“There’s gonna be dead toilet bowl cleanser junkies all over the place!”

Justin’s rating: [this rating has magically disappeared]

Justin’s review: You think you know ’80s movies? I mean, you might, but I’ve realized that for most people, saying that just means the popular, well-known flicks. Yet there’s this whole “other ’80s” scene with far more movies than you’d think if you’re willing to scrounge around and broaden your horizons. And it’s down here in the Weird Zone that I found a teen scifi flick from the ’80s that’s gone as translucent as its name: The Invisible Kid. 

Grover (Jay Underwood, Not Quite Human) is a geek outcast who’s absolutely obsessed with finishing his dead father’s secret formula — one that turns the imbiber see-through. By accident, he does just that, earning himself a potion that can make him disappear for up to 30 minutes (less five minutes every time you use it).

Of course, it doesn’t do anything to your clothes, so being buck naked is a necessity if you want to go incognito. You can see the hilarious situations coming a mile away.

With his nerdy best friend, Grover employs invincibility to get revenge on a jock bully, woo the formerly unattainable Cindy (Chynna Phillips, of Wilson and Phillips), win at basketball, find out a conspiracy involving the principal, and make a name for himself at a science convention. Cue scene after scene of basic physical special effects mimicking invisible meddling along with a first-person camera perspective for their secret antics.

There’s also a climax that involves a chicken car wash, multiple invisible people, and just so many characters putting on mascot outfits.

The Invisible Kid mixes together a few common cinematic elements from ’80s geeky teen movies, a kind of dollar store version of, say, Better Off Dead, Teen Wolf, Weird Science, and Real Genius. All good inspirations, to be sure, but if you want to be in their league, you’ve got to show some talent and promise.

Unfortunately, the slapstick, fart jokes, and mugging keeps this flick as shallow as can be. I’d charitably categorize this as standard ’80s kiddy Disney fare — except that this PG movie has a penchant for showing far more male and female nudity than you’d suspect (which would be “none”).

I’m going to go out on a limb by saying this, but you can’t cultivate a fun wholesome vibe in your film while your leads are spying on naked girls in locker rooms and committing light sexual assault. Pick a lane, fellas.

“Shallow” is fine if there are some good jokes and likable characters along the way, but there’s precious little of that here. It’s a curious slice of forgotten ’80s cable, but sadly not worthy of being recalled into active service by a new generation.

Intermission!

• Nerdy kids’ rooms are full of goofy crap and ongoing science experiments even as they sleep. I mean, this checks out.
• And you knew whose house had the wacky inventor dad by all of the gizmos on the lawn
• Mothers are understandably concerned when teenage boys are causing chemical explosions in their bedrooms
• “Geek crossings, watch for geeks!”
• You’d think that Grover would take off the moving slime at some point
• “Oh please sir, don’t eat me, I have a wife and three pickles!”
• “Baxter, this is God, I’m not very happy with you.”
• Wearing trash bags is the latest rage
• Being invisible means that you can toss people a good 10 feet up into the air — repeatedly
• The floating guitar made me laugh
• Bad guys wear sunglasses and bow ties inside
• His mom’s hair is fake so the rest of her goes invisible?
• “You lose it… or you lose your nuts!”
• And here come the principal farting…
• I actually laughed at the nun with the free kittens gag
• …and the cop car covered with feathers and chickens
• What is it with this movie and bear costumes? HOW MANY MASCOT OUTFITS DOES ONE SCHOOL NEED?
• Way to end on a very confusing pigeon reference