“Well, I can probably get you laid in two weeks, but to locate a non-mutant wife from Pasadena takes some time.”

Justin’s rating: Now who’s clueless?

Justin’s review: When I look at Brendan Fraser and Alicia Silverstone, I feel a genuine gratitude that they livened up the ’90s for me. Clueless, Encino Man, and With Honors were three of the most formative movies of that era for me, and so it’s cool to revisit the movie that brought them together for a fairly original romcom premise.

During the Cold War, a pregnant couple (Christopher Walken and Sissy Spacek) built an elaborate fallout shelter in their back yard. Thinking that a plane crash is an atomic explosion during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the pair flee to their shelter and stay there for three decades, assuming that the above world is a radioactive wasteland.

For these 30 years, they raise a son, Adam (Fraser) in the unchanging atmosphere and culture of the early ’60s. At least it’s a pretty amazing shelter, and at least he’s got loving parents who try to give him the best life a kid could have 20 feet underground. I like how this 25-minute portion frequently shows what’s happening above and below as the decades roll forward.

Eventually, Adam (and his parents) emerge into the overworld… in the late ’90s, ready to experience the worst case of culture shock ever. It’s here that Adam meets Eve (Silverstone), a somewhat jaded (in a ’90s sense) baseball card clerk who befriends this throwback loon and becomes his tour guide for modern civilization.

As the two oh-so-gradually grow closer together, a cult arises around the fallout shelter elevator, double entendres are thrown around, Dave Foley shows up as a gay roommate, Adam drives and swims for the first time, and both the past and the present learn to appreciate each other a bit more. Oh, and there’s a pretty killer alt rock soundtrack that I must own.

The biggest laugh I got was when Eve dashed out of her house to break up Adam and his date. The orchestra swells for this epic moment of romantic confrontation… and then Adam pops out of nowhere and scares the crap out of her while the music crashes to the ground. It really caught me off guard in the best of way.

OK, I know that I said this movie had a “fairly original” premise, but truth be told, it shares some DNA with The Brady Bunch Movie, Pleasantville, Forrest Gump, Elf, Kate & Leopold, Back to the Future, and pretty much every single dang fish-out-of-water story out there.

And nobody does foreign exchange aquatic animals better than a former caveman. Fraser has a lot of fun playing a smart, way-too-nice, and somewhat clueless young adult. His sincerity and willingness to be physically goofy is what endeared him to us — and still does. For Silverstone’s part, while I think she’s too sweet of a person to play a cynic, she’s a lot of fun with her sly sarcasm.

This is an interesting and likable movie, if not particularly daring. I chuckled in a few spots, tapped my toes to the music, rekindled a small crush I used to have on Alicia Silverstone, and revisited the past of a quarter-century ago. Good times.

Intermission!

• Lots of romcoms start with an atomic bomb explosion, right?
• Thank goodness she saved the pot roast
• 35-year automatic locks
• Hot Dr. Pepper!
• Seriously, this is the coolest dang shelter ever made. They even have a fish farm. And a schoolroom.
• Disco makes you dance
• Hearing Christopher Walken talk in Latin AND German is amazing
• How Mom’s Cafe changes over the years
• Calvin emerging in full radioactive gear: “I come in peace!”
• Adam humming and covering his ears
• “I’ve been thinking about it a little. Just these past 15 years or so.”
• The elevator shrine
• “Oh my lucky stars, a Negro!”
• “OH NO POISONOUS GAS, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”
• That’s quite the shopping list
• “Will you please excuse me?” “Gladly.”
• That’s a lot of old, expensive baseball cards
• Adam geeking out over very very old music had me laughing
• “Will you put your hand down!”
• “I think it’s the EYES.”
• This is a great ’90s soundtrack
• I love that he says grace
• “GET OUT!” after driving
• It’s an incredibly young Nathan Fillion!
• “You have very nice ceilings.” “Do I!”
• “I’m clairvoyant, butthead.”
• You have to see baseball to understand it
• “Ladies first! …that was close, Troy.”
• “I seem to have lost my congressional medal of honor around here.”
• Every time Cliff gets punched
• “You’re the psychic. Eve the psychic pimp.”
• The soundtrack faltering when Adam pops out of nowhere
• Eve’s face when Adam blows on her knee is pretty funny
• “Eve, you look plenty healthy to me.”
• “Stop trying to always drive this truck!”
• “Thanks for always being happy.” “Huh?” “Gay.”
• That’s a lot of blurred pictures in the porn shop
• Eve’s ending voiceover doesn’t really work for me