“Christmas without caring… that’s REAL bad.”

Justin’s rating: Best quarter that kid ever spent

Justin’s review: In 1984, two of TV’s most iconic actors teamed up for a Twins-style romp through New York City during the holidays. The A-Team’s Mr. T ends up taking Webster’s Emmanuel Lewis under his wing as the big guy tries to convince his younger counterpart that Christmas is, y’know, totally rad.

This flimsy pretext for a journey happens because Lewis (playing a kid named “Billy”) doesn’t believe in Christmas. “And a lot of people agree with me!” he says, prompting outraged letters to the networks that such blasphemy was allowed on television in Reagan’s America. Mr. T, who starts out as a Salvation Army Santa, takes the bet to prove Billy is a stupid idiot. Oh, he puts it in a much nicer way, but that’s the gist.

Will Mr. T “lose another one,” as he fears? Will Billy be the fool? Or will he ditch his B.A. — that’s “bad attitude” — for the spirit of Christmas and a Toys ‘R Us catalogue?

A Christmas Dream is a pretty high-value production that tries to dress up your standard holiday variety show with a modicum of story and a couple lovable personalities. Mr. T was a mega-star at the time — don’t forget Rocky III — and Emmanuel Lewis had more people cooing at him than their own flesh-and-blood children.

There’s a lot happening in this hour, which ends up being a kind of Ferris Bueller’s Christmas Off tour of the town. The pair visit a toy store, get a private magic show from David Copperfield, take a horse-and-carriage ride together, watch figure skaters at Rockefeller Plaza, chat with a ventriloquist, watch the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes, and eventually make it to the most feel-good party of the season.

If the ventriloquist dummies were the highlight of this tour, the worst was having to endure the warbling carols of Broadway singer Maureen McGovern. Everyone’s trying to shove the Christmas spirit in a kid who probably only needs a Nintendo to be happy.

All of this makes you wonder who is legally responsible for this young child who’s cavorting all over NYC with a stranger. Eh, it was the ’80s. Everyone could go on adventures with strangers as long as they were home by the time the streetlights came on.

Perhaps the best reason to look up this special is for all of the amazing commercials. Christmas commercials usually get extra production value, and that was totally true in 1984. There’s so much nostalgia here, including M&Ms, Rainbow Brite, He-Man, and the lovely scent (?) of Clorox bleach. There were little catchy ditties, over-actors, and ads for sitcoms like Facts of Life and Silver Spoons.

I could’ve easily watched a full hour of these commercials and been vastly more satisfied.

As it is, this is a strange special that taxed my patience as an adult and probably would’ve as a kid, too. Despite the talent here, it’s not that funny, the “Billy doesn’t believe in Christmas” angle isn’t that dramatic, and the acts are the kind that maybe only your grandma who grew up in the Great Depression would like because anything to drown out the past horrors is a welcome respite in her mind.

A Christmas Dream never became a huge staple of the December TV landscape. It only aired once and is only remembered because the Internet found it amusing as it does with anything Mr. T-related. It’s definitely a time capsule of the 1980s, for all of its virtues and vices.

But those commercials, man. I dig those totally bodacious ads.