“I do like scaring people, yes, but it’s just for fun.”

Justin’s rating: I am the ghost of jealousy

Justin’s review: From the several short films and narratively elaborate music videos that he made over his career, Michael Jackson sure gave the impression that he wouldn’t mind becoming a movie star. So if we start with the popularity of the “Thriller” video, expand it to a 40-minute runtime with Ghosts, the next logical step would be some sort of wacky two-hour Halloween epic that never got made.

But at least we do get Michael Jackson’s Ghosts, a treat for fans of campy horror. Legendary monster FX artist Stan Winston took the helm for this $15 million project, Stephen King helped to write the story, and Jackson paid for it all out of pocket. And no, I’m not making any of this up. It’s what you get when you have a strange public figure who had the clout to run with whatever odd notion came into their mind.

Ghosts begins with a group of semi-irate townsfolks (with the prerequisite torches… in 1996) marching on a spooky manor where a “weirdo” lives with a bunch of ghosts. One figures that Jackson heard that label thrown at him so often that he decided to simply own it. The whole movie feels like he’s punching back at the world by being weird to the maximum level that it’s possible to be.

In the manor, the townsfolk encounter the Maestro (Jackson), a guy who’s like Willy Wonka if Wonka had spectral subordinates instead of Oompa-Loompas. The Maestro challenges the group to a scare-off, delighting in freaking them out just enough to make it fun but not bed-wetting terrifying. Along the way, he’s going to sing a few songs that’ll be packaged up into an EP, rip his face off, and pour a few million bucks into CGI effects.

The only thing that was distracting here are the many many many many reaction shots of the villagers acting freaked out and doing little else. I started to wonder if they were all winners of a “Be in a Michael Jackson music video!” contest and had no idea what they’d gotten themselves into.

Of course, knowing what we do about Jackson’s disturbing predilections for children — whether sexual or infantile, I still have no idea — it doesn’t sit right how his character here and the town’s kids are way too chummy (and, as the movie implies, the kids have been visiting him without their parents).

The incredibly elaborate music sequences with the kind of jaw-dropping choreography that Jackson was known for reminded me why he was the “King of Pop” well before he was a tabloid-heading weirdo.  There’s a power and physicality to these dance numbers, even if the songs themselves are no “Thriller.”

Pretty much nobody saw this back in 1996, mostly because Ghosts was paired with the adaptation of Stephen King’s Thinner in theaters — and Thinner bombed like crazy. Maybe if it had been a Halloween special or shortened into an MTV segment, it would’ve made the cultural imprint that Jackson clearly hoped. It’s a shame, because this may be one of the most creative projects he ever did.

Ghosts has a ton of fun with the haunted house concept, drenching the viewer in spooktacular visuals while hopefully making you forget that this is Jackson’s “well, I’ll show THEM” clapback at haters. Winston’s team knocked it out of the park with the special effects, and even the CGI holds up fairly well today.

Intermission!

• Holds the Guinness World Record as the longest music video.
• “Someplace Else” is a weird name for a house
• “He’s a weirdo. There’s no place in this town for weirdos.”
• There’s a whole lot of head slapping
• The dors opening up from black and white into a room of color is a neat effect
• The ghost hitting the mom… ha
• Maestro stretching his face and then taking his skin off
• Time for dancing skeleton!
• Whole lotta yellin’
• Jackson plays the mayor in a whole lot of makeup. Can’t even recognize him… until he starts dancing, that is.
• Time for some full on demonic possession
• The super-huge Jackson face