“I must say, this body fits me like a glove!”

Justin’s rating: Remember when everything sounded so rad when you’d put “2000” after the title?

Justin’s review: Thanks to the marvelous technology of VCRs, I was a taping fiend when it came to recording anything even vaguely science-fictiony in the late ’80s and early ’90s. When Knight Rider 2000 aired in May 1991, I made a point of grabbing it for myself, subsequently watching it probably a good dozen times. Thus, I may be one of the few human beings who not only remember that this existed but saw it multiple times over. This is no doubt what they’ll be saying about me in my official biography some day.

Having remembered this fondly, I’ve been searching for a copy to rewatch (having ditched my VHS tapes a long time ago) for a while now. I finally found a copy preserved on the Internet Archive — bless you, nerds — and can relive this pop culture phenomenon.

Knight Rider itself was this interesting scifi-action-drama show that ran from 1982 to 1986 and then in afternoon syndication for many years afterward. It’s how I knew who David Hasselhoff was long before Baywatch, and the idea of a sequel show in the vein of the ’90s was appealing to me.

Knight Rider 2000 was a backdoor pilot for a follow-up series that never made it. The studio didn’t give up on the idea of more KITT, though. It did another standalone TV movie in 1994 (Knight Rider 2010), a spin-off series called Team Knight Rider in ’97, and another TV movie and series called Knight Rider in 2008.

One thing I absolutely adore is how the ’90s was obsessed with prognosticating the near-future of the 2000s. So two years before Demolition Man pretty much did the same thing, Knight Rider 2000 looks at a “future” where guns and capital punishment are outlawed and criminals frozen for their sentence. But when a really bad guy (X-Files’ Mitch Pileggi) is thawed out and assassinates the mayor, it’s up to a lawman from the past to take him down.

With, y’know, a fancy car.

The Knight Rider program is rebooted with the new Knight 4000, a snotty red sports coupe with a virtual reality display and AI. The Foundation has a month to prove itself as a viable law enforcement alternative before losing its contract, so they dredge up Michael Knight (Hasselhoff) to get it on track.*

And where there’s a Hasselhoff, there’s a KITT lurking in the wings. It’s not long before the old AI is shoved into the sleek new car (but only after being put into an old Chevy), and then we’re off to the races. Michael, Devon, and KITT (or, technically KIFT) get a new partner in Officer Shawn McCormick (Susan Norman). Shawn gets Robocop’d — shot, left for dead, and resurrected as a cyborg with one of KITT’s old chips in her head.

There’s a conspiracy in the cop department to uncover, and this outside crew is just the bunch to do it. Once all of the pieces fall into place, KITT, Michael, and Shawn go on the offensive. The movie pulls out the stops here to show some of the potential for the proposed show. KITT’s new gadgets include a VR overlay that does pretty much nothing and, why not, a hovercraft conversion so that they can do a race through San Antonio’s river walk.

The Hoff and KITT are fine here, bantering a bit like it was the old days, but Susan Norman has a hard time breaking into the series as a watchable star. Half the time she comes off as emotionless — it’s her KITT data chip, you see — and needlessly antagonistic. She just doesn’t get much space to develop as a character, and so isn’t that welcome to take over as the lead for a non-existent series. And the only other character from the original show, Devon, is killed off in a sad but unnecessary scene.

Knight Rider 2000 isn’t looked upon kindly by the Knight Rider community,** but I am partial to its near-futurism, its fun gadgets, and the very ’90s feel for this franchise. The story is acceptable — not great, but acceptable as a pilot — and there’s plenty of throwback tissue between the original series and this. I liked it back then, and nostalgia goggles or no, it’s still quite likable today.

*If the series had been picked up, Hasselhoff wouldn’t have been a part of it. This is more of a “passing the torch” move.

**People spit on this, to be frank. But now you know how to rile up a Knight Rider fan.

Intermission!

• The absolutely dope theme song was composed by Miami Vice’s Jan Hammer, who released it on his 1994 album, Drive. Unfortunately, this one song is the entire soundtrack for this movie, and it’s cut up and used over and over again.
• The new car is a modified 1991 Dodge Stealth. It’s a good choice.
• Prisons were awfully chilly in the year 2000
• Has jumping on a bad guy’s back like an adorable backpack ever worked for a petite woman?
• That is the most crowded police locker room. Co-ed, of course.
• “Maybe a chicken wing will help!”
• President Dan Quayle! A peace treaty with England!
• The cops here have ultrasound pistols, so why hesitate? They’re cool guns, although the bad guy got right back up after being shot.
• Oh just go ahead and handle the pistole and get your fingerprints all over it. And then take it for yourself. That’s fine police work.
• Birthday parties are a great excuse for character backstories
• “Is that you Michael? You look like crap.”
• That’s the biggest empty bay of a workshop… with one tiny table all alone
• “Relax officer, you’re off duty now.”
• Yeah just stop a life-saving surgery for some mind probing
• KITT in the Chevy
• This is the weirdest Jimmy Doohan cameo: “Please, somebody beam me up!”
• “Terrific, the lights are on, but nobody’s home.”
• “Sister of KITT” is a funny term
• “It’s a KITT from Radio Shack.”
• The Philippine War of ’93
• KIFT doesn’t mind slamming into deer
• ’57 Chevys are airtight with 25 minutes of air
• How’d they get the Chevy out of the harbor?
• Algae as fuel that’s tanked the oil market
• KITT has a car phone and a fax machine — this IS the future!
• A red sports car swimming through a canal is the stealthiest vehicle in town
• She’s running pretty well for someone with a gaping shoulder wound
• “An old man named Manson is scheduled for release.”