“Cause we all end up in a tiny pine box, a mighty small drop in a mighty dark plot.”

The Scoop: 2008, R, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman and starring Alexa Vega, Paul Sorvino, and Anthony Stewart Head

Tagline: Not Your Parent’s Opera

Summary Capsule: In a really messed up world, people buy organs, and when they can’t pay, they get repossessed. Oh yeah, and people sing about it.

Lissa’s rating: I can’t believe I actually wanted to watch a Paris Hilton movie.

Lissa’s review: I feel like I should turn in my feminist card or something.

Look, I can’t say I hate Paris Hilton, okay? I’ve never met the woman, and for all I know in real life she’s charming and gracious and kind to puppies and small children. But I do hate the fact that she’s famous. As far as I can tell, she has no real discernable talent (holding a tune and talent are not synonymous), and I just don’t get the appeal. I mean, I could name ten actresses off the top of my head who are more attractive and talented than Paris Hilton but not nearly so famous. (Fine: Leah Cairns, Katee Sackhoff, Alyson Hannigan, Jewel Staite, Gina Torres, Felicia Day, Mary Louise Parker, Ziyi Zhang, Angela Basset, and Sarah Chalke. See? And this doesn’t mention all the people we all know in real life.) So when we clicked on the preview for Repo! The Genetic Opera starring Paris Hilton, we were thoroughly prepared to mock it. We were NOT anticipating saying, “Um, y’know… that might be good.”

Of course, no one else was anticipating that either. I don’t think it came to a theater around here, but then again, I do blink. And when I went to the evil empire that is Blockbuster to rent a copy, there were three perched on the shelf, all waiting to be signed out.

Now, what in the world would possess me to watch a Paris Hilton movie? Excellent question. Let’s answer it:

1.) It’s a rock opera. I am a sucker for rock operas.
2.) It’s a rock opera about a post-apocalyptic world where people are oppressed and in danger and addicted. More things I’m a total sucker for.
3.) It’s stylistic. It’s kind of like a young Baz Luhrman on a bad acid trip. See above notes about suckers.
4.) Anthony Stewart Head.

So there’s this world in the not so distant future, where people were being killed by some plague that caused organ failure. A company called Gene Co was able to offer a solution, and some people became addicted to surgery, having “designer” organs. However, when they couldn’t keep up with the payment plan, the organs were repossessed.

Lovely premise, huh?

Repo! The Genetic Opera was one of the most uneven movies I have ever seen in my life. In one moment, I’d be thinking how much I was enjoying whatever was on screen. The set was pretty awesome (if obviously done on a low budget), the costumes and mood were pitch perfect, and some of the songs had their moments. And yet, the next moment I would be cringing in agony, amazed that something could suck that badly. When Paris Hilton comes off as the most talented in a trio, you have some issues, people.

The stuff I was loving was almost exclusively when Anthony Stewart Head was on screen. The guy carried the movie as best he could. I love good old Giles, and one of my favorite parts about the show was the father-daughter relationship between Giles and Buffy.. Here he plays an actual father, pushed to desperate measures by circumstances outside of his control and forced to do terrible things because although he has a choice, his other options are ones he can’t bear to think of, and he’s on a redemptive arc and DID I MENTION THESE GUYS ARE CRACK TO ME? I am a total sucker for that sort of character, and he played it so well. Tortured Fathers Desperate to Save Their Children are right up there with Pretty Boys Not Allowed to Have Nice Things, so yeah. I couldn’t help liking that part.

I also loved the way they did all the back stories, with graphic novel like panels. It fit the movie and the genre perfectly, delivered the back story effectively, and was an extremely creative touch.

The stuff I was hating was… well, a lot of it. The music was anything but melodic, although some of the songs were okay. But for the most part they were spoken more than sung, the lyrics didn’t flow, and they don’t remotely stick in the head. The first half hour of the movie was slow. Some of the performances were the opposite of impressive. I will mention it was gory here, but the special effects on that count were bad enough that I didn’t avert my eyes once. (Given what a baby I generally am about that, that’s NOT a ringing endorsement.) And although there are some interesting ideas, the movie is not deep, and the dialogue is not clever. The movie is making a bit of a splash at Hot Topic from the looks of things, and that’s perfectly fitting.

The thing is, Repo! The Genetic Opera struck me as a big risk by a younger film maker. There were some flashes of brilliance in it- ideas that worked well, tidbits that tantalized and showed real talent and vision… and yet, it seemed like it wasn’t quite carried through. And when a risk like that falls, it falls hard. After all, that’s what makes it a risk. And this was a risk that almost paid off, but not quite.

However, this is TOTAL Mutant material. Quirky, laughably bad in spots, excellent in others, interesting and warped ideas, and something that no one is ever going to watch but is actually fairly worth watching, at least once, as long as you’re into that quirky sort of thing. If nothing else, it’s only 97 minutes and you get to see Paris Hilton get booed off the stage. That right there makes it worth while. Would I recommend this movie to my mother? Not on your life. Would I recommend it to someone who reads this site? Hell yeah- this is THAT kind of movie.

So go rent it and enjoy!

Intermission!

• Joan Jett as a guitarist
• The headline of the newspaper is misspelled.
• How much profanity is in this movie? Pulling quotes was hard.
• Amber Sweet changed her face eight times.
• Granny DJ! (Much less alarming than the Granny rapper in Wedding Singer)
• That you can be quite alive after having your intestines removed? (Although I think I knew this after Braveheart. Who came up with disemboweling, anyway? And what was WRONG with them?)
• 10 out of 9? Really?
• Repo! The Genetic Opera holds the record for the most songs ever composed into one film, with 64.
• The movie is actually the second in a potential trilogy, although neither the first nor the third have been filmed.
• When traveling through the underground tunnels Alexa Vega almost caught her hair on fire due to the many torches around her.
• The entire set was built on one sound stage.
• Some of Amber Sweet (Paris Hilton)’s costumes actually belonged to Paris Hilton.
• Paris Hilton won a Razzie for her role in this. Ironically, she actually wasn’t that horrendous. Go figure.

Groovy Quotes

Grave-Robber: Zydrate comes in a little glass vial!
Shilo Wallace: A little glass vial?
Dancer, Dancer, Dancer: A little glass vial!

Pavi Largo: Ask a Gentern who they prefer, ten out of nine will say “The Pavi!”

Shilo Wallace: Stay with the dead, I’m joining the living!

If You Liked This Try

• Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Moulin Rogue!
• Heavy Metal