” I just had sex and I’m about to eat NACHOS! IT’S THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!.”

Anthony’s rating: Endlessly rewatchable

Anthony’s review: It never ceases to amaze me how Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe, managed to avoid becoming the kind of cautionary tale too often seen in Hollywood, the kind marvelously deconstructed by Micheal J. Fox in Life With Mickey (or, to a lesser but more hilarious degree, by David Spade in Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star).

By the time the last Potter film wrapped and the dude could no longer hide his disposable razors budget, he had proven all he would ever have to, made more money than 10 Macaulays, and could pretty much do whatever he wanted with the rest of his life. So he did. And it’s been absolutely bonkers to watch in the best of sense.

He’s since played a presumed murderer who sprouts horns, a widowed father who deals with a Victorian ghost, an internet troll with guns drilled into his hands, a corpse who farts, an angel who’s disillusioned — need I say more? It hasn’t all been good (Beast of Burden, oy vey…), but it’s been a hoot to see him have fun picking and biting into roles for the simple sake of enjoying his craft. Yet my personal favorite of his “grown-up” roles was a pretty straightforward one, in a small-budget romantic comedy made in Canada, of all places. And when I say my favorite, I mean I can recite the lyrics of every song in the soundtrack. To ME at least, it very much is a cult favorite.

For YOU lot the film is called What If, as in what if friends were more than friends. Here in Canada, the film’s much better original title The F Word conveys both the wrong idea and the fact that it doesn’t beat around the bush. It’s not a will-they-won’t-they, it’s a YOU KNOW THEY WILL, so just enjoy the friggin’ chemistry between those two and the other two who have yet to top those comedic turns. But we’ll get to THEM in a moment.

Radman plays Wallace, a med school dropout who has yet to mend the broken heart that pushed him away from his chosen profession and into that of… uh. Yeah, he mentions it twice, but his best friend does such a great job of conveying how boring his job description is that I never fully pay attention myself. In any case, it’s a dead-end job that’s a far cry from medical doctor.

During a party at said friend’s place, Wallace meets the timid but cute as a button Chantry (Zoe Kazan) whose ease of connection with him prompts her right off the bat to mention her boyfriend and offer poor Wallace her phone number so they can be friends. Of course he throws it away, but fate takes another swing and finally, with a firm handshake, they both embark on a friendship that makes them both equal parts happy and needing more. When best bro and his bride try to make them see what we all do, their friendship implodes which forces them both to make hard choices.

Signs that I must be getting old is that I was told recently that romcoms were all but dead, and the recent success of one may slowly resurrect the genre. Thing is, a) I hadn’t noticed, b) I don’t know that I would call this one a romantic comedy per se. The beats are there but it feels so… Canadian, in that things are so shy, polite, and considerate between the two that you just wanna hug them both and tell them it’s all gonna be okay. You don’t care there’s no sex scene — and frankly I always welcome the absence of one — because neither of them look like sex starved people do in romcoms. Those always feels more like a lust story than a love one, yet here you don’t want them to get it on, you just enjoy them dancing around the obvious.

The icing on the cake though, and my better half disagrees wholeheartedly because she finds them annoying AF, is the satellite couple, the best friends, played by a then-unknown Adam Driver and Mackenzie Davis. I saw this one way before the Star Wars sequels and I was flabbergasted how wasted Driver’s talents for improv and comedy were when thrown into a galaxy far far away. Same goes for Davis, who since has tried hard as a Solo’s bare torso to carve herself a dramatic career, when her talents for comedy burn so bright they even once compensated for being matched with miss “Resting Bitch Face” herself in a valiant effort at a LGBTQ Christmas comedy (Happiest Season). This movie was my introduction to either, and I pray someone gets wise enough to pair them up again and again.

One thing that chafes me in the movie, and I know I’ll sound whiny but it is dear to me, is the lack of Canadian headliners in a movie set in Toronto and centred mostly on Canadian characters. Don’t get me wrong, I think Rafe Spall is an incredible talent in drama and comedy alike, but did they have to cast him, a Brit, to play a Canuck? Trust me on this, we have funny peeps over here, and talented actors, case in point is that every show on the CW and SyFy and other channels or streamers are filmed here and employ local talent in their main casts. Hell, we gave y’all Deadpool and Captain Kirk, we can give you a run-of-the-mill lawyer easy!

I have said high and low to whomever will listen that The Black Phone is a horror film for people who don’t like horror movies. In the exact same vein, I will pester you all by repeating ad vitam aeternam that The F Word is a romantic comedy for people who don’t care if there’s little of them around anymore. It’s a small, simple but heartfelt movie that I never fail to appreciate no matter how many times I’ve watched it in the past few months alone.

Intermission!

• Fridge Magnet Poetry, you know you wanna!
• When I think animation, I don’t necessarily think Taiwan, but that’s just me.
• I wish MY sister had such a huge house I could live in for free!
• I’ve never ever ever seen The Princess Bride on a big screen and I’m okay with it, always enjoyed it very much on a TV.
• The falling off a window scene, Mwah!
• Okay look, if I choke to almost-death on a specific piece of food, I don’t keep eating it.
• Oona! With… a Spanish accent… for some reason.
• Mental note: Nachos after sex equals great things.
• “I have two!” I bet you do…
• His job must still pay well, I’VE never flown to Europe on a whim!
• Do yourself a favor, don’t look up fool’s gold. Just, let it go.
• What the HELL is that “eat the placenta” fad?!
• Closing song plays in my car every week, awesome for driving.