“I was hitchhiking without having at least one foot on the curb.”

Drake’s rating: A gaggle of Gooches

Drake’s review: Once upon a time, when cars were cheap and gasoline could be paid for with the change in your pocket, cruising was a veritable rite of passage for America’s youth. The streets of Anytown, USA were filled with cars cruising in one direction, then turning around and heading back down the other. It was a chance to show off your car, check out the other sweet rides in town and basically have a good time without spending anything other than gas money. Which again, wasn’t much during the prime years of cruising.

The activity ebbed and surged over the decades, losing steam somewhat during the Sixties and the Vietnam war, then picking up momentum again in the ‘70s. And if there was a single locus point for cruising in the 1970s, it was Van Nuys Boulevard. A long, wide thoroughfare running through the San Fernando Valley, the street was at the peak of cruising literally filled with cars, with miles of vans, Camaros, Mustangs, and hot rods jamming the lanes. If you were into cruising, it was the place to be.

And if you’re Crown International, it was also the place to cap off your unofficial teen sex comedy trilogy.

So we have yet another Bobby, this one played by Bill Adler, who had also had roles in The Van and Malibu Beach. This Bobby, tired of his listless existence, leaves his New Mexico trailer behind and drives his customized van to Southern California to get in on the cruising action. After about fifteen or so minutes of Van Nuys cruising, he gets arrested for (you guessed it) drag racing his van, which leads to him being thrown in jail for the night. There he meets up with the rest of the main cast, including Moon (Cynthia Wood), the girl he was racing, her friend Camille, Camille’s stalker Greg and Gooch (David Hayward), who will be filling the Dugan role for this movie.

That’s right, guys. I really hate to break it to you, but Dugan is nowhere to be found in this flick. On the other hand, Gooch! We have a guy named Gooch!

I know, I know. It’s just not the same.

The film follows the Crown International formula of eschewing a cohesive narrative in favor of a series of vignettes as the characters meet, become instant friends, and then head to various Los Angeles-area locations to have fun. And for the drive-in fare that Van Nuys Blvd. was intended to be, it works well enough. The characters go to a nightclub, play air hockey, watch a synchronized dance routine by the Kansas City Kings Glitter Girls and go to Magic Mountain to ride the Revolution.

Unfortunately, they never run into George Segal or KISS, much less the Phantom of the Park.

What they don’t do, however, is head back to Van Nuys Boulevard, at least until the very end of the movie. For an exploitation flick about cruising, we get very little in the way of actual, y’know, cruising.

However, of the three Crown International movies I’ve reviewed, this one has the benefit of being directed by William Sachs. A well-known film doctor in Hollywood, Sachs wrote Van Nuys Blvd. in a week and then directed it in a mere eighteen days. His ability behind the camera is notable, and at times Van Nuys Blvd. almost feels like it had a budget to work with.

But it’s unfortunate that Sachs wasn’t able to add in more cruising footage, because a few short months after the film wrapped, it was the beginning of the end for the actual boulevard. Business owners along the boulevard were tired of the noise and the pollution, and city managers were sick of the gridlock and traffic jams. Police began ticketing for even mild infractions, making more arrests and at times even shutting down the street. By the early ‘80s, the pastime was dead, and teens were headed to the Galleria mall instead of Van Nuys Boulevard.

And that makes Van Nuys Blvd. something of a ‘70s time capsule. Within a few years the hairstyles, the fashions and the fads had all moved on as the ‘80s got into full swing. But as much as we all love the ‘80s, there’s one thing lacking in that decade that we finally get in Van Nuys Blvd. Yeah, you guys know what I’m talking about.

We finally get a one-on-one van drag race with a decisive finish. All I can say is, it’s about time!

Intermission!

• Among the films doctored by William Sachs are Exterminator 2 and Leprechaun.
• Dennis Bowen, who played Greg, appeared in over a thousand commercials during his career. A thousand! I wonder how many times I’ve muted him without realizing it
• I really wanted to call this the Dugan Trilogy, but with a Duganless third film that was just a no-go. The nerve of Steve (Dugan) Oliver! Running off to film episodes of ChiPS and Starsky & Hutch just because he wanted to be paid in something other than a handful of singles wrapped up in a rubber band!