“You can’t leave now, it’s pizza time!”

Josh’s review: Allow me to paint you a picture. It’s 1995 and the snow is falling outside. A young Josh is crouched on his floor. In one hand, a Batman Forever Ice Blade Batman action figure, and in the other, a Surfing Michelangelo with the chest decal long ago removed. The adventures these two would have on the vast Berber plains of the carpet or the vertigo inducing heights of The Bunk Bed Cliffs are stuff of legend (just between my brother and I). Never did I think I would see this team up on the screen or anything close, but here we are!

Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is such a great idea that it’s amazing it took until the 2015 run of the six-issue comic mini-series for it to come around. I mean, Batman has been hanging with Scooby-Doo for decades, c’mon. Considering the comics are where both these properties were born, I decided to go to the source material first. The comic, for me, wasn’t as exciting as I’d hoped. The story was simplistic, and there were so many characters as if they weren’t sure they would get another chance that they jammed everything they could in those six short volumes.

While I really liked the Turtles’ character designs, I was not so keen on The Bat’s look. He looked to me like he had been on his 50th round of steroids and wouldn’t be able to touch his toes, let alone fight. There was also a moment when they tried to force some sentimentality into the story by once again showing us Batman’s origin. Still, it was a good one-time read, especially because it was so short.

But boy was I delighted when I began watching the 2019 animated film and discovered within 30 seconds the movie is quite different. It honestly surprised me. Around this time superhero mania was at an all-time high. Avengers: Endgame had just come out, Justice League just a couple years before, and it seemed like DC had been trying to pump out as many animated adaptations of their comics as possible. So, my bar was set pretty low going into this.

The plot was tightened up by writer Marly Halpern-Graser, who has the Turtles coming to Gotham (it’s now canon that they’re in the same world) to put a stop to the evil Shredder. His plan is to exchange a machine built by Baxter Stockman for the immortality granted by Ra’s al Ghul’s Lazarus Pit. After an awkward first meeting, the Turtles team up with The Batman and his gang to thwart the ne’er-do-wells, fighting their way through a litany of Batman villains first.

While the comic could be a bit slow and wordy at times, the movie moves quickly and is absolutely packed with action scenes. The fight choreography, if that’s what it’s called in animated movies, was really well done. Some of the fights are downright brutal. You get what you pay for too: Batman fights villains, Turtles fight villains, Batman fights Turtles, Turtles fight Robin, Batman fights Shredder, Turtles fight Ra’s al Ghul, etc. They even have time to pack in a car chase with a dinosaur.

Peppered throughout the action are some funny moments, usually involving Michelangelo commenting on all the weirdness in Gotham. There are also plenty of little references for fans of TMNT and Batman. I particularly liked when Shredder drops onto the catwalk in front of Bats at the beginning. It mirrored the slow motion drop when Shredder lands on the rooftop in the 1990 film.

This movie employs the talents of some big stars in the voice acting world. At one point, I thought to myself “The penguin kinda sounds like Sponge Bob.” Which made sense when I discovered he was played by Tom Kenny. In addition, there is Carlos Alazraqui (Rocko’s Modern Life, Spyro the Dragon) as Bane, Troy Baker (The Last of Us, Batman: Arkham Knight) as Batman, John DiMaggio (Futurama) as Mr. Freeze, and Tara Strong (Powerpuff Girls) as Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. That is just a handful. In my opinion, there isn’t a single one that I didn’t like. Batman gave me dark and deep and the Turtles voices matched their personalities well.

As far as the animation goes, it was pretty smooth, if not super detailed. The action scenes flowed and there was a real sense of speed in the chase scenes. I liked the character designs in this much better. Especially Batman. One I didn’t dig so much was Joker. He looked like a flash animation of a boardwalk amusement park ad from the 50s. And, seeing him as a snake was just disgusting.

Don’t come to Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looking for any deep meaning or new technical breakthroughs in animation because they aren’t here. This is what I would call pure entertainment.

Intermission!

• If you want more Batman and Turtles action, there are two more comic mini-series and a Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures mini-series geared towards younger readers.
• The opening credits scene is like a Turtles/Sin City crossover. Wouldn’t that be something.
• What is the reason you become a particular animal when you get the ooze in ya? What animal would I become? Probably a sloth.
• Did Ra’s al Ghul just kill a dude who was drinking from a “World’s Best Dad” mug?
• “Well sorry, this isn’t my thing! You do machines, I’m the party dude!”
• Batman is a pizza fold guy. Good for him.
• A Shredder Joker stinger scene. No thank you.