“I am enough. I deserve happiness. And I take full charge of my life today!”

Flinthart’s review: Okay, sure, yeah – we’re supposed to wait a bunch of years before we review these B-movies so they get the proper patina of age or some such nonsense. But you know what? Renfield wears its B-movie credits like a still-beating heart on its sleeve, and I am completely all right with that.

Director Chris Mackay and screenwriter Ryan Ridley knew exactly where they were going, and they made no mistakes in getting there. Add to that the fact that they got Nicholas Cage to play the indefatigable Count Dracula with Cage’s legendary, scenery-chewing manic energy, and there was never a chance this film was going to the Oscars. But I’ll tell you this: it’s plenty of fun. So why the hell should I wait? It’s a B-movie right now, and a very nice example of the species.

Before I get to the meat of the work, I’m just going to unpack a couple more things. First, Universal got involved with this. I mean, I think Drac is still their IP, though honestly I’m not sure. And secondly, it’s very clear that Nic Cage has a special place in his heart for Bela Lugosi and his iconic portrait of The Count. The visual references — lighting, costume, delivery of lines, gestures — they’re genuinely respectful and even kind of touching. They go so far as to work in a flashback early in the piece, shot in black-and-white with styling, lighting, framing, and even on-screen aspect ratio which absolutely harks back to the original Lugosi flick.

You have to admire and appreciate that kind of willingness to honour the old school.

Now, the movie itself? Well, in modern-day New Orleans, poor Renfield (ever-doomed to be the Count’s familiar) is doing what he always does: finding victims for the boss, setting up a nice, secure lair, and making sure nothing untoward happens during daylight hours when the Count is getting some horizontal time in his coffin. But over the decades, Renfield has had a few qualms of conscience, and he’s not inclined to bring back innocents for the Count to chow down on. Nope – Renfield now attends self-help groups for people in co-dependent relationships with abusive partners, and with the help of some Dracula-supplied superpowers (invoked by eating bugs) he’s making those abusers into tasty Vamp Chowder.

But it all goes wrong when the latest abusive partner turns out to have stolen a pile of cocaine from the Lobos of New Orleans, the city’s most feared drug gang. While trying to bring home snacks to Drac, Renfield gets tangled up with the son of the Big Mama Boss of the Lobos, and in short order finds himself dragged into the B-story… which is about straight-shooting beat cop Rebecca Somebody-Or-Another (Awkwafina) trying to bring down the Lobos because her cop father got murdered by them, yep.

Look – in terms of storytelling, it’s all pretty much by the numbers. The beats happen where you expect, and the tale unfolds at the right sort of pace. There’s no experimental, challenging cinema here… and nor should there be. This is a gleeful mix of horror and comedy, and the story is simply the canvas upon which a joyful spray of gore, action, and genuinely funny moments are splashed as though Jackson Pollock had a massive nose-bleed during hay-fever season. Sharp action sequences are further enhanced by excellent VFX work, the dialogue hits the right notes and all in all the movie’s a lot of fun.

Particular applause goes to Nicholaus Hoult as a self-deprecating, underconfident Renfield who gradually comes to realise that he is, yes, in a fully co-dependent relationship with a monstrous narcissist. Meanwhile that self-same monster is played wonderfully by Nicholas Cage himself, bringing his best Lugosi to the screen and adding a touch of his own wild-eyed lunacy to the role. When either of them are doing their thing, the movie’s good – but when they’re working together (or in opposition!) it’s at its very best.

I won’t lay out the storyline in detail. Let’s just say that by the end, the Count is as dead as he ever gets, Awkwafina’s character takes down the gangsters, and Renfield more or less redeems himself – all of which is as it should be. The storytelling takes a few liberties with the Dracula lore in the process, but again: that lore has been bent, twisted, and revised (dare I say revamped?) so often down the decades that the idiosyncrasies of this version of Drac are hardly worth noticing. It’s all good fun.

Best of all, the whole co-dependent/narcissist thing really works. It’s a nifty lens through which to re-envision the Renfield/Dracula thing. It allows the film-makers to poke fun both at the modern self-help and self-actualization movements, but it also puts a new and oddly believable spin on a relationship which has been depicted so many times that I can’t keep track. There’s another layer of comedy played out there; a little sly commentary on the state of human relationships in the world we’ve created for themselves – and that also is fun to see.

The final verdict? Grab a few buddies. Get the snacks in order. Maybe make a pitcher of Bloody Marys, just for the fun of it – and kick back. Understand you’re seeing a light comedy with a heaping of action and gore, and you’ll have a fine time. I’m giving it four out of five amusingly pointy dental prostheses.

Intermission!

• Actually… that codependency thing is surprisingly insightful.
• ‘The man cuts out people’s tongues with a hunting knife. YOU tell him his name is racist!’
• Love the flying head-splat on the car window sequence!
• ‘I got a prescription for this shit!’
• ‘Is he throwing drugs at us?’ ‘Yes!’
• ‘I want… happy couples. Unsuspecting tourists. A handful of nuns. A busload of cheerleaders!’
• ‘You know it’s not the gender I’m concerned with. I’ll eat boys! I’ll eat girls!’
• Bar-fight/massacre with Dracula powers!
• Oh… gross. Renfield’s new flat! And… that sweater? Gaahhh!
• ‘I don’t want your murder cookies!’
• Huh. A cocaine-powder circle of protection. Nice!
• Oooh! They’re really going to town on Drac there. And is that… concrete?