But that was before I found myself laughing myself to tears multiple times during Wedding Crashers, wishing I could dance like Vince Vaughn or drawl philosophically like Owen Wilson or just stare at Rachel McAdams in person while I sculpted a marble sculpture of her.

I’m not sure which is the better film: Old School or Wedding Crashers. I do know that how you feel about one will be essentially what you feel about the other, so let that guide the distribution of your movie dollars if you’re still “on the fence.” I also know that if you have a nice healthy sense of humor with a nice little “gallows humor” streak, you will wet yourself laughing at Wedding Crashers. I did. That’s right.

Wedding Crashers is like crazy good. Psychotically crazy good in a hugely uplifting way, so that after the film is over you may or may not want to crash a wedding, but you’ll certainly want to run wild laughing and breaking champagne bottles over your head and eating all kinds of cake and taking pictures of impressive cloud formations and showing them to a potential mate. When the end credits rolled I just sat there, laughing and weeping and feeling happy to be alive, and I fell in love again with the song that plays when the end credits start (“Aside” by The Weakerthans) and had to run immediately to Target to buy the soundtrack.

Ever notice how nice and clean Targets are, versus that other hated blue store? I truly believe we’ve entered a new era where Target stores and their classy products are the dominant capitalist force in the world (or at least America, I suppose) so that everything, including our comedies, are also clean, well-made, reliable, and well worth the money. And by ‘clean’ I mean they’re not all dirty and dingy, because you are going to find plenty of profanity (who doesn’t the f-bomb?) and some ample nudity (who doesn’t love nudity?). All of which is to be found at Target stores, or at least the ones in my neck of the woods. God bless California.

I mean, with a cast like Vaughn, Wilson, McAdams, The Christopher Walken, a super-secret comedy cameo (if you read ‘real’ reviews or have a brain the surprise is probably already spoiled), Isla Fisher, and all the rest, I guess maybe you can expect the best of the best. I’m not super-familiar with his earlier work, but it’s pretty safe to say that Wedding Crashers is Vaughn’s finest moment: unleashed, he’s free to dominate most of the running time with his unique line delivery and general unpredictable charm. I’ve read elsewhere, and I have to agree: you either like Owen Wilson or you don’t. I have some friends who find him “creepy” and “ugly” and “hard just to look at.” I see a laid-back cool dude when I look at him; of course I prefer Luke, but Owen is just as well, too. I love the rest of the cast, and Isla would probably stand out as the fairest of them all among others, but the absolutely gorgeous and charming McAdams just outshines her. But here’s hoping you get that love interest gig in the next Batman film, Isla!

Oh, yeah: Wedding Crashers refers to Wilson and Vaughn’s characters, whom for more than a decade have valuing wedding season in Washington D.C. over any other for the possibilities within. That is, the possibilities of crashing every wedding they can with a smooth cover story and a patented set of rules to cover behaviors, with the ultimate goal of scoring free booze, free food, and one night stands with beautiful women overcome by the emotions of attending a wedding. It’s a brilliant system that has clearly served them both well for a long time, but despite the kinetic jubilation inherent in the early wedding-crashing montage, it’s clear that Wilson is looking for something more, and though Vaughn can’t seem to comprehend his best friend’s mood change a high-profile wedding crash turns into an impromptu guest weekend at the home of the Secretary of the Treasury (Walken), where the Secretary daughters (McAdams and Fisher) just might matches for Wilson and Vaughn, if assorted obstacles like long-time boyfriends and potential psychoses don’t get in the way of their happiness.

The less you know, the better. Wedding Crashers surprised me with a couple routes the plot took, because while in retrospect a lot of it is pretty cookie-cutter after all, during the film events were somewhat unpredictable and unforeseen. And ultimately, it’s more about being won over by Wilson and (especially) Vaughn anyway, with a side order of finding Fisher a dream nymphomaniac and McAdams a dreamgirl all-around. If you don’t know for fact who the secret cameo is, don’t spoil it for yourself: it’s not like the film is made or broken by his/her contribution, but it’s a nice little “oh, it’s ____” moment with some genuine payoff set of scenes that the arrival sparks. You won’t get as much wedding crashing as you might think, but it’s worth it to get a slow down so as to better enjoy the charming greatness that is Vaughn and Wilson (whom I choose to believe are simply playing themselves for the most part; if that isn’t mostly the case than they both deserve Best Actor awards, especially the Vaughn!).

Is Wedding Crashers better than Old School? It’s something I’ll have to think about, and I certainly will. I smell article potential, in fact… I’m organizing a mass-viewing next week so I can see it again and have a big roundtable discussion with friends to really get my opinion on that particular matter sorted out. But I can honestly tell you after seeing it once that I haven’t laughed that hard or that consistently at a film since the first couple times I saw There’s Something About Mary in the theaters. And since this doesn’t bring the “Ben Stiller overload” or “Wait, Cameron Diaz isn’t that hot after all; what was I thinking?” elements into play, I think Wedding Crashers will be much more of a top-tier player on the great “Most Played DVDs” circuit than Mary turned out to be. I urge you all to see Wedding Crashers: It’s isn’t exactly what you might expect from the title and preview and R-rating, but it is a strong and extremely well-made romantic comedy with some big laughs. If you didn’t love Vince Vaughn before, man, you’re going to love him now. Good job, baba ganoush!

Drew’s rating: Dude, why didn’t any of my friends get married when I was single?

Drew’s review: If you’ll indulge me, I’d like to share a brief anecdote before we kick off the festivities. Just recently, the fiancée and I took a break from moving into our new townhouse to attend a matinee of Wedding Crashers. It being opening weekend, the time we planned for was sold out, so we bought tickets for the 4:45 showing instead. And as the theater filled with people, one thing became startlingly apparent: the audience was comprised of approximately 15% twenty-somethings, 5% small children, and 80% senior citizens.

Now, the kids are one thing; I’ve long since bitterly accepted the fact that some parents just don’t give a crap. But the nursing home excursion was both baffling and slightly annoying, particularly when one woman kept accidentally whacking my fiancée with her cane. I just couldn’t understand it — what is the appeal to the Greatest Generation of a movie whose marketing promised exactly two things: morally offensive gross-out humor and boobs? I felt like standing up and yelling to the theater at large, “This is our movie! Us, the folks younger than Pac-Man! You all should be eating dinner at Bob Evans right now. I don’t come here to scope out the GMILFs, so get out and leave us to our debauchery!”

But then again, they laughed at all the right parts and seemed to enjoy themselves, so I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on the geezers. Regardless… Wedding Crashers. I honestly didn’t know what to expect going in — I mean, the premise looked clever, but you can’t build an entire movie around two guys crashing random weddings; and when, twenty minutes in, I realized we’d already seen nearly every clip from the previews, I kind of wondered where we were going from there. And the answer turned out to be: well, a Meet The Parents-style comedy that’s pretty formulaic in structure for the first three-quarters… but with enough clever, funny gags and an ending unpredictable enough to keep me satisfied.

John (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy (Vince Vaughn reprising Trent from Swingers, having changed his name and moved out east), are professional wedding crashers, putting more planning and effort into the pursuit of emotionally vulnerable, horny bridesmaids than any normal person gives their real job; there’s no matrimony they can’t invent a fake name, accent, and heartfelt speech for. And as wedding season winds down for the year, the ultimate challenge rears its head: crashing the wedding of the daughter of Secretary of the Treasury William Cleary (Christopher Walken). But when John falls for another of Cleary’s daughters, Claire (Rachel McAdams) and is invited to their estate for the weekend, predictable hijinx ensue as he tries to keep Jeremy from blowing things and the con from being revealed. And just where do the bigoted grandmother and gay artist son fit into things?

There’s a lot to like about Crashers, so let’s hit a couple of the high points. I appreciated how they didn’t waste a lot of time on unnecessary explanations for why the two do what they do — they’re guys, they like free food and getting laid, so they crash weddings. Done, let’s get the comedy going. Also, most of the supporting characters were on the right side of that amusingly eccentric/excruciatingly irritating dividing line, and the secret guest-star-who-shall-not-be-named was as entertaining as ever. And of course, it doesn’t hurt that both the female leads were smokin’ — I never in a million years would’ve pegged Claire as the chick from Mean Girls, and the extra couple of years make it way less creepy to feel attracted to her. Ace!

Getting to the negatives, the subplot with Walken’s wife trying to seduce John felt forced; either keep the joke running all the way through or leave it out, but don’t just abandon it halfway through the film. Also, the fiancée and I both agreed that at alternate times, we disliked both the main characters… John for dragging Jeremy along and then throwing him to the wolves, and Jeremy for not showing up on time to the engagement party and facilitating an ass-whuppin’. And I’m sorry, but if your ending features grown women throwing their arms in the air and whooping like the Spice Girls, it’s time to tweak that puppy a bit. Just a suggestion.

I don’t really have much else to say about the movie — it’s standard Vaughn/Wilson fare, so if you normally find their movies enjoyable, expect more of the same; likewise if you usually hate them. My opinion, it’s hilarious and it contains the romance women crave and the breasts men demand, which is pretty much all you need.

But as someone who recently got engaged and will be walking to the gallows down the aisle himself in less than a year, there are a couple of things I’d like to get off my chest before we close out the party. First, the thing about tattoos on the lower back? Untrue, and anyone who tries to prove otherwise at my wedding with my little sister will not be a happy camper. Second, a warning to one of my groomsmen, presently quasi-dating the maid of honor: contrary to this film’s example, if you screw things up and then try to win her back while I’m taking my vows, I will kill you. Seriously. And third, I don’t mind that much if anyone wants to crash, as long as you keep it classy… but if you want a list of your best bridesmaid prospects, it’s gonna cost you. Small bills, please.

Intermission!

• That is one sweet montage of wedding crashing! If you buy the soundtrack, the “exclusive ‘Shout’ music video” is just the direct excerpt of the film where “Shout” plays. But it’s worth it! (see: soundtrack review below)
• The young, weird, artistic brother sure can paint fast. What are “tummy sticks?” Oh, wait.
• Owen Wilson’s nose is CRAZY. Have you seen it? It’s pretty weird.
• I like how the “you aren’t that young” theme is fairly subtle, but still very devastating and dominant in the background for John and Jeremy
• Whew! No Ben Stiller for a change: nice. Come back soon, Ben… but not TOO soon…
• They shot two versions of each “girl tumbling onto a mattress” clip. Remember how they all were wearing bras in the trailer? Different story in the movie itself. It’s niiiiiiice.
• Rachel McAdams – cuter as blonde or brunette? Discuss.
• Also, is it just me or do those ringlets make her look about 300% more attractive? And she didn’t exactly need the help to begin with.
• Gloria’s facial expressions throughout the first dinner table scene are priceless.
• One of the scenese features the two main characters hunting and arguing about hunting. Jeremy says,”I mean like, hunt a human being right now, most dangerous game. Like a worthy adversary.” This line is a reference to the short story “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell, which features a man who hunts other men as game. [thanks Pat!]