“You’re not boring, I’ll give you that.”

Justin’s rating: I was in a modern art museum lately. I am probably uncultured swine, because you couldn’t give me any of those pieces for free to keep.

Justin’s review: The crash-and-burn of director John McTiernan after the turn of the century remains one of the most heartbreaking developments in Hollywood for me. He had two of his worst-reviewed movies after 2000, did a stint in jail, and then utterly gave up on directing. That’s how it ended.

Yet before that, McTiernan helmed an incredible eight-movie streak from 1987 to 1999 that featured a few of the greatest action and thriller movies ever made. Today, we’ll look at the end of that streak (along with 1999’s The 13th Warrior) in one of his more overlooked titles, The Thomas Crown Affair.

McTiernan took the 1968 classic of the same name starring Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway and smoothly brought it into the late ’90s with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo. The Thomas Crown Affair is not a scifi monster movie, or a high-stakes action shootout, or a poker game with submarines but rather a heist movie wrapped around a semi-tragic romance.

Brosnan, well-recognized as the James Bond of the ’90s at this point, stepped into the role of Thomas Crown, a New York City playboy who takes up art thieving as a hobby. Yet his heart is not made of stone, and he falls for the very insurance investigator who’s trying to catch him: Catherine Banning (Russo). Yet despite her suspicions, Catherine is also falling for Thomas and sees him as what was missing from her life. The tension between their romance and natural antagonistic roles makes this film thrum with excitement.

By its description, The Thomas Crown Affair sounds like a dull affair — or one that might only interest, say, lonely middle-aged women looking for an escapist fantasy. But you’d be wrong to assume this, because it means you took your eyes off of the incredible cast, Bill Conti’s score, and — most of all — John McTiernan’s considerable talents. This is a movie for everyone who likes genuinely good movies, and that’s all there is to it.

You’ve got a fun romance between two suave, smart, beautiful people but are never sure if they’re going to let their passions eclipse their job (whatever that may be). You’ve got a crime caper that unfolds in unexpected and interesting ways. You’ve got gorgeous locations, a look at classic art, and even Dennis Leary as a shrewd detective because this is 1999 and he was showing up in a lot of films around then.

It’s also a movie without a mean bone in its body, which I appreciate more than you’d think. The filmmakers aren’t trying to be edgy; they’re trying to make a slick, feel-good experience that plays with the audience as well as entertains them. There’s even a touch of vacation fantasy tucked in for good measure.

Thomas may be the “bad” guy, but he’s charming and likable, and you do get the sense that he’ll die before hurting Catherine. And Catherine may not be the super-smart art thief, but she’s incredibly intelligent and insightful in her own right and more than capable of being a match for her new suitor/suspect. In fact, while Thomas exudes a more one-dimensional character as a gentleman thief, Catherine seems so much more fleshed-out with a sort of giddy ruthlessness as she engages with the chase of the century.

The Thomas Crown Affair reminded me in more than one way of Ocean’s Eleven a few years later — yet this doesn’t get referenced as much as that one, alas. At least McTiernan closed out his streak on a high note, if an unusual one for his filmography.

Intermission!

• The swapping letters of the open credits suggesting swapping out a real painting for a fake one
• “A woman could trust me if her interests were not too contrary to my own.”
• It’s cool Faye Dunaway came back for a role in this!
• The incredible Bill Conti does the score
• “I just like my Haystacks, Bobby.”
• “Have you figured out what you’re going to say to your board when they find out you paid $30 million more than others were offering?”
• Ha, a literal Trojan Horse
• Doing running rolls is most efficient to avoiding cameras
• Thomas’ briefcase is worth tracking — both of them
• Don’t tick off museum guards, they’ve got stun sticks
• He did steal the Monet! And put it in a secret viewing compartment
• “She keeps an apartment. I keep goldfish.”
• I think Catherine spends the first half of this movie constantly drinking various liquids
• “When it’s this much money involved, it usually means I get them someone’s head.”
• Always nice to have your lawyer hang out with you in your house for possible warrants
• “Men make women messy.”
• Those boots are killer.
• “Door is welded. Throw your leg over.”
• The painting in the fire scene is classic
• “I was OK once.”
• This is the worst shrink ever