“Yeah, we like you! You’re stupid!”

Drake’s rating: Everybody’s so serious here! There’s not even a single case of the good giggles!

Drake’s review: Bennie has trouble written all over him. And that’s not just because he’s 25 and still going to high school. No, Bennie’s a quick-talking troublemaker who breezes into his new school and quickly gets on the wrong side of the local toughs. But Bennie’s a smart guy, and he knows it won’t take much to win them over. In fact, all it takes is a few beers and Bennie has himself some brand new chums.

Or maybe that should be “chumps,” since Bennie’s not really the social sort. In fact, he’s not looking for friends so much as customers, since Bennie works for the local drug kingpin. That’s right, Bennie’s in the drug trade and soon turns the gang into a band of crazed addicts looking for their next fix of… marijuana?

Oh, I see. The Cool and the Crazy is one of those movies. Not content to churn out monster flicks and teen dramas, the notorious schlockmeisters at American International Pictures dug deep into the exploitation well to warn drive-in audiences across the country about the dangers of Mary Jane. And as portrayed in this flick, the demon weed is certainly a menace to society at large. Why, it’s addictive from the very first puff! In fact, it only takes one joint for poor Stu to turn into a sweaty, bedraggled mess who’s barely able to navigate a stairway.

And it was definitely the devil’s lettuce that was the culprit, not the beers Stu was chugging down earlier.

Unfortunately, that solitary joint turned Stu into a hardcore junkie just looking for his next fix. Bennie’s all ready to be his pipeline, but Bennie himself has been cut off by the big man in charge. It seems that he’s been getting high on his own supply, quite literally, and the organization no longer trusts him.

And that leaves not only Stu but seemingly every other teen that got even a whiff of the sticky icky jonesing for their next hit of the ol’ KGB.* Poor background character Cookie even goes so far as to get himself killed in an attempted robbery, just because he needed some quick cash for the green goddess.

The Cool and the Crazy is a hilarious drugsploitation flick that takes itself far too seriously from the first frame to the last. And that self-seriousness, combined with some pretty decent performances by the cast, works in the movie’s favor.

It’s a film that’s incredibly uninformed, but is so earnest in its ignorance that you can’t help but be amused by its utter obliviousness. The whole of the production is encapsulated by educational film actor Shelby Storck, here playing a hard nosed cop who harasses Bennie and threatens the teens. When Bennie finally crashes and burns, quite literally, Storck is there, laying it on thick and asking the others, “Is this what you call kicks?”

Well, no, man. This is what I call a cheapie exploitation flick.

*Killer Green Bud

Intermission!

• Dig that crazy jazz, man!
• He’s 25 and still in high school. Good thing his classmates are the same age or he’d really stick out.
• It’s 1958, and sweater vests are all the rage.
• “Pat’s Pig” is certainly a choice for the name of a bar. Is it run by Pat? Is the pig the bartender? So many questions.
• A parking lot scuffle followed up by beers all around. It’s just the way friendships were cemented in the ‘50s.
• So the cop is threatening him with the death penalty for selling weed? Imagine the penalty for jaywalking!
• Bennnie’s drug kingpin cuts him off cold. And drug kingpins are usually so reliable and compassionate!
• Jackie’s girlfriend is holding that joint like a pro. Sure, she’s demonizing weed now, but five minutes after he leaves Amy’s gonna blaze that bad boy.
• So Stu’s acting all weird after his encounter with a bit of Doña Juanita? Just sit him down in front of the TV, turn on some cartoons and give him a bag of Doritos. It’s not rocket science.