Special note: This debate was originally published on Mutant Reviewres in 2007, prior to The Dark Tower movie and miniseries.

One of the things I’ve grown to love about our office here in MRFH headquarters is how accepting we are of opinions that differ from our own. We have made it a mission of sorts to welcome different points of view with open arms, be it through counterpoint reviews between staffers, posts between forumites in our Mutant Café, or email exchanges between the readers and ourselves in our downtime. Of course, with that said, some notions are easier to stomach than others.

For example, as we were busily turtle-waxing the haunted cars and doing final choreography on the evil clown musical number for Stephen King Week, word came back to me that one of my fellow mutants, the scruffy, shadowy-looking Mike, was attached to the idea that The Dark Tower, King’s career-spanning, seven-book literary nexus, was an idea ripe for adaptation to the screen. Realizing the foolishness of this argument, but being the mature, competent professional I am, I immediately consulted the MRFH Emergency Conflict Resolution Handbook for advice. After many rounds of arm wrestling, Nerf tag, and one exhausting coal-miner’s-glove-on-a-pole match (Mike’s Note: I totally owned him at that), we were no closer to a conclusion and it was sadly apparent that only one option remained: our most hallowed, most deadly form of MRFH Kombat: A Crossfire.

First, a quick bit of background for the uninitiated. Stephen King’s Dark Tower is a seven-book series, written over a period of twenty-five years, which tells the story of Roland of Gilead, last of the knight-errant gunslingers, and his quest to save the Dark Tower, said to stand at the center of all existence. The world Roland inhabits is one that has ‘moved on.’ Its towns are decrepit and war-torn, its people are aging and faithless, and all around lies evidence of a much more advanced (and familiar) society long broken down and forgotten. Along the way, he is met by many different characters, some who will join up in his quest and others who try to stop him or seduce him away. Often, these are characters and concepts sprung from other books he has written, making The Dark Tower something of a lynchpin to his body of work. King has cited his main inspiration as Robert Browning’s Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came, but lists multiple creative influences for the series, most notably The Lord of the Rings, Arthurian Legend, and The Good the Bad, and the Ugly.

As a final note, in the following Crossfire, we’ll be talking about characters and events from all seven volumes, so consider this a big, honking SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t read them. For more information about The Dark Tower online, check out this or this, or just go to your local bookstore and buy the books, ya lazy philistine!

So Mike, popular rumor has it that you think they should make Dark Tower films? How do you see *that* working?

I actually always thought the only way any screen transition of the Dark Tower could ever be done justice is a mini series. Preferably on HBO, considering the subject matter (violence, sex with demons and whatnot). Also maybe they could do what the comic series is doing now and show the story from a few angles we haven’t seen.

Well, miniseries are always tempting. I like the idea of getting five or ten hours instead of two or three in which to tell your story, but it’s still a difficult balance to strike, avoiding the bloat that seven books inevitably contains while honoring the scope in which the story is told and a tale as massive as the Dark Tower, penned by no less than Stephen ‘I Heart Tangents’ King, is particularly susceptible to both.

From the very beginning of The Gunslinger, DT revels in epic images: two very small men in one very large desert. Shardik, the crazed gargantuan bear, rampaging in the forest. The humongous, Gothic relics of war-torn Lud. An impossibly tall tower in an infinite field of roses that is the nexus of all existence. Even Roland himself is patterned after Eastwood’s nameless hero in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and the *only* way to watch GBU is thirty feet high on a movie screen. I really can’t feel my heart in my throat thinking about any of that my television, even the fifty-four incher with the surround sound.

And with those images, of course, is inevitably all the baggage they entail. The attack of Shardik is a major setpiece of the first book of The Wastelands, and is important in setting up the Beams and the Breakers for later on, but isn’t that all just more of a MacGuffin than anything else? It keeps our characters moving so we can get to what we really want to see (the Tower), but even that end isn’t nearly as important or interesting as the journey, so how much screentime do you really want to spend discussing turtles of enormous girth? Father Callahan is tremendously important to opening us up to the more metaphysical implications of the ka-tet’s quest, but how much backstory does he get? Do we rehash ‘Salem’s Lot? Does he get own ancillary Animatrix-type short film? It’s all bloat: stuff that all feels really important to the story (and I would argue *is* important to the story) but I don’t expect would translate very well to the screen.

Come to think of it, almost the entirety of Wizard and Glass could — not should, mind you, but could — be excised without missing too much. How far do you indulge the whole ‘alternate worlds’ storyline? Do we get conversations about Nozz-A-La cola and Takuro Spirit sedans? What about the whole Wizard of Oz bit with the red shoes and the resurrected Tick-Tock Man? The flashbacks of Meijis and Susan Delgado are obviously necessary, but Cuthbert and Alain, who are both terrific characters and immeasurably important when attempting to define who Roland is, barely do enough in that story (the only place they really get to stretch their limbs at all) to warrant more than a few token lines as “the concerned friends.” I’m stretching my point, of course, I just don’t see how it would all be tackled.

I can’t argue that the big screen wouldn’t be totally awesome, but eventually every feature ends up on DVD. If you doubt the small screen’s ability to provide epic images I suggest watching Band of Brothers. Admittedly I’m thinking only HBO has the chops to deliver the kind of mini series that could do the story justice, but I’m thinking aspects of Band, mixed with Deadwood and Carnivale would be something WELL worth watching. I mean watch Doctor Who and compare it to the recent Star Wars movies. What really makes a show watchable is not necessarily the quality of the images or the size of the screen but the quality or the story and development of the characters, which by the way Stephen “I heart tangents” King excels at. The tangents are all about developing characters, which is what makes a good story be it a book or a movie. I think getting James Cromwell straight from the recent mini-series to play Callahan would be great, that’s the cool thing about a long mini series or even a whole series! Think of that, each book being a whole season!

I’ll admit the inclusion of Stephen King himself as a character is all a bit Deus Ex… but it really is possible to portray it the right way if you get an imaginative enough team. The changes made to Lord of the Rings from the books pissed off a few fans, but none of them would argue that the trilogy was thematically and technically one of the best motion picture experiences in recent history. Call me a naive optimist, but I think with the right director, Dark Tower could be just as good. Now as far as cutting the entirety of Wizard and Glass? I’ve got to disagree. I agree that Susan and Roland are important but Roland’s relationship with Cuthbert and Alain is just as crucial, particularly the stress between Cuthbert and Roland. Cuthbert’s jealousy and Alain’s concern for the both of them could make for some very compelling T.V.

Obviously some of the fat is going to get cut, as will happen whenever you transfer a written work into a visual medium, but if done right I really think it would be great to watch. As Stephen King himself said, “I don’t have a problem with that, because books and movies are apples and oranges. They are both delicious, but they don’t taste the same at all. I’m happy if it works.”

Point taken about it all ending up on DVD eventually, but I still contend it needs a presentation that matches its scale. Band of Brothers is an outstanding example of a miniseries done right while staying faithful to the source material, but I also feel as though the reason Band is always pointed to is because there are so few other examples of miniseries that really hit the nail on the head the way that one does. Most of them will instead end up like Into the West or Taken, that start off with a full head of steam but get bogged down in details and crumble under their own weight.

As far TV’s ability to deliver on the drama, you are absolutely right. Television, in the last few years, has certainly proven capable of the kind of intelligence that the Dark Tower would demand. Shows like Deadwood, Carnivale, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, and Eureka are absolutely prime examples of mature, clever, character-driven stories, but not a one of them is a miniseries. In fact, the only one that I know of that has had a miniseries to its name is Battlestar, which I consider to be the best show on television, and that was raked over the coals for having shallow characters and an anemic plot when TV-movie premiered in 2003 (I realize this one was my example and not one of yours, but not having watched Carnivale or Dr Who, I don’t really feel qualified to talk about them). The emotion and resonance those shows can inject alongside complicated plots are hinged on being a weekly series with reoccurring characters that the audience can grow comfortable with. A miniseries, even a long five- or six-parter, may not really allow for that sort of connection. Incidentally, I think expanding the overall story into the context of a TV series would be an awesome idea (especially with James Cromwell). USA did a phenomenal job with the reboot of The Dead Zone, taking the book’s plot and arching it over multiple seasons, but I suppose that’s neither here nor there in this conversation.

I’m glad you brought up the inclusion of Stephen King as a character, because that, to me, is probably the biggest question mark I have when thinking about the Dark Tower series switching mediums. I was always fiercely pro-film about this story until the end of book five when they stumble on the copy of ‘Salem’s Lot. From then on, King is tremendously important to the plot and figures pretty prominently in the seventh book, especially in the fate of Jake. Do you have any thoughts on how a film would accomplish that? Lookalike actors? CGI de-aging a la Patrick Stewart & Ian McKellan in X-Men 3? A full restructuring of the plot, “We’re taking Frodo with us to Osgiliath!”-style?

You know, you’ve got a really good point. In fact a weekly Dark Tower series might actually be the only way to really do the story justice. Imagine seven 24-episode seasons… one for each book! Done with the kind of budget shows like Band or Battlestar have, and combined with some really terrific writers and it could work. I’m so upset that I didn’t think to bring up The Dead Zone, but so glad you mentioned it because that’s a perfect example!

I honestly don’t think a restructuring of plot would be necessary as far as any part of the story. Honestly I can’t think of any scene or character arc that couldn’t be realistically portrayed on screen. I wouldn’t be averse, however, to a clever deviation from the plot that might freak out the audience. Moments like that make for good television. As far as the inclusion of King himself into the story, he’s more than proven he’s willing to play parts in productions based on his works. A look-alike combined with some CGI could certainly work for King’s younger days. I mean, if a 70-year-old Christopher Lee can do backflips in Revenge of the Sith, we’re certainly able to de-age Stephen King for a scene where he does little more than talk.

The realization of The Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings on screen gives me a lot of hope for adaptions of written works into movies. In the end it’s a matter of the talent you’re willing to put behind it. I’m fully aware an adaptation of the Dark Tower could be a complete farce, but that’s a risk you always take. You ask me, I think it’s worth taking a risk.