“Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.”

Drew’s rating: You know, if you have to hit up the local psych ward to get a date…

Drew’s review: If you’re anything like me, you… well, you should probably get some help for that, actually. But if so, odds are you’re not really one for the ultra-sappy, Hugh Grant-style romantic movies. Oh sure, I can enjoy the occasional Love Actually or Jerry Maguire, but for the most part I pass the chick flicks by in favor of, you know, gunfights and fart jokes. Hey, you gotta play to your strengths.

But sometimes, just sometimes, a romance comes along that makes me look up from my cave paintings, knit my overdeveloped brow in confusion, and take notice. And since this ain’t a review of Fight Club, I must be talking about Benny & Joon.

Benny (Aidan Quinn) has got things pretty rough. Orphaned at a young age and forced to look after his sweet but mentally ill sister Joon (Mary Stuart Masterson), he’s never had the opportunity to travel, date, or really enjoy life. The whole of his social interaction consists of weekly poker games with his buddies.

Everything changes, though, when a game gone awry leads to the arrival of Sam (Johnny Depp) in their household. Sam’s not the most educated guy, but his quirky mannerisms, encyclopedic film knowledge, and penchant for imitating Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin quickly win over both Joon and Benny. Everything seems perfect — Sam takes care of the house and watches Joon, and Benny is finally free to pursue his own life, as well as the lovely Ruthie (Julianne Moore).

But when unexpected love blossoms and Benny must face the idea of no longer being the center of Joon’s universe, can he cope with the change? Will Sam come to grips with the fact that not all problems can be solved by a funny pratfall or vaudeville routine? And can I stop asking questions and just let you see the movie?

Some have criticized Benny & Joon for seeming to convey the message that love can magically heal mental illness. I don’t see that at all — to me, the movie serves as an example of how love can make us see things in a new way and overcome difficulties; it illustrates how a partner can help you cope with your personal demons, not eliminate them entirely. All of the main characters, Joon included, are certainly in different places at the film’s end, but she clearly still has her fair share of issues. Sure, we don’t get a great deal of information about her specific condition, but is it so hard to believe that such drastic changes in her life could have a positive impact on her mental state?

In fact, I think what I like best about the movie is, ironically, how real Sam and Joon’s romance feels. Odd, yes. Eccentric, no question. But an iconoclastic entertainer falling for a shy, mentally unstable young woman is a lot easier for me to swallow than the idea that Julia Roberts is sitting home alone every Friday night because gosh darn it, she’s just a little too charmingly goofy for the general populace. Honestly, now. By way of contrast, there’s a real sweetness in the way Sam and Joon tentatively explore their feelings for one other, a tenderness I don’t see in your average “Oh no, I’m working for the two most handsome men in all of England, and both want to date me… whatever shall I do?” fantasy flick. Conversely, when Sam is brought face-to-fearful-face with the fact that maybe Joon isn’t as healthy as he thinks, you may have seen it coming, but it’s no less emotional a scene for it.

When all is said and done, good performances (Masterson’s portrayal of Joon’s breakdown is particularly impressive, as is Depp’s reaction to it), a compelling story, and a slew of great lines add up to make Benny & Joon highly enjoyable, and one of the better romances I’ve seen. It’s not perfect — Joon’s illness adjusts to storyline requirements a little too neatly, and though it’s a creative take on an old formula, the plot is still pretty familiar ground. But it does put a reasonably inventive spin on things, and for a romantic comedy that appeals to the cult crowd, you can’t go wrong with this one. Grab yourself a bowl of tapioca and enjoy.

Intermission!

• How Sam would make a GREAT Mutant Reviewer? Somebody recruit that guy!
• The scene where Sam makes bread rolls dance is from Charlie Chaplin’s The Gold Rush.
• The low-budget slasher film Ruthie starred in has tons of (intentional) goofs. Among them, her sister stabs straight downward to hit Ruthie, who’s standing 5 feet away; the shadow of the boom mike can frequently be seen; and the blood splattering on the wall doesn’t synch up with the shadow movements of the attack.
• You ever actually seen the Proclaimers? Man, those dudes look like Drew Carey with a liposuction.
• Mary Stuart Masterson requested that I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) be included in the movie. Good call!
• Johnny Depp did all of the Chaplin/Keaton stunts himself.

Groovy Quotes

Benny: Listen, she’s gonna be alone every day until I find another housekeeper, I’m not leaving her alone at night too.
Eric: So bring her, what’s she gonna do? She paints and she reads.
Benny: Yeah, she paints, she reads… she lights things on fire.
Eric: That happened once. Look, I got a fire extinguisher, just bring her.

Benny: What happened between you and Mrs. Smail?
Joon: She was given to fits of semi-precious metaphors.

Joon: Don’t underestimate the mentally ill; we know how to count.

Joon: I lost.
Benny: What was in the pot?
Joon: A cousin.

Benny: You can’t bet a human being!
Mike: Oh, well if you’re gonna be a baby about it…

Sam: Oh my God… ‘I just want to leave with my boyfriend – have you seen him? He’s a cute guy with a little mole on his right cheek… AAAAHHH! Oh Brad, oh Brad, Brad, please don’t be dead! Brad, I never had a chance to tell you how much you meant to me, oh Brad, please’… it’s you! You’re you! Ruthie Melonie, co-star of The Prom Queen Mutilator with Dick Bebe!

Sam: Hey, Benny, thanks for the couch… uh, Mike made me sleep under the sink.

Joon: Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.

Joon: He can really cook, can’t he?
Benny: Uh… yeah. Though for grilled cheese? I might’ve used the wool setting.
Joon: That’s what I told him.
Benny: Really? What’d… what’d he use?
Joon: Rayon. Silk would’ve been too soggy, cotton would’ve—
Benny: Would’ve burned it.
Joon: Right. Fortunately he consulted me before giving it steam – I was four-square against it.

Sam: You don’t like raisins?
Joon: Not really.
Sam: Why?
Joon: They used to be fat and juicy, and now they’re twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they’re just humiliated grapes. I can’t say I’m a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam: Did you see those, those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff?
Joon: They scare me.
Sam: Yeah, me too.
Joon: It’s sick, the commercial people make them sing and dance so people will eat them.
Sam: It’s a shame about raisins.
Joon: Cannibals.
Sam: Yeah.

Joon: So are you and Ruthie considering itemhood?

[Sam has just given a performance in the park]
Joon: Did you have to go to school for that?
Sam: No, no, I got thrown out of school for that.

Sam: How sick is she?
Benny: She’s plenty sick. Now listen to me, I’ve been doin’ some thinking–
Sam: Oh. Because, you know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she’s pretty normal.

Joon: I love him!
Benny: Yeah? Well YOU are crazy!

Benny: Listen, um… do you have any tapioca?
Ruthie: Jeez, Benny, I’ve heard a lot of lines in my life, but…

Benny: You wanna know why everyone laughs at you, Sam? Because you’re an idiot. You’re a first-class moron.
Sam: You’re scared, Benny.
Benny: I’m WHAT?
Sam: You’re scared. I can see it. And I know why. I used to look up to you, but uh… now I can’t look at you at all.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Garden State
• Edward Scissorhands
• The Fisher King