“I haven’t seen a beatin’ like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose”

Justin’s rating: 2:3 for

Justin’s review: Vegas Vacation, if brought up in polite company at all these days, is quickly dissed and dismissed. But you know what, I don’t care what people say — I like Vegas Vacation a lot. In fact, after Christmas Vacation, it’s my second favorite in the entire series.

At this point, the franchise isn’t dumb enough to mess with the formula. You’ve got bumbling dad, Clark (Chase), who manages to make a mess out of every vacation through his well-intentioned clumsiness; his somewhat air-headed wife Ellen (Beverly D’Angelo); lucky teenage son Rusty (Ethan Embry); and blossoming teenage daughter Audrey (Marisol Nichols). Once again, their family vacation starts out well, spirals downward fast, and only a miracle can pull them out at the end. This time, the scenery of choice is Sin City, as the Griswolds attempt to enjoy family closeness in the nurturing environment of the casinos and the Hoover Dam.

The film splits up between each family member and their (mis)adventures. Clark has a blood feud with Vizzini the Blackjack Dealer. Ellen flirts with the idea of an affair with Wayne Newton. Audrey discovers her wild side with the help of cousin Vicki (who’s not been seen since the first Vacation). And Rusty discovers his natural talent at winning without even trying. All of these stories are pretty funny, save the Wayne Newton subplot. Newton just constantly irks me, and he doesn’t do himself any favors by playing a schmuck in every film he’s been in (see Adventures of Ford Fairlane).

Of course, it wouldn’t be a good Vacation film if Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) didn’t pop in for an extended stay — and fortunately he does 15 minutes into this movie. His crude and tactless persona clog Clark’s arteries, and Clark is stuck as Eddie shows him the cheapskate’s guide to Vegas (my favorite is a rundown casino where they have games like “Guess A Number Between 1 and 10” and “War”).

Even though the Griswold children should be around 30 by now, it was gratifying to see Rusty back as a pre-freshman. Ethan Embry was picking his comedic roles well at this point in his career with Empire Records and Can’t Hardly Wait. It’s hilarious to see Rusty transforming into Papa Gorgio, the gambling master.

So what to say about Vegas Vacation overall? Well, certainly it’s not as risqué as the eighties films, nor as outrageous, but it still has a plethora of smart laughs and, of course, Eddie. Lose the lame Chevy slapstick and Wayne Newton, and you have a movie worthy of a couple solid viewings, followed by some weaker viewings, followed by syphilis and death.

Kyle’s rating: My own tortured vacations with my own twisted family are better than this!

Kyle’s review: The Vacation series has played an interesting part in my life. My parents, who abhor censorship and ignore adults-only labels, let me watch pretty much anything when I was a wee lad and that included the original National Lampoon’s Vacation. And to this day, Chevy Chase’s Clark Griswold remains a perfect big screen adaptation of my father. It’s uncanny, it’s disturbing, and it’s a good way for me to get around the big relationship talk with girlfriends.

HER: Why can’t you express your feelings more openly? It’s like you bottle everything up inside.
ME: It’s because of my dad. He’s exactly like Clark Griswold. As a result, I’m emotionally shattered.
HER: Oh, baby! I’m so sorry! I forgive you for anything and everything!
ME: Give me some sugar, baby.

So the first Vacation movies doubles as personal footage of any of my family’s vacation (especially that time at Disneyland. My eyebrows still haven’t grown back!). European Vacation has a lot of great moments (that part where Clark gets stuck in the circle and keeps pointing out Big Ben and Parliament never fails to get me crying with laughter, despite a monstrous incarnation of Audrey) as well as gratuitous female nudity (which I desperately needed during my formative years!), and Christmas Vacation is, of course, simply one of the top five holiday films of all time.

Pretty lofty standards were set by the first three Vacation installments, which is why Vegas Vacation, by being merely average and watchable, seems like such a colossal disappointment.

The biggest problem here is that there is so much set-up and so little pay-off. The Griswolds in Vegas! Eddie (Randy Quaid, we love you!) and his brood stuck in a trailer in the middle of sun-blasted desert! Wayne Newton going for Ellen! The hottest Audrey of all! The set-up is great! But the writing team must have lacked a “closer” because the jokes are “lame” and while the situations are funny and get your hopes up, the resolutions are either nonexistent or so painfully unfunny you can’t even muster pity laughs. And Chevy looks so old and worn down that you get tired looking at him. I used to pray for Fletch Part 3, but now I also add on a heavenly request for miracle make-up and lots of long shots.

The best compliment I can pay Vegas Vacation is that it’s the best film to get a glance at the glitz of modern, non-mob-ruled (ha!) Vegas without having to endure a depressing film about some drunk and his Oscar-winning antics. If you ever watch any of those made-for-tv films and feel even vaguely entertained, then the level of sophisticated humor this film has to offer is probably right up your alley!

Otherwise, avoid this unless you’re a Vacation die-hard that has to see just how much money Clark can blow through in Vegas (answer: a lot! Just like dad! Sniff) and how the new set of Griswald kids looks. There are worst ways to spend an hour and a half, but it would probably be better to get some sun or go play some slots yourself than watch this. Just look out for that Wayne Newton! He makes those tiger dudes look normal and well adjusted!