“I prefer to drive myself.”

Justin’s rating: Donut lecture me, movie

Justin’s review: So back in 2014, I bought a DVD pack that came with 12 (!) ’70s and ’80s comedies from Crown International Pictures with the intent of reviewing all of them. I made it through one — Jocks — and gave up on the project, although a few more of these titles did trickle onto Mutant Reviewers in the years since. However, a recent effort to organize my movie collection unearthed this DVD set, and I found new inspiration to plow through the remainder of these.

So let’s start with 1985’s Tomboy, which I think is the only one that I know from reputation. It stars Betsy Russell (Cheerleader Camp) as Tommy, the mechanic daughter of an astronaut who has aspirations of stock car racing. She’s definitely All Girl but has a rough-and-tumble edge, riding motorcycles, wearing leather jackets, playing basketball, welding, and (of course) working on cars. If anything, it makes her more desirable, because nothing is more attractive than competence.

She’s also got the hots for Randy Starr (Gerard Christopher, Superboy in the ’89 series), a stock car racer who’s famous enough to get his own full-sized poster. It’s too bad that Randy is a raging misogynist who’s offended at a guh-guh-GIRL being on the race circuit. I guess they’re going for a love/hate relationship, but this never finds a good balance and is the weakest point of this movie’s foundation.

Not that this film is a deep feminist statement or anything, but Tomboy does take a stab at defying stereotypes with a lead character who doesn’t fit in nice, neat categories. “It’s not just a man’s world anymore!” the poster exclaims. Apparently, it takes a dirt bike-riding grease monkey to break through that glass ceiling.

The end race includes Tommy’s souped-up car that boasts some “hi-tech” modifications. Hey, this was the ’80s. Slap a computer on anything, and it was capable of time travel, sonic booms, and replicating a woman from scratch.

Meanwhile over in subplot land, Tommy’s best friend Seville (Seville?) is trying to land a commercial acting gig. Mostly, this is here to provide some filler and a four-minute music video that topped zero charts in its day. Also, at one point, she wears a dress made of actual donuts.

I read in a comments section about Tomboy where someone said, “I had totally forgotten the casual attitude toward nudity that the ’80s had in movies.” And that struck me as pretty true. Sure, there are plenty of modern movies that show skin, but it’s almost always in a highly sexualized context. The ’80s, on the other hand, simply liked to throw in random scenes where people are talking or doing dishes, just without the approved level of clothes.

So yeah, Tomboy has a spat of very random nudity, which is pretty standard for these low-budget studios trying to pack in theaters in the pre-internet era. This clashes with the tone of what’s otherwise a bland PG movie.

There’s some charm and general ’80s levity here. Betsy Russell does a fine job being likable and filling the role of many a teenage boy’s crush, but she’s held back by a script that doesn’t do that much or bring enough comedy to bear. Montages, though, it’s got montages. It is plenty weird at times with inexplicable moments or lines (what is up with the finger sucking?), and that oddity coupled with the off-kilter girl power theme helps to keep this from extreme mediocrity.

Intermission!

• Tomboy made $14 million off a $2 million budget, which is pretty darn good
• Slow-mo hazy cheering to soft synth will certainly rope in your viewers from the very start!
• Why pour shampoo directly into your eyes?
• The Tomboy logo with the wrench and nut is nifty — as is the main theme song
• Making a basket from your motorcycle will make the guys slow-mo high-five
• Did her friend really give her perfume for her lady parts?
• “You don’t look to me like a career move, Harold.”
• This camera is a weird pervert sometimes
• So much spandex in this dance studio
• Wait, is this a full-blown music video now? Are we just killing time?
• What’s up with the men’s showers being connected to the women’s showers?
• Severe tire damage in slow-mo
• I don’t think a donut commercial needs a burlesque dance, but what do I know
• THE DONUT DRESS
• She was paid in donuts? That’s not legal.
• She kisses his toes? Ew? Why? Ew.
• Is every montage in this movie done in slow-mo and set to a completely forgettable pop song?
• Casual sexual assault on the dance floor
• OK this guy needs to stop sucking on people’s fingers because it’s making me SO UNCOMFORTABLE
• This party scene is packed with so much weirdness, including boxing foreplay
• For a girl who just took her shirt off in front of a guy for no reason, it does seem odd that Tommy is offended by a lewd movie on the TV
• “I’ve never met anyone like you. I just don’t know how to turn you on.”
• The finger-sucking rich guy here is Eric Douglas, Michael’s half-brother
• Don’t rip her shirt, you’ll have to buy her a new one
• Every ’80s dating montage was legally obligated to include minigolf and a trip to the waterpark
• “I know damn well what he means.”
• Car-fixing montage!
• Cheesy lightning strike… why?
• Haha she has afterburners on her car like Batman
• “She’s a road runner / She’s a tail gunner! TOMBOY!”