“Is vagrancy a capital crime?”

Justin’s rating: Six out of eight reindeer on the ceiling

Justin’s review: Whenever Christmas time rolls around and you read lists of the best holiday movies — and even the most underrated ones — you’ll almost certainly never see Ernest Saves Christmas on any of them. It really hasn’t seem to embed itself in Christmas pop culture over the years as some other films have, to be sure. And that is a real shame, because while this movie isn’t high society theater, it’s always been one of my long-running favorite yuletide watches.

Maybe that’s an indication of my rock-bottom standards. KnowutImean?

The second Ernest movie boasted a more cohesive plot, a bigger box office (this was the highest-grossing of the nine films in the series), and a shooting location at the then-new MGM-Disney Studios in Orlando, Florida. It’s also a charming and funny Christmas movie that hits all of the expected beats of any movie where Santa spends half his screen time trying to convince a now-jaded public that he’s the real deal.

Instead of a camp counselor, Ernest P. Worrell is now a taxi cab driver in Florida who happens to pick up Santa at the airport. Señor Claus is visiting two days before Christmas to recruit his successor — no, not Tim Allen, but rather an affable ex-children’s television host named Joe. This doesn’t go quite to plan, and before you know it, Santa’s in the slammer, the reindeer are being held up in customs, a runaway girl named Harmony has stolen the magic sack, and Joe gets pulled away from his true calling by being hired to play a lead role in a monster movie.

As usual for Ernest movies, your enjoyment will completely depend on whether or not you like Jim Varney’s creation. Ernest is 25% optimistic speeches, 25% unintentional klutziness, 25% disguises, and 25% mugging for the camera. There seems to be a lot more of Ernest’s alter-egos here than in Ernest Goes to Camp, the best of which is Auntie Nelda. Say what you will about the rest of the movie, but Nelda was robbed of an Oscar in 1989. I kind of wanted an entire movie of nothing but her, to be honest.

There’s also a really strange “Vern” sequence where Ernest and Harmony visit the never-seen character’s house and proceed to thoroughly trash the place in the name of Christmas. It’s one of the ultimate fourth wall-breaking scenes ever filmed, and boy is it… something else.

For me, I always thought of Ernest like one of my stranger uncles. He might not be ideal to entrust the fate of Christmas or even someone’s luggage, but you’re bound to get a laugh and a good story by the time you’re done hanging out with him. So go see Ernest Saves Christmas, because you’re not going to get any other Christmas movie with this many snakes, felons, and undercover elves.