“Why did I even come to this cold, cold place?”

Heather’s rating: 8/10 booty-hugging body suits

Heather’s review: A couple of weeks ago I was playing a compilation music video in the background while cleaning. I glanced at the TV and stopped for a full minute to watch clips of a gorgeous anime in the background that I’d never seen before. My husband and I were so stricken by it that we did a search, found the film, and watched it right away.

Directed by Osamu Dezaki (Astroboy, Lupin III), Space Adventure Cobra was just as beautiful as the 60 seconds we had seen on YouTube. Scene after scene evoked both the loneliness and the excitement of a life lived in space with a drug trip of a plot pushing things forward.

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, the incredibly beautiful Jane Flower is turning a bounty in at a bar when a shaggy-haired blond man spots her. As she leaves, he and his robot sidekick follow in an attempt to catch up. Once close he shoots his shot by bragging that he’s the famous Cobra, a space pirate on the run from the Pirate’s Guild (which has placed a huge bounty on his head). Jane brushes him off, thinking he’s lying, as he doesn’t have his trademark psychogun. Cobra is the only man in the galaxy with this devastating weapon, which is permanently attached to his left arm, and this guy has way too many fingers.

The Guild rudely interrupts this meetup with a handgun howdy, so even though she still doesn’t buy his story they take off together. Things are dire when suddenly the man brandishes his arm gun and blows their pursuers away. Once he whipped out his huge cannon Jane was convinced and fell immediately in love with the beefy goofball. I was tempted to call him “Kronk Solo” for the whole review, but “Cobra” is shorter.

Anyway, that was where the story stopped making any sense for me. From what I read it’s based on a manga, specifically the first arc of said manga, so perhaps fans were able to follow things more easily. For me, I was just along for the ride as Cobra visited exciting locations, met badass sexy women, and was told by a flying Baby Yoda how he could be the savior of the solar system (which he then promptly failed at).

The overall experience was a bit lacking for me, as things moved so quickly that I never felt connected with the characters or their motivations. Still, the breathtaking animation and haunting music gave everything a dreamlike quality that made the discombobulation work.

If you haven’t yet, grab this movie and let its ’80s-ness consume you.

Intermission!

• This movie is used as the background for in the music video for “Girlfriend” by Matthew Sweet
• Osamu Dezaki also directed an episode of the 1984 Rainbow Brite TV series, which is just so funny to imagine.
• Some of the soundtrack is very Star Wars-esque
• Snow Gorilla!
• Cobra is asked to take care of Jane, Jane immediately dies.