“I was just on my way to get drunk.”

Lissa’s rating: A movie put together in twenty-nine days, a review put together in twenty-nine minutes.

Lissa’s review: There are some movies I love, but for some reason I never review. I’ve watched them over and over, and I think they’re creative and brilliant and really worthy of accolades, but I just never put fingers to keyboard and actually say anything about them. I think it’s because of times like these. Times where I’ve spent the last however many nights sucked into the Heroes DVDs (and they are SO FREAKING AWESOME), and have not watched a movie at all. And to top it all off, Justin says, “Um, guys? Remember those paychecks? You’re not getting one unless you turn in some stuff.” Well, okay, maybe he doesn’t say paychecks. But you get the idea. It’s always good to have a movie or two that you can review off the top of your head for moments like this one right now.

For those of you that don’t remember much from before the turn of the century (and I’m probably talking to more of you than I want to think about, I’m now feeling as old as Sue, thanks), Wag the Dog was a little political satire that came a little too true. The movie focuses on a fictional, unnamed, and faceless president who is accused of sexual misconduct with a “Firefly Girl” less than two weeks before reelection. He hires Cornrad Brean (Robert DeNiro) to get him reelected. There are very few things that will distract the public eye from a juicy sex scandal, but one of those things is war. So, Conrad arranges one (sort of) with Albania.

All the official sites mention that filming on this movie began before President Clinton had his little cigar adventure with Ms. Lewinsky and then threatened military action against Iraq three days later. And this movie IS based on a book, which was published long before that. But I seem to remember hearing a rumor that this movie was filmed very, very quickly (thus the twenty-nine days reference), although I certainly wasn’t there. But coincidence or not, the movie raised a lot of eyebrows and attracted a lot more attention than it otherwise might have because of the way either art or real life imitated the other. And I’m glad, because frankly, Wag the Dog continues to stand on its own as a strong, smart, funny movie years after that specific scandal.

I can totally believe that there was a short filming time involved here. For one, Wag the Dog is a very short movie, clocking in at a brief 97 minutes. There is absolutely no extraneous information here, no side plots, no outside character development. The movie stays strictly on the subject of the fabricated war. The dialogue is smart and funny, a bit of a precursor to early Aaron Sorkin West Wing speak. The actors are all big names who deserve the fame they get — Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Anne Heche, Woody Harrelson, William H, Macy… all the kinds of names you see on awards statues and rarely in the tabloids. The kind of people who can probably come in and get the job done. There are no special effects, no stunts, no gun chases (well, one gun chase), and no fancy-schmancy technological efforts detracting from the story. The movie is entirely driven by plot and dialogue, and it works. It works brilliantly.

As I mentioned several times already, Wag the Dog is incredibly funny. A lot of the humor is carried by Stanley, Dustin Hoffman’s mildly flamboyant Hollywood producer, who is called in as an artistic consultant in giving the nation the impression of war. Stanley is at first very reluctant, but eventually gets swept up as he sees the possibilities open to him and the effects of his work. He essentially writes the whole script, giving the United States motivation to go to war (and one that the American people would actually rally around) and jerking at the nation’s heartstrings, even as he deals with the real-life players not playing by the rules. Add in his supporting cast (Dennis Leary as the Fad King and Willie Nelson as Johnny Dean (sort of, I’m not sure how much Willie was acting, here)), and the Hollywood contingent is a fantastic combination of ruthless efficiency and hysterical characterization. It’s even funnier when they’re brought up in contrast to the Washington D.C. players, and how differently these two sets of Americans think and operate.

For all that Wag the Dog is amusing, however, there’s a certain dark believability to it as well. It’s very alarming to think that so much of what we believe to be true could be a lie, but at the same time, it’s very conceivable. I think one of the scariest things about Wag the Dog was how much of it could really happen, and we’d never know it for sure. But that’s also what makes this such a compelling and excellent movie — it’s grounded enough in reality to be believable, even as there is a certain humor to it. It’s also not a super political movie (the party of the President is never even stated), but there are some interesting points on the way people think about government and other countries.

So, if you’re in the mood for something snarky, funny, and satirical, rent Wag the Dog. It’s held up amazingly well.

Intermission!

• I’d mention the Clinton connection, but honestly, if you were alive and near-adult at the time, how could you not?
• The Belushis were Albanian. (And actually, that’s true.)
• Willie Nelson is incredibly funny.
• Schumman’s medicine is called “Prozalium.”
• The dog trick came in handy after all.
• When Stanley is being escorted to his car by the secret service at the end of the film, one of the men repeatedly tries to open the car door but it has been accidentally locked.