“I feel a love bomb approaching!”

Justin’s rating: Put up the top, it’s about to be a weirdstorm out there

Justin’s review: While I’m not usually one to seek out direct-to-video sequels, I will make exceptions for films that actually bring back the main cast and/or continue the story. Mostly, this is out of extreme curiosity — what will these desperate people do for a paycheck?

In the case of Dream a Little Dream 2, it’s the bewilderment that anyone was asking for a sequel to a disjointed movie in which the famous “Two Coreys” really didn’t have much screen time together at all. Will this be another weird body swap movie? There’s only one way to find out!

OK, there are plenty of ways, but I need another review to post, so here goes a little more of my sanity for your sake.

So continuing with the grand cinematic universe of Dream a Little Dream, it’s now six years later and Bobby (Corey Feldman) and Dinger (Corey Haim) are living together in a rather small apartment with Dinger’s sister Rachel (Robin Lively).

Dinger is getting nighttime dream visits from Coleman from the first film, despite (a) it being a completely different guy who looks like a biker, (b) Dingus having pretty much zero interaction with Coleman in the previous installment, and (c) Coleman being deceased.

Dingus (Dinger?) is all about being a Vanilla Ice understudy who works at “Condomania” while Bobby is all about “making the money” at a sunglasses hut. They’re quite the odd couple. This incredible tension comes to a boil the day that a mysterious package arrives with a pair of sunglasses in it. Yes, even more sunglasses. These even factor in dream sequences.

I’ll skip all the mystery and get right to it: These shades allow one person to control the other (it’s a one-way only thing, so there’s a sending pair and a receiving pair, I guess) as long as they’re both wearing them. It also forges an empathic link or somesuch.

So yes, the writers have now created a scenario in which our leads have to wear sunglasses all the time like the cool cats they are. They decide to experiment with the sunglasses (which were partially created by Coleman?) while a hit man and a “super duper sexy” (the quotes are for irony) woman show up trying to steal them.

As with the first film, Dream a Little Dream 2 makes the bizarre choice to keep the Coreys apart for a bulk of the runtime. Here, Dingaling goes to jail and has to access his New Age mantra to talk to dead Coleman, while Bobby handles this riveting sunglasses espionage.

Before delivering a Class A reaming to this film, I’ll give it two morsels of praise. First, Robin Lively is a welcome addition to the cast and actually gives this a bit of charming ’90s flair. I wouldn’t have minded her being the headlining star. Second, this sequel is edited better than the first in that I could actually follow along with all of its scenes.

But no, this is nowhere near a good movie. With Corey Feldman co-producing, he shoves himself way too much into this story, and this is well past the era where he delivered good performances. He’s a sour stuck-up grump for most of this while forcing us to watch his overacting mug, which is as enjoyable as it sounds.

It’s also unforgivable that the movie introduces these mind-controlling sunglasses, and then after one (1) demonstration, never uses them for that purpose. They’re just a MacGuffin to chase after. It could’ve been a Furby for all that they factor into the plot.

Just as how Deet repels mosquitoes, Dream a Little Dream 2 shoves humor as far away as possible. All that’s left is cringe, bad fashion, and the dying gasp of the careers of two Hollywood stars.

Intermission!

• I… did not expect an outright murder so soon
• I kind of dig this opening “Perfect Woman” song
• Freaky B&W dream sequence
• Wait, these guys are still living together? In such a small room, too.
• I see Dingus is going through his Marky Mark phase
• “Eggshells are the best part! Have some!”
• Condomania? There’s a whole store…?
• The sunglasses got their own musical cues
• 15 minutes in, and this movie has Corey Feldman dancing like Michael Jackson again
• Hey it’s a Green Day Dookie poster
• Corey Feldman doing sexy pillow talk is arousing for no one
• “Don’t underestimate the power of a Volkswagen.”
• Ladies and gentlemen, the tiniest pistol in the world