“Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn’t beat that cancer. I really do.”

Justin’s rating: 10 cents can buy you an adventure you’ll never forget

Justin’s review: I don’t think I’m alone in having gone through a period of my youth where I was convinced that “boy detective” was a legitimate career path. From Scooby Doo to the Hardy Boys to Encyclopedia Brown, it was apparent that there were all sorts of rather tame mysteries (usually involving ghosts and buried treasure) that needed to be solved, and only determined kids were up to the task.*

Sketch group Derrick Comedy took this idea and played it out even further: What if a trio of kids who loved playing detective never stopped well into their teen years, even when it went from being cute to cringy and mildly disturbing and the whole town kind of looks down on them? And what if they actually had to handle a real case that involved murder instead of stolen pies?

The titular Mystery Team is Jason (Donald Glover, Solo) the master of disguises; Duncan (DC Pierson, Community) as the boy genius; and Charlie (Dominic Dierkes, Workaholics), the strongest kid in town. Suffice to say, none of them are very good at the one thing they think they’re amazing at. Jason’s disguises are painfully obvious, Charlie isn’t that athletic, and Duncan only knows useless trivia from a fact book he memorized. Yet their enthusiasm is contagious, and I found them incredibly likable.

Still, you shouldn’t set your standards too high for a trio that actually totes around oversized magnifying glasses, old fashioned bikes, and those classic nine-volt walkie-talkies.

Seeing as how everyone’s either laughing or yelling at them, the Mystery Team eagerly wants to prove that they’re all that and a bag of chips before they graduate high school. Their big chance comes when a little girl pays them a dime to figure out who killed her parents. The girl’s older sister, Kelly (Aubrey Plaza, Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever) becomes a reluctant ally because of her prior interest in forensic science.

In their fumbling, bumbling, completely awkward fashion, the Mystery Team make surprising headway on the twisty-turny case. In the absolutely weirdest way possible, this ends up being a coming-of-age story for these three, because this case dunks them right into the adult world of murder, drugs, sex, and harsh language — and sees if their naive attitudes can cope with it. Probably not.

It’s a little hard to explain, but goofy premises like this require a movie to get a certain balance right. It’s got to balance the weirdness with charm and humor without tipping too far into crassness. This was my #1 question I wanted answered with Mystery Team, because I knew that’s what was going to make or break this film.

And I would testify that these filmmakers walk that line fairly well. Yes, it can be pretty vulgar in spots, but the majority is simply smartly written and hilariously acted. Glover, Pierson, and Dierkes have been pals since college, and their chemistry shines together as they play childishness to the hilt.

I loved the attention to detail of all the little things that kid detectives would actually create and surround themselves with. This truly became an unexpected flashback to when I was in third grade and formed a group called The Three Investigators, with secret codes and crime kits. It was everything we thought was neat-o, and you can see that the Mystery Team thinks so too — and has never lost the taste for this type of adventure.

Full of gut-busting laughs, over-the-top silliness, half the cast of NBC’s sitcoms from the 2010s, and amazing quotes (read below), Mystery Team is worth tracking down and solving… by watching… it.

*Incidentally, this is probably why 35% of children who grew up in the ’80s disappeared, usually exploring some abandoned underground salt mine that used to be a base for pirates or investigating the swamp monster of Hooligan’s Bog.

Intermission!

• “Grownups? Houses? This is great!”
• “Oh, we’re laughing!”
• I love that adorable little “pull string” sign
• Jason’s little kid disguise has a beanie and and oversized lolli
• “If any teachers ask where Eric went, tell them three grownups took him off the playground to teach him a lesson about sticking his finger in things!”
• He wanted the car keys… to get his bike
• “There go three virgins.”
• Duncan’s giant TRIVIA CORNER in the yearbook had me rolling (there’s an answer key in the back)
• “When I look at you, it feels like my body’s smiling, you know?”
• “That’s why we won’t tell the police.” “Oh no, now you sound like dad.”
• When it’s a murder, you look at older suspects. Grades 4-6, mostly.
• Don’t play good cop/bad cop with a little girl
• “Someone stole that guy’s face!”
• The Wandering Tramp looks like a great read
• “You mean trash?” “Charlie, respect their culture!”
• “We should thank the hobo so he doesn’t put a curse on us!”
• “According to his shirt, he has no fear!”
• Dang those are serious high hats
• “Will there be bear baiting?” “England!”
• “They’re like pigeons!”
• “The stage is wet, it smells like cold cuts!”
• “I drank dog pee over this!” “That was your choice.”
• Chocolate milk is the only drink
• “Looks like we have a long night of cocaine ahead of us.”
• “With the market the way things are, it’s better to rent cocaine.”
• Travel Scrabble makes every drug dealer den a fun place to be
• Also travel Monopoly
• “This is how my clown dream starts, and not the good one.”
• “Two dead bodies! That’s my limit!”
• “We visited colleges together!” “I thought that was part of a mystery!”
• “Most of her pies are filled with soap.”
• “Spill it, skillet!”
• “If life was fair, I would’ve gotten a new bike for my birthday instead of that stupid car.”
• “He blew into my mouth.”
• Firecracker to the FACE. “I hope those were baby teeth.”