“And now, my friend, the first rule of Italian driving: What’s behind me is not important.”

Drake’s rating: A solid three-and-a-half Francos

Drake’s review: So as you can tell from the date of this film’s release, I did find my ‘70s movie lists in the dumpsters behind the Mutant Offices. Most of them, anyway. Unfortunately, Justin had thrown out the ink refills for the pens that he uses to write the Mutant Contracts on the same day, and now my notes are stained a bright toxic green. And some are partially dissolved. Still, outfitted in my best protective gear, I’ve soldiered on in an attempt to decipher my own somewhat untidy scribblings, and in doing so discovered this little gem nestled right between Jose Larraz’s Vampyres and Mr. Majestyk with Charles Bronson.

No, I don’t have the titles sorted by genre or alphabetized, I just sort of jot them down whenever I think of them. You’ve all read more than one of my reviews, this should come as a surprise to no one.

But to (finally) get to the point of this review in particular, Gumball Rally is a racing flick. It’s not about Formula 1 or NASCAR, however. Instead the competition here is based on the Cannonball Run, a coast-to-coast race that gained some notoriety in the 1970s thanks to a feature written about the event in Car and Driver magazine. The writer behind the article, Brock Yates, was also the originator of the Cannonball Run itself, and he was of a mind to turn the race into a film.

In true Hollywood fashion, he was beaten to the punch by Roger Corman’s Cannonball, which premiered in July of 1976, and Gumball Rally, which debuted a month later.*

Now while Corman’s Paul Bartel-directed flick goes surprisingly heavy on the drama and the violence, Gumball Rally is a light-hearted affair. Mimicking the tone of the magazine article, the race portrayed here is primarily a playful one, with the entrants happily zipping down the interstate with nothing deeper on their minds than winning the trophy, which is of course filled with gumballs.

Why gumballs? Well, bored candy tycoon Michael Bannon (Michael Sarrazin, The Reincarnation of Peter Proud) is the man behind the race. A competitor himself, he has been racing his friend Steve Smith (Tim McIntire, Aloha, Bobby and Rose) his whole life and the pair show no signs of slowing down. Putting out the call, Bannon merely picks up his phone, utters the word “Gumball,” and the race is on.

The other competitors are introduced quickly, and for most of the teams the cars are more interesting than the drivers. But that’s what happens when you have an AC Cobra and a Ferrari Daytona in the lead roles.

Still, introductions are made swiftly and effectively, with paired-up drivers getting their cars ready to go in a shared garage in New York City. A few familiar faces pop up, such as a young Gary Busey in the beefed-up Camaro Z-28, and if you’re familiar with ‘70s flicks you’ll probably recognize a few background players here and there. But just as you’re thinking that this film looks fine, if lacking in star power, in walks Franco Bertollini.

And, as played by the great Raul Julia, Franco steals the show.

An Italian race car driver whose list of wins is longer than his arm, Franco is a ringer brought in by Smith to co-drive the Ferrari. Unsporting, perhaps, but then the Gumball Rally doesn’t really have any rules. And besides, it’s Raul Julia. Break all the rules you want if it means Raul Julia gets to ham it up in inspired fashion as a driver who can race with the best of them, as long as he’s not distracted by a pretty face.

The race itself is kept breezy and free of drama. Norman Burton (The Towering Inferno) has some fun as Lt. Roscoe, a cop whose mission in life is to bust Bannon and Smith, and the pair happily play twin Road Runners to his bumbling Wile E. Coyote throughout the film. Other bits include a Jaguar that refuses to start,** a pair of older racers just cruising along at their own pace in a Merceds-Benz 300SL, and the misadventures of a crazed Kawasaki rider known as the “Mad Hungarian” (Harvey Jason, The Lost World: Jurassic Park) as his stunt double engages in some truly impressive work.

But the racing scenes primarily center around Bannon and Smith (and Franco), because truthfully, any racing aficionado watching this flick wants to see the Cobra and the Ferrari going head-to-head. And Gumball Rally doesn’t disappoint, as the two cars take it down to the wire through the Los Angeles River and right into the Long Beach harbor. Less jokey than The Cannonball Run, but far less serious than Cannonball, Gumball Rally strikes a nice balance with likable characters, fun racing bits and some truly dazzling cars.

Catch it for the cars, for the humor, or just because you want to see how cool Raul Julia looks in an Italian overcoat.

*The Cannonball Run finally hit theaters five years later, in the Summer of 1981. It’s notable for being the second American-made Jackie Chan film, after The Big Brawl.

**Honestly, the most realistic scene in the movie.

Intermission!

• “Franco is ready. The race can begin.”
• Yeah, Franco was never going to use that rear view mirror anyway.
• I’d buy a white scarf like Franco’s, but if I tried to flip it around as casually as he does I’d accidentally hang myself from a ceiling fan.
• That hot rod does look like a jukebox.
• “I am going to mark you, with the Gumball curse!”
• Squirt squirt squirt.
• “Now you are marked! For life!”
• Franco pulls out the steering column with disturbing ease. Do not make Franco angry.
• Bannon knows Franco’s one weakness. To be fair, everyone knows Franco’s one weakness.