“Okay, well, you’re dead. Which is unusual, because we don’t normally see this much activity in a dead person.”

Justin’s rating: Sometimes it takes a good death to make you attractive to the living

Justin’s review: How long should you chase an unrequited love? If movies have taught us anything, it’s to take a romantic obsession way, way too far. I mean, if you can’t wallpaper your bathroom with restraining orders, you’re obviously wimping out.

Or you can take a cue from Johnny (Andrew Lowery, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), a dorky guy who’s been hopelessly in love with Missy (Traci Lind, Class of 1999) since he was a kid. Johnny doesn’t give up on Missy — not when she’s rejected him plenty already, not when she keeps getting back with her jock boyfriend, and not when Johnny is shot and killed during a botched robbery.

That’s right, not even the grave can keep our intrepid hero from a date… with DESTINY! Wait, that’s Missy. Anyway! Johnny comes back as a zombie and meets a friendly groundskeeper named Murray who cautions him not to venture outside the graveyard. Which, of course, he does.

It turns out that Johnny is pretty lively for a stiff, and everyone is only slightly astonished at his return and takes it in good stride. However, Missy’s prior promise to take Johnny to the prom — as he lay dying — wasn’t made in good faith, and Johnny has to figure out how to woo her before he literally falls to pieces.

In talking to a neighbor (Cloris Leachman!) who just so happened to be married to a zombie for a while, Johnny learns that every bite he takes of “living flesh” will give him an additional 20 minutes of together-ness. So to get through the prom is going to require an all-you-can-eat buffet — or a special experimental formula from his mad scientist doctor.

Trust me, it’s way more funny than gross.

My Boyfriend’s Back pretty much bombed when it came out, which is why about zero people have heard of it. And as a self-appointed expert in Zombie Filmology, I can tell you that you’re missing out on one heck of a trippy blast of a movie. I was rocking back and forth in delight at how good — and weird — this was.

For starters, you have to understand that this movie absolutely does not take itself seriously. It’s got this comedic surrealism that reminds me of Better Off Dead (which is a good sign!), focusing more on the humor and less on the horror of zombie living. It also is styled like a comic book, with illustrations and page turning transitions popping up here and there.

You’ll also be tripping over so many you-know-that-guys, from Philip Seymour Hoffman to Matthew Fox to Matthew McConaughey to Austin Pendleton, that a first viewing from a modern perspective can be distracting. Hoffman in particular is so strange as a menacing, hunched-over teenage jerk.

The focus on winning his love interest before becoming dead for good creates an atmosphere for a rather sweet romantic tale. Johnny and Missy show some good chemistry together, if only his ear (and nose and hair) would stop falling off and her boyfriend stop bossing her around. I genuinely wanted these two to get together, even if their long-term prospects seemed dim.

I should also mention that Johnny provides a narrative that adds a few extra jokes and keeps the film moving even snappier. In a twisted way, being a zombie provides a metaphor for puberty and teenage angst that’s relatable, so it’s nice to know what’s going on in his head.

Often times you’ll watch an unknown movie from the ’80s or ’90s and go, ah, I get why this was swept into the closet of forgotten films. But once in a while, my friends… once in a while you scrounge up an entry that was unfairly dismissed and rejected despite being really dang good. That’s My Boyfriend’s Back.

It’s hilarious, energetic, charming, and packed full of great characters. It doesn’t hold back from its main character grandly declaring, “You don’t know this, but I ate Chuck for you!” and have it be the most romantic thing ever.

This instantly went on my “must own” list, and I would encourage you to check it out to see if its cold heart has a place in your warm home.

Intermission!

• The original title of this was Johnny Zombie, which sounds utterly awesome.
• Matthew Fox and Matthew McConaughey can claim this as their first film role
• That Touchstone Pictures logo always hits hard
• Cool comic book intro
• “Morning Mrs. Jones! I hope you don’t think ill of me!”
• “Oh I see, I’m dreaming.”
• “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT REGULATION?”
• “Well. That blew ropey goat chunks, didn’t it.”
• “Excuse me, but do you have a gun?” “No.” “THEN SHUT UP.”
• I like the grave POV shot
• “We were convinced you were dead.” “I got better.”
• Yeah, go ahead and poke that bullet hole
• “I think it’s great you’re back from the dead and all, but I’ve got gym.”
• “It was just going to be a little bite…!”
• “You’re afraid of what people might say about you. Behind your back, there goes Missy and the dead kid!”
• “We’re watching you dead boy! We don’t like your kind, you’re stinking up the whole school!”
• If you’re a zombie, take your date to a zombie movie!
• “There’s something wonderful happening in your mouth, right?”
• “There’s a lot of prejudice against the undead.”
• She just bit his ear off! “Here, take your ear!”
• Medical montage!
• “I haven’t talked about zombies for a long, long time.”
• One bite of flesh = 20 more minutes of undead life
• “What kind of friggin’ nut are you to tell me to go out and eat people?”
• The dismembered action figure, nice foreshadowing
• HE JUST SNEEZED HIS NOSE OFF
• Apparently you can axe yourself in the head if your backswing is too strong
• “Colleges look at this sort of thing!”
• “How could you? You ate Chuck!”
• “Oh hi, son. Did you by chance murder a boy in school today?”
• Haha his parents kidnapped a child for Johnny to eat
• “What are you doing with my one remaining son?”
• Mom on the shotgun!
• The mom enabling her son’s flesh-eating habits is hilarious
• The skeleton with the head on it
• The de-chickener!
• “God, I hate that guy.” “Eat him, eat him quick.”
• That’s the worst prom banner I’ve ever seen
• About time we had a torch-wielding mob in this movie