“There’s a wrinkle in reality. And that wrinkle is you.”

Justin’s rating: Threeeee Deeeeeee!

Justin’s review: After seeing five Final Destination flicks, I still can’t decide if these are some of the stupidest or most clever teen/young adult horror films. The basic premise about someone getting an advance premonition of a massive accident who takes steps to save themselves (and others) only to have “Death” stalk them in petty revenge doesn’t seem to hold up to scrutiny. These films could even be accused of appealing to our bloodlust and nothing more.

Yet I think there’s an interesting game going on with these movies that we don’t normally get where the filmmakers are interacting with the audience, seeing if we can figure out how the semi-mystical deaths are going to happen before they do. In a way, it’s a little like the dynamic that happens in whodunnits that brings us more into the film.

And like a really good whodunnit, Final Destination 5 may be doing a masterstroke of misdirection with the mousetrap death scenes to keep our attention away from something even greater.

You know the drill: There’s a huge opening disaster set piece where a ton of people are killed, but it’s just an advance warning from what I assume to be a hypocritical Death. A handful of people escape the demise they were scheduled to have, and the remainder of the movie is a vengeful Death thumbing through a manual of innovative ways to give people the most gruesome ends possible.

In this case, it’s a bridge collapse that kills off a good chunk of a paper company heading out on a retreat save for seven who follow Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto) off a bus and to safety. But as the Creepy Mortician (Tony Todd) says, they’re all marked for death unless they can trade with someone else. Whatever. I don’t know. Again, the “rules” of this franchise are nebulous and inconsistent.

Perhaps it’s not the gory or sometimes ironic demises in this series that appeal to filmgoers but the rising tension. Every scene in this movie is saturated with nerves — the feeling that something is off, that the supernatural may be in play, that the other shoe may drop at any moment. Eventually it does, and it’s kind of a relief when at least we can say, “Well, at least that’s over.”

It’s been a long time since I saw any of the previous films in this series, but I will acknowledge that Final Destination 5 is very well put-together, visually captivating as the camera invites us to examine the small details, and packing a certain twist that’ll make you want to see it a second time. Oh, and enjoy the reams of foreshadowing of deaths (and other stuff) that also bears closer scrutiny.

The only thing I really disliked was the egregious use of 3D effects. Maybe it looked better with glasses, but it’s so awkward whenever the screen is trying to shove something bloody right in our faces.

It is pretty strange to me that the series took a 14-year break after this one, considering how very profitable all of them were (this one made $157M off a $40M budget). Usually there are diminishing returns to any horror franchise, but that doesn’t seem to be happening for these films yet.

Intermission!

• The opening credits are a bonanza of clues and callbacks
• “Naked team building” doesn’t sound ethical
• “I remember, you’re a bigger gal, right?”
• WATCH YOUR STEP
• “Bald’s the new black, sir.”
• The logging truck that’s a bit of a callback to the second movie
• Sailboat impailment, ick
• “I see dead people.”
• It is strange to see the mostly empty office after all the people died
• That guy couldn’t be more skeezy if he tried, and he did try
• “Do you come with subtitles?”
• Does this mortician guy just stalk every death scene?
• The bucket of glasses, that seems wasteful
• The teddy bear, heh
• This is a fun movie if you like eyeball stuff, I guess