“The Marquis de Carabas is a little bit dodgy in the same way that rats are a little bit covered in fur.”

The Scoop: 1996 NR, directed by Dewi Humphreys and starring Gary Bakewell, Laura Fraser and Paterson Joseph

Tagline: Descend into the shadows of London below

Summary Capsule: Dispossessed man gets to admire the London sewer system, first-hand, on an adventure to find an angel

Justin’s rating: Ruddy good. Ruddy.

Justin’s review: There’s an age-old argument that boils and ripples throughout the movie critic community about whether you should consider a movie’s original source material (i.e., a “book”) when reviewing the film itself. As many times as I’ve actually touched on this subject, I can’t say that I lean to one side or the other on this discussion. Sometimes you do need to consider how faithful a movie is to the book its based off of, because that can expose the film’s critical faults or genius adaptations in doing so. Sometimes I’ve said that you should always judge a movie independently of its source, as a film should be able to stand on its own merit.

Really, I’m a film reviewer who can’t make up his mind about this, and that’s a great quality to have in this business. My official wishy-washy stance on this (as of today) is that a movie should always be able to stand on its own merit and judged as such, but a reviewer’s personal experience with the source material can be a valid factor in nudging the film’s effect up or down a notch. If you already have a solid opinion about a book before you see the film, then there’s no way in God’s green galoshes that you’re going to be able to divorce yourself from making the connection between that and the movie itself.

(As a related aside note, after PoolMan and I reviewed League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, we received not one but two incredibly long and passionate letters from a guy who was upset that we trashed the film. Fair enough, but the reason he was irate was because neither PoolMan nor I had read the original comic books that the film was based off of, and because of that, we were “in no position to judge.” Now, these letters were pretty crazy for two reasons. One, because there’s no law — nor should be — that a movie critic must read the source material for every flick before watching the movie, because we’d be spending half our lives trying to swallow Seabiscuit before being bored by Tobey McGuire. And two, I don’t know why he wanted us to judge LXG after reading the comic books, since the comic books were largely considered to be much, much better than the movie, and would probably just make us hate the film even more.)

Justin pauses at his desk, astonished to see that he’s in his fourth paragraph and has yet to even hint at the miniseries du jour. Taking a swig from his water flask, he gazes blankly out into space and wonders briefly if he has potential to be a long-winded public speaker. Probably.

This all is coming around to a point, I promise you, but it shall be a strange one. You see, I loved the book Neverwhere, written by Neil Gaiman. When I discovered that the BBC had produced a Neverwhere miniseries, I became ecstatic and ordered the DVD set as soon as it touched our shores. The ironic thing is that the book isn’t the original source material — the miniseries is. Gaiman wrote and produced Neverwhere as a six-part, three-hour miniseries back in 1996. While it was well-reviewed by critics, it didn’t break any huge ground in ratings. So Gaiman took his scripts, expanded the story, and turned it into a best-selling novel. Thus, if I mention the book during my review, I’m not referencing the source material, but the source material’s offspring. Huh. Okay, I know, that’s not that exciting.

Neverwhere is the excellent tale of a largely unlucky British guy named Richard (Gary Bakewell), a hapless hero in the grand English tradition of foppish hapless heroes dating back to Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy and Charles Dickens’ classic orphan magician David Copperfield. While walking with his prissy fianceé one night, Richard sees a hurt girl named Door (Laura Fraser) and ends up helping her (against his girlfriend’s wishes).

It so happens that Door is part of a secret (literally) underground society that exists alongside the normal society — one hidden in plain sight because we normies refuse to see it. By helping her, Richard becomes one of the misplaced, cast out of his world and drawn into theirs. Richard joins Door on her quest to find out who killed her family (who were sort of underground royalty) and make things right.

Personally, I love this sort of fantasy world, as opposite and far from the normal Tolkein “throw in some more elves and medieval references” crowd as is possible. The world of Neverwhere exists in the London Underground, where subway lines and magic coexist. Richard’s journey through this exciting and terrifying world is just plain fun as a ride, but made all the more special for the characters they meet.

Although likable, Richard is probably the dullest personality on display here. Door, quirky and sweet, is much more appealing, as well as possessing one of the cutest faces from the Isles (that’s what I call the British islands, but it just doesn’t seem to be catching on). Door recruits the enigmatic Marquis De Carabas (Paterson Joseph) — your Han Soloish rogue with all the connections — and the skilled bodyguard Hunter (Tanya Moodie). They barely stay one step ahead of the subhuman thugs Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemort (no, not the bad dude from Harry Potter).

Since it barely clocks in at three hours, one wonders why Gaiman didn’t just elect to go for a movie instead. As it is, this miniseries is a definite BBC-level production, which means that the video and audio quality are less like U.S. drama/action shows and much more similar to U.S. soap operas. It’s the only way I can explain it. That said, the lighting and sets in Neverwhere are fairly well done, and there are scenes where I couldn’t have asked for more in terms of perfection. Since the world of Neverwhere — extending from rooftops to a battleship to a royal subway train — is one of of high imagination, it’s terrific to see the set designers really getting into it. In those three hours we travel to quite a lot of places, and while some of them are lacking, others (like Door’s home, with pictures hanging everywhere in open space) are indelible.

While I more heartily recommend the book, the miniseries is a boon to the genre of weird fantasy, and a must-watch for anyone who has an itch for something unusual yet delightful.

Intermission!

• Yum! Eat a rat!
• The loads of ugly trolls on Richard’s desk
• Dick’s girlfriend is kind of evil incarnate
• Door is incredibly cute
• e-Pigeon…
• …and Rat Mail!
• V’s self-satisfied grin when he throws a knife into his hand
• The hanging picture room is wicked cool
• Frog golf
• When Varney is running from Croup and Vandemar and trips, that was a genuine trip caught on camera, and he actually broke his ankle.
• Writer Neil Gaiman is seen in the opening credits; he’s the shadowy figure standing in the archway.
• Door and all her family have very literal names that mean things you go through (Portico, Arch, Ingress and so on).
• The title Marquis de Carabas is the title given by Puss to her master in Puss in Boots.

Groovy Quotes

Anasthesia: Do you like cats?
Richard: Yes, I quite like cats.
Anasthesia: Leg or breast?

[Answering the phone]
Mr. Croup: Croup and Vandemar, the Old Firm, obstacles obliterated, nuisances eradicated, bothersome limbs removed and tutelary dentistry undertaken.

Mr. Croup: If you cut us, do we not bleed?
Mr. Vandemaar: [pondering] No.

The Marquis De Carabas: I’d like to wish you the best in your future career, but I doubt you’ll live long enough to have one.

The Marquis De Carabas: Nice in a bodyguard is about as useful as the ability to regurgitate whole lobsters.

Mr. Vandemaar: Best way to scare crows – creep up behind them, put your hand around their crow necks and squeeze till they stop moving. That scares the stuffing out of them.

Richard: Is it the kind of ordeal like visiting a rather bad tempered, elderly female relative is an ordeal, or is it more the plunging your hand into a pot of scalding water to see how quickly it strips the skin off sort of ordeal?

Door: The Marquis de Carabas is a little bit dodgy in the same way that rats are a little bit covered in fur.

Richard: We don’t matter. Don’t set it free.
The Marquis De Carabas: Actually I matter very much, but I have to agree. Don’t do it.

Richard: What kind of meat is it?
Food Vendor: Twelve!
Richard: I’ll take three vegetable curries then.

If you liked this, try these:

• Spirited Away
• The Stand
• Doctor Who