“In six weeks I’ll be makin’ $6.50 an hour!”

Drake’s rating: I really want that Camaro

Drake’s review: I admit, I have a weird history with this flick. I first saw it when I was around 10, and I went in solely for the cars. I mean, a movie about a guy in a cherry red ‘68 Camaro tearing around Van Nuys Boulevard? And not just any guy, but that guy from American Graffiti? Yeah, sign me up!

So, THAT movie lasts about ten minutes. The first ten minutes. Then we’re done with the street racing and into the remainder of the flick and poor 10-year-old Drake was a sad little Mutant. But I did learn that sometimes movie trailers are packed with all of the best stuff the movie has to offer, the better to get those tickets sold and those theater seats filled. What is the rest of the movie about, you may ask?

Well, Aloha, Bobby & Rose is one of those movies Justin has dutifully warned you of. You all know the ones I’m talking about. Those ‘70s movies with their ‘70s hair and their ‘70s music and their depressingly ‘70s endings.

Bobby (Paul Le Mat, More American Graffiti) is a part-time mechanic and a full-time slacker. He spends his time playing pool and tearing around in his ‘68 Camaro with his best friend Moxey (Robert Carradine, The Long Riders). Then he meets Rose (Dianne Hull, Christmas Evil) when he drops her car off, and they go on a date. All is well until they go to a liquor store and Bobby does one of the most insanely stupid things I’ve ever seen a movie character do (and remember, I’ve seen more than my share of low budget trash cinema): He pretends to have a gun and playfully fakes a robbery at the liquor store.

Now you might be wondering, is this a thing people did in the 1970s? Was it some sort of fad? Did you get out of your EST class, strap on your platform shoes, and waltz into a convenience store to fake an armed robbery?

I am here to tell you NO! Absolutely not! That was not a thing!

That little prank goes horribly, horribly (and also predictably) wrong. Bobby and Rose are soon on the run, which is probably not the culmination to their first date that either one had planned. But Rose has a young son and can’t leave him behind, so the couple meander down to Tijuana and back again, and make plans to get out of Los Angeles. But we all know that’s not going to happen, because this is 1975 and this is one of those “young outlaws in love” movies that never had a happy ending.

OK, I didn’t know all that when I was 10. But I did know that the ending was kind of a bummer, man.

Honestly, Aloha, Bobby & Rose is a pretty good movie, although it is very much a movie of its time. Paul Le Mat and Dianne Hull definitely have good screen chemistry, and the contemporary soundtrack keeps the film moving when it might otherwise stall out. On top of that, it’s a real time capsule of what things looked and sounded like in 1975, right before the Bicentennial and disco and Star Wars defined the latter half of the decade.

The crux of the problem comes back to Bobby’s incredibly stupid actions, because the main plot of the movie develops from that. And that “prank” is so unbelievable as to be distracting, which then lessens the dramatic impact of the scenes that follow. We need to care about Bobby so we care about what happens to him, but the movie is really relying on the hope that we care about Paul Le Mat instead, since Bobby is something of a lunkhead.

Still, despite some serious story issues, if you’re in the mood for a flick dripping in ‘70s style, Aloha, Bobby & Rose is a pretty good pick. If you want to see and hear what the middle part of that decade was like, grab your pet rock, settle into your Naugahyde recliner and take a gander.

Or you can just check out the trailer. That’ll fill you in on all the good parts.

Intermission!

• Dude! You’re in a pool hall bathroom! Wash your hands!
• Pool hall tip #1: Don’t play for money if you don’t actually have the money.
• And never try to stiff Edward James Olmos.
• Leaving your kid alone in the car. Yep, it’s the ‘70s. Parents would also leave us alone at home, where we stayed up too late and watched movies like Aloha, Bobby & Rose.
• Here’s the other part of my weird history with this flick: A decade or so back my wife was trying to remember a movie. She described a few things about it, and I said, “Oh, yeah. That’s Aloha, Bobby & Rose.” She didn’t remember ever seeing it, but I knew that was it from her description. I dug up a copy on DVD and we watched it. She then said, “I’ve never seen this movie.” So we watched the trailer and that was what she remembered, from going to a drive-in with her parents. So, yeah, that trailer was definitely memorable.