“If you don’t mind, I’d like to plan on remembering you two as if you were my kids. The kids I never had.”

Justin’s rating: A G-rated miracle

Justin’s review: It feels a little odd to me that Escape to Witch Mountain became a franchise, nevermind one that’s continuing through today. The original was a quirky Disney adventure that saw some play in our house because it did have some scifi elements and a smarter-than-expected story. But I always thought it a one-and-done affair, not knowing as a kid that it spawned two sequels in ’78 and ’82. Maybe I missed those on the Wonderful World of Disney?

What made this a surprise box office hit was a combination of three pretty cool ideas: a manhunt, psychic powers, and aliens. Witch Mountain features a pair of orphans — Tony and Tia — who can’t remember much about their past and find themselves at odds with the other kids at the orphanage as they keep X-Mening out. Tony has the ability to move objects — including himself — and can enhance his powers by using a harmonica. Tia gets more of a hodge-podge of abilities: She can talk telepathically, receive premonition of future, speak to creatures (especially her cat), and move stuff with her mind to a lesser degree.

But using their powers so brazenly ends up getting the attention of a rich lunatic name Bolt (Donald Pleasence, Halloween) who’s obsessed with the occult. He sends his minions after them, and a cross-country chase begins. The kids have one objective: To get to a place called Witch Mountain that’s highlighted on a map that Tia’s been carrying around since she was three. Suffice to say, these kids’ powers might have extra-terrestrial origins — but I won’t spoil it more than that.

It’s always a great idea to pack in several great ideas rather than one when you’re trying to craft a good story. Escape to Witch Mountain dumps us right in the middle of these ideas and then has a great time exploring them while an adventure unfolds. Unlike a lot of Disney movies, the kids aren’t played as crackerjack witty rascals. Rather, they’re played more straight as a brother-and-sister pair who look out for each other and combine their powers to escape Bolt’s forces.

Although considering that these orphans are given a gigantic set of opulent rooms stuffed with toys and all the ice cream they’d ever want, you question why they would want to escape. It’s as if Annie spent her whole time at Daddy Warbucks trying to get out of luxury as fast as possible. Granted, they’re in a cushy prison, but it’s not like they know of anything better on the outside.

You can see why the filmmakers went with this selection of powers, as they were the easiest to portray without having to dip into a lot of expensive special effects work. I mean, I would’ve loved to see Tony blast his enemies with Cyclops’ optic blast or Tia wield purple psionic daggers, but you get what you get with mid-70s budgets.

And for what it’s worth, I thought the use of psychic powers were well-done and rather extensive. The kids get to use them a lot to confound the big bad adults in a variety of fun ways. They also make friends with a crotchety old guy who helps them get to their goal.

One detractor to this film is the soundtrack, which is old school Disney heavy-on-the-oboe fare. It leeches some of the inherent excitement and tension of this story by laying down a score that sounds, frankly, dopey. That might be fine for a Parent Trap summer camp, but it holds this film back, especially to any modern viewers.

Overall, however, Escape to Witch Mountain holds up rather well for what it is, and I can see why sequels emerged despite the ending being a perfect capstone.

Intermission!

• The silhouette opening credits are neat in a Fugitive way
• Yes, let me look at your obviously ALIEN purse
• They make the kids fill out entrance forms to an orphanage?
• Punching a kid with a psychically controlled catcher’s mitt is pretty funny
• Of course they go see Disney’s Snow White in the theaters
• Ice cream is good after a kidnapping
• They even made a room for the cat? How long did all this take?
• “There are some very bad men after us. Go get them.”
• “Sir? The engine will start now.”