“No, Laura. I just forgot the number to 911!”

Justin’s rating: Dashing through the woods, in the one-wagon Chevrolet

Justin’s review: At one time or another, most of us found ourselves turning down a wrong road while we were driving. Depending on the road in question, this can become an instantly unsettling experience, especially if you get a bit lost deciding to plow through rather than heading back. But what if there was no going back? What if this road took you somewhere else completely, with signs that became more ominous as you progressed?

That deliciously eerie scenario is the premise for the underrated Dead End. It’s Christmas Eve, and a four-member family are driving at night to the wife’s mother’s house. But instead of going the usual route, Frank (Ray Wise, Twin Peaks) elects for a shortcut. This is a bad, bad impulse decision, because it sends the family station wagon down an unescapable road into some sort of hellish dimension.

The uncertainty of this road is exacerbated by some simmering tension in the car. Ray and his wife Laura (Lin Shaye, Critters) keep sniping at each other, daughter Marion is secretly pregnant, and son Richard is a sarcastic jerk to everyone, especially Marion’s boyfriend Brad. Some of this adds humor to this tongue-in-cheek tale, but mostly it made me want to get out of the car — even if something was out there.

Curious things begin happening as they drive down this endless stretch. They come across a cut-up woman with a dead baby who seems even more lost than they are. There’s wailing coming from the other end of the cell phone. All clocks have stopped. There’s a black hearse cruising by that’s scooping up people. And of course there’s a foreboding cabin in the woods.

Dead End capitalizes on the inherent creepiness of driving at night with only your headlights to illuminate small patches in front of you. You absolutely imagine the worst coming out of that darkness at you. And this movie seems to delight in keeping the viewer off-balance. Sometimes it’s jump scares or unexpected visuals, but sometimes it’s as simple as changing up the soundtrack to include a few seconds of something very peppy before being quiet again.

Things happen to this family, and they aren’t good things. But instead of making this some sort of slasher or backwoods killer scenario, Dead End is more of a supernatural horror that’s more interested in generating Stephen King vibes. As external events happen, the family begins to fall apart — anger, insanity, sarcasm, grief — and one suspects that they’ll never be allowed to leave this road at all.

At least not alive.

The humor here is uneven (as is the acting, to be honest) but appreciated as a relief valve for the tension. But what I couldn’t stand was Richard, the smarmy, sarcastic son who may be one of the most unlikable characters I’ve watched in a long time. It’s not that I wanted anyone here to die, but if someone had to… couldn’t the forest murder spirits take Rich here? Thank you, forest spirits. I owe you one.

What’s bizarre is that for a movie that’s only 84 minutes long, it feels easily twice that with all of the driving-and-talking-and-driving-and-stopping. There’s a lot of repetition here, and it gets old without enough plot development to match.

Dead End was a monster hit, not at the theaters, but for video rentals, raking in over $75M on a $1M budget — again, just for home rentals. That’s weird to me that I never heard of it until relatively recently, but it’s not like I subscribe to Rando Roads Weekly.

The somewhat unique premise and harrowing vibe of this film go a long way to smoothing over its many flaws and Richard’s horrible twerpy attitude. It’s far from perfect — it’s kind of a mess, really — but Dead End is the kind of tale that gets under your skin in all of the best ways. Plus, it’s kind of a Christmas movie to boot! You’ll see what I mean.

Intermission!

• Marylin Bronson is not a singer
• I really did not expect the energy of those opening credits (not complaining though)
• Pumpkin and chocolate pie?
• “Cool, Dad’s tripping out!”
• If you find a cabin with hatchets, bear traps, and dead animals on the walls, maybe don’t stay?
• Poking dead bodies with sticks is a classic first aid move
• Not showing Brad is a great directorial decision
• Baby carriages on the road are not to be trusted
• He microwaved her hamster? As if I didn’t hate this guy enough.
• “What is this forest, the Amazon?”
• Good time to open up Christmas presents
• Richard’s real name is Michael
• “Your brother was burned alive, how can he talk?”
• Shot in the leg? Yeah, let’s go on a long hike through the woods!
• HOW MANY TIMES YOU GONNA STOP THIS CAR?