“I’ll let the universe move your stuff.”

Justin’s rating: HBO back before it was Game of Thronsing everything

Justin’s review: It’s a little hard to explain why I gravitate pretty hard to obscure ’80s comedies, especially when they don’t rank anywhere near as high as the classics on anyone’s list. I guess it’s because they offer a comforting throwback where I’m guaranteed to vibe on the era even if the story, characters, and jokes aren’t that great.

This brings me to Odd Jobs, a 1986 Paul Reiser (Aliens) flick where he starts a moving business and finds himself in direct competition with the mob. I mean, who says that organized crime doesn’t work hard? It’s not easy paychecks with that group, no sir.

Reiser stars as Max, a 30-year-old “college student” who pulls together his four best friends to help him start up a moving business over the summer. There’s level-headed Dwight (Robert Townshend, Meteor Man), neurotic Roy (Richard Overton, Young Doctors in Love), bumbling racist Byron (Northern Exposure), and mullet womanizer Woody (Scott McGinnis).

After working a number of — title! — odd jobs, the group comes together to form Maximum Moving, only to find that the mafia has cornered the business in the town and aren’t happy with anyone trying to move in on their racket. So to drum up some work, the crew basically frightens homeowners into moving. These are the good guys, mind you.

Max also tries to reconnect with his old flame Sally (Julianne Phillips, Fletch Lives) who’s kind of seeing a masterwork of humanity named Spud (MacGuyver himself, Richard Dean Anderson). I couldn’t stop snickering at Anderson trying to pull off a lunkhead yuppie instead of, say, fashioning a bomb out of a Teddy Ruxpin and a salt shaker.

I would be remiss not to report that Reiser also narrates the entire film as if he’s telling it to an interviewer with all of his (unseen) friends offering color commentary on the side. It doesn’t really add anything other than fill in some expositional gaps.

Despite Odd Jobs being PG-13, it’s pretty dedicated to pulling out the offensive stops in ways you might not expect. I usually give the ’80s some leeway for being a different time and all that, but I don’t doubt that this movie made people wince even back then for some of its references and attitudes. Seeing Byron trying to connect to Dwight’s family by acting as insultingly racist as possible, for example, needed another pass around the writer’s table and right into the trash.

Another unfortunately big problem here is that it takes 43 minutes — of a 90-minute movie — of long meandering to finally get to the guys’ moving company. Which is, I point out, the main plot. Even the Ghostbusters got their act together far faster than this, and they had to build proton packs before getting on the job.

These drawbacks are a shame, because they’re likely to be dealbreakers for a movie that does have a smattering of genuinely good jokes and a goofy spirit. I think this HBO Pictures presentation was trying too hard to be risque and lowbrow when it should’ve simply been nicer and let its talented cast carry the comedy more.

The slurs and the sloppiness make Odd Jobs anything but a comfort watch. This is a pretty hard skip unless you’re a huge fan of any of these actors. And even then… it’s still a skip.

Intermission!

• No expense was spared with that title screen
• DINOSAUR BATTLE! “…that’s too far back.”
• Don’t french a girl when you’re chewing on a toothpick
• Skiing down the stairs doesn’t look safe
• “I was stuck on the cul-de-sac of life.” “That’s too many expressions, Roy.”
• Your dad rolling in on a tank is perfectly normal. “So will you be kicking commie ass?” “You idiot, it’s nighttime!”
• “He’s majoring in black studies program at our school.”
• God’s favorite vacuum cleaner: Suck it up for Jesus
• Can’t open some champagne? Just smash the neck on the table. Put a napkin over it.
• “This here is Earl, he’s my cousin and my brother and my husband.”
• It’s a nuclear vacuum cleaner!
• The slow-mo golf swing and results
• Spud is an amateur magician
• “Will you please just shut. Up. Dude.”
• Close up on dog kisses, ew
• “My children can probably come out in a jello mold now.”
• Blows up the vacuum cleaner… and makes a mushroom cloud
• “I actually have more chest hair, I just brought a little.”
• All the tags all over the lady’s house
• Didn’t think they’d rip the desk in two
• Here’s some rap while racist stereotypes play out!
• Pianos can batter right through walls and into swimming pools. “That’s not where he wanted it.”