“I’m gonna suck you dry, pretty boy.”

Justin’s rating: Could we make something else on them blow up? Maybe a butt?

Justin’s review: While movie sequels were not a new thing by the time 1990 rolled around, the ensuing decade became downright shameless in green-lighting follow-ups for anything geeky, especially horror and scifi. This is how Scanners, a stand-alone David Cronenberg flick about battling psychics, suddenly found itself the subject of four (!) direct-to-video sequels and spin-offs in the first half of the ’90s.

And why not? The original had a gem of a good idea tucked into an overly plodding script, and the ’90s was the perfect time to dust that off and turn it into a franchise that would haunt late night cable. After all, think of Scanners as the X-Men but everyone is Jean Grey. That’s a concept that’s got some serious potential.

Scanners II: The New Order kicks off in a grungy city where the cops are recruiting psychic users for crime busting. And as cool of an idea as that is, it’s complicated when a controlling drug is killing off the Scanners and the police may not be on the up-and-up about this special task force. Corrupt cops and officials wielding a psychic army is a pretty terrifying concept.

All of this dirty laundry is brought to light when goody two-shoes David (David Hewlett) and his mullet is brought in to be the new hotshot Scanner and exposes police corruption instead. As he goes on the lam for his life, he finds a little time for a romantic relationship with Isabelle Mejias (State Park) and uncovers a poisoner who’s been killing loads of people.

While this doesn’t outright say it, Scanners II implies that this franchise takes place in a slightly dystopian future. There are a few weird touches here and there to suggest a kind of RoboCop-like city hellscape and shifts in society and tech. It does seem that the actual Scanners are still a well-kept secret, even if you’ve got a one in an arcade making games play on their own and tossing people left and right with his mind.

The fun here, of course, is watching the Scanners go nuts on each other and normies with all of their telepathic and telekinetic abilities. Heads will be blown up (again), bodies tossed across rooms, and people forced to shoot and stab against their will.

There are a several memorable scenes of psychic showdowns, some nice world-building touches, gruesome makeup effects, and two exploded noggins instead of just one, but Scanners II doesn’t do much to take this idea in new directions. It’s more or less a remake of the first movie, and that’s a mistake when you’re trying to make the case for an enduring franchise.

Cool ideas are underserved when nobody has any fun with the and your hero looks like he’s moping around most of the time. They absolutely needed to take this idea and just, y’know, gun it. Go crazy, go big, go creative. But this holds back in a way it shouldn’t. Pity.

Intermission!

• You don’t look like you’re having a good day, Opening Credits Howling Dude. I’m sorry.
• All the cool stuff happened in arcades in the ’90s
• RANDOM VIOLENCE AGAINST MANNEQUINS
• “I don’t want a scan war up there.”
• Cool scifi hospital beds have lights under them for no apparent reason
• Subway diner looks cool, and it comes with synth performance
• “Show this zombie the stairs.”
• Scanners can mess with your hormones now I guess
• Hope you’re ready for some hot toothbrushing action!
• That guy keeps a lot of panes of glass in his attic
• “Cities die sometimes, you know that?”
• Hey by the way you’re adopted, we’ve been lying to you for a while, hope that’s OK
• SOUP TO THE FACE
• Who stores an entire tray of hypodermics sharps up?
• The super-spinny attack isn’t as cool as this movie thought it was
• “We mean you no harm” says the guy who just harmed several people to death or disfigurement