“Mul-ti-pass!”

ZombieDog’s rating: We bumped into each other, sparks happen…

ZombieDog’s review: My definition of a guilty pleasure movie is one that you don’t give a crap about the errors that it contains, and that it effortlessly takes you into its world no matter how many times you see it. For me this movie is without question The Fifth Element.

Since I’ve been writing reviews for the site, I’ve been avoiding movies that have already been done. I’ve been doing this for a variety of reasons, but I recently saw some interesting dynamics take place when multiple views were expressed. I can’t imagine doing this very often, I just wanted to write about a movie that is really important to me. It’s not great cinema and not even great sci-fi, it is tremendously entertaining.

The Fifth Element, directed by Luc Besson, predominately uses two classic storylines — good versus evil, and boy gets girl — thrown into a blender to great effect. In the 23rd century, something has broken through into our galaxy and is trying to make its presence known. All attempts to stop it have failed, and the battle finds its way to an unsuspecting hero (Korben Dallas, played by Bruce Willis). The forces of good though are not caught by surprise and have prepared for this event by delivering the universe a very powerful weapon in the form of a sexy supermodel (Leeloo, portrayed by Milla Jovovich). They must race against time to join forces, assemble the weapon, and defeat evil.

This is obviously a cookie-cutter description of the plot. In order to really talk about this movie you have to talk about its director, Luc Besson. Besson holds a very special place in my heart because he was one of the directors that first exposed me to not only independent cinema but unique cinema also. The first film of his that I watched was Le Dernier Combat AKA The Last Battle (1983). That film was shot entirely in black-and-white, containing no dialogue except for two words. This was his first full-length motion picture, and right out of the gate Besson showed his ability to create an entirely self-contained universe filled with well-defined characters.

A quick note here on French cinema. In a phrase, “It’s different.” The French believe that they’re going to do it their way — whether you like it or not. They’re very protective and embracing of their own culture. This comes through some movies with ideas that may not fully translate. I’ve been a lover of movies since my early teens and have watched many French films. In almost all of them you will hit several WTF moments that you will have to let just slide. The reward is almost always a remarkable vision by gifted directors.

Besson, is a remarkable cinematic force and has affected global cinema whether you’re aware of it or not. You can find a lot of female empowerment in such films as Point of No Return (1993), Angel-A (2005), and Lucy (2014). His action films include The Transporter series (2002-2015) starring Jason Statham, Taken series (2008-2014) starring Liam Neeson, and the movie were talking about today, The Fifth Element. This is only representative of a small part of his CV.

I wanted take the time to give a little bit of background on the director so I could more fully indulge in why I think this movie is not only my guilty pleasure but a wonderful piece of cinema. From the opening scene, we are shown wholly unique designs and characters. Right away the audience is treated to creatures that we are instantly aware are not of this earth. The thought put into character design is obvious. Without knowing it, we are also introduced to a long-standing religion designed simply to protect the planet and to keep the secret. The death in this early scene hammers home the importance of what this group of priests are doing.

Flash-forward to the 23rd century. we see a city that is struggling with environmental decay, chaos, and corruption. Besson creates a world and doesn’t skimp on the details, including Korben Dallas’ tiny apartment, a floating Chinese junk dishing out the daily special, and entire political and economic system in place. Combine this with aliens, interstellar travel, sci-fi tech, and we have a movie that does not look anywhere else than what it has created.

This expectation of the viewer to believe whatever is offered I think is pushed to the limits. For example, when Leeloo escapes from the military facility, she falls through the roof of Korben Dallas’ taxi. This in and of itself is fine, but Korben comes back later as a hero. And as we learn why he was chosen for the mission his commanding officer says, “Three reasons. One: As part of The Elite Special Forces Unit of the Federated Army, you are an expert in the use of all weapons and spacecraft needed for this mission. Two: Of all the members of your unit, you were the most highly decorated. Third, you’re the only one left alive.”

There’s a lot to unpack here, but what it really says is just accept this one thing and go along with it because the ride is worth it. I think this is a tricky problem for a director and even a film watcher. It’s one thing to willfully suspend disbelief, it’s another thing to selectively do it. If you willfully suspend disbelief, then you’re agreeing from the beginning to accept whatever plot points are thrown at you in the spirit of enjoying the film. If you’re selectively doing it, then you’re popping in and out of mentally conscious actions. It’s not that important for a film like this because in the end this isn’t really serious cinema, however it does ask us at times to let ourselves be immersed and that’s what is at risk.

I couldn’t go through talking about this movie without talking about the casting. Strangely enough, this movie is wonderfully cast. We’ve already talked about Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich, however there are so many one other wonderful supporting actors. Gary Oldman puts forth a rather odd yet memorable character. I talked earlier about the WTF moments and his character really embraces a kind of strangeness. I read in interviews that he never really liked the character, whether or not that’s true he plays him to a tee. Brian James (B-movie royalty), Tom Lister Jr. (Deebo, Friday), Ian Holm (The Hobbit and 140 other films) — all these actors are great and have sadly passed. Every one of these actors is almost completely different, although they managed to pull together in such a cohesive way that I can only think it was not only brilliant casting but also visionary directing also.

This movie to me is a deep-fried Snickers bar with powdered sugar on top. I don’t care that there are problems, it always hits the spot. I would be hard-pressed to say exactly why I love this movie; all I know is that it really does feel like a warm blanket on a cold winter night. I don’t feel like am alone on this one, I wanted to talk about this movie because it’s coming up on 25 years old. A quarter-century and it still beloved.

Louise’s rating: Five out of five elements.

Louise’s review: Sci-fi comedy is a rare and beautiful creature which must be cherished. This mad little film is nuzzling its way into my already over-full heart, and I predict it will become a firm favourite. The plot is quite hard to describe, but I shall attempt it:

There is a glowing ball of pure Evil headed for the earth. The Evil is aided by the most hammy, cheesy villain since Ming the Merciless was actually transformed into a scrummy croque monsieur in a deleted scene of Flash, viz. Gary Oldman. The Evil is planning to completely, completely, completely destroy the universe, so why Gary Oldman thinks his own destruction a cause worth helping is never explained. There are some dopey orc-like mercenary aliens who initially aid and abet Gary Oldman, but after he turns on them they become a third party in the war.  

Fortunately, the earth has on its side four magic stones, two priests, and the good robot-duck aliens, who send us Leeloo, a bandage-wearing angel played by Milla Jovovich. The old priest is Ian Holm and the younger priest is King James II (Charlie Creed-Miles). Unfortunately, by breaking out of custody, Leeloo puts herself and her protectors (the priests, and Brooklyn cab driver Bruce Willis) on the wrong side of the law. Half way through the film, everyone realizes they need to go to a floating pleasure resort to retrieve the magic stones from an opera singer, and this introduces a new character, the high-wattage DJ Ruby Rhod.

As stories should, it all ends happily, with a final gag adding a touch of James Bond to the mix. Oh come on, that’s not a spoiler! As if it would end on a bum note, with John McClaine in charge!

It’s funny. Oh, gee whiz is it funny! It is a comedy thriller set in the future, and the future moreover visualized as fun and shiny and neon as a Japanese anime, rather than grim, rainy and dystopian. I can’t wait for the 23rd century, is what I’m saying.

You can put a bone in a microwave-like box, and come out with a whole roast chicken. Chinese food comes to your window and post comes into your hand down a yellow tube. Seemingly anyone can have an audience with the president. Bubble-wrap is an acceptable clothing material. Multi-limbed blue women sing opera. A whole apartment can fit into the space of one room.

The 23rd century is cool, but with a slight naivety to it. Like Leeloo herself — she is a supreme being, but she’s very innocent and needs a bit of love to get her to actually get off her bottom and do some world-saving. The comedic element comes from the outrageousness of the characters and costumes, and also the farcical nature of the plot — old-fashioned stuff where the laughs come from hiding behind doors, mistaken identity and pathetic attempts at deception.

There’s even a bomb.

My favourite characters are the priests, Vito and David (Ian Holm and Charlie Creed-Miles). My least favourite is Ruby Rhod. He annoys me, actually. I rather wish he hadn’t been included. Still, he’s required for Plot, and he’s not so awful that he ruins the picture. In short, Fifth Element: it’s very enjoyable. It will cheer you up. Watch it by yourself. Take it to a movie night and show your friends. Take it to Bad Movie Night, because you can laugh at it as well as with it. It is whack (sp? “wack”?). My heartiest recommendations.

DnaError’s rating: Orange hair = FUN!

DnaError’s review: Popcorn Movie: (n): A movie that may be not an intellectual feast or profound statement, but is damned fun and enjoyable. A movie to eat popcorn to. From the Latin “Popcornus Moveatis.”

The Fifth Element is a perfect popcorn movie. It’s fun, it’s fast-paced, it’s always interesting and exciting without ever being original plot-wise. I really like this movie, it’s a guilty pleasure to enjoy every pulp sci-fi cliché thrown at you. Sure, there is not an original idea in the movie’s pretty little head, but it’s all done so well that you just sit back, enjoy, and shovel popcorn in your mouth.

I guess you want an actual REVIEW. OK then. The Fifth Element is the story of an all-powerful evil that seeks the “the fifth element” that can destroy it. The story cuts from 1914 Egypt where huge aliens in their oddly shaped ships retrieve the other four Elements to the 23rd Century when this dark force manifests itself again and the fifth element must be found.

If it sounds like the plot to a pulp comic or RPG, that’s because it is. The whole movie has the look and feel of an outrageous comic book, including a humorous tone of adventure… this is not a movie that takes itself seriously or for anything more then what it is. Flying cabs zipping under towering buildings, sexy alien chicks, villains named “Zorg,” and a strange pseudo-mysticism around it. While Star Wars was rooted in westerns and space operas, The Fifth Element takes it’s cue from dime store comics and pot boiler sci-fi. It’s as if the writer/director Luc Besson just handed a bunch of copies of Amazing Stories to the art director and said “Make this real.”

And, they did, and did it wonderfully. The visuals in this movie are original and eye-exploding both for realism and creativity. New York City of the 27th century is a beauty to behold — the Jetsons meets Blade Runner meets anime. Later the movie treats the audience to outrageous and wildly imaginative airships and singing alien divas. Sure, the plot often takes a back seat to these stunning sets and CGI, but hot-dang, they are eye candy at it’s best.

The acting fits the movie. Bruce Willis’s put-upon cab driver, Korben Dallas, is believable when surrounded by such insanity. Gary Oldman is having a great time chewing the scenery as Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg, the evil CEO who seems to be Ross Preot on crack (as seen in a scene where he sells a new advanced gun like a used car salesman.) Milla Jovovitch is perky as Leeloo, the gibberish speaking sexy alien who has a bad habit of wearing very little. And “Ruby Rhod” (Chris Tucker), the drag queen/radio host/Howard Stern-meets-speed is gleefully over the top and campy that he steals the scene in the third act.

So, in short, if you like having fun, see this movie. It’s a brightly colored comic book come to life, a visual smorgasbord of detail and wild imagination. The plot, for all its cliché, is damned enjoyable, a world is created in front of your eyes and the pacing is fast and furious, with a lighthearted, never-too-serious mood that keeps it enjoyable and humorous into the last act. And don’t forget the popcorn.

Justin’s rating: Bebop-skittle-do

Justin’s review: French movies are weird. There’s really no way to get around that fact. American movies made by French people in a French style are equally strange. Sure, they get big points for creative sets and looks, but there’s always this thing for dorky hairstyles and a general setting that nobody would take seriously.

The Fifth Element is a French/American hybrid of a film. At first glance, it’s got a lot of the elements (no pun intended, believe you me) that are ever at the forefront of American film: car chases, big explosions, a macho hero that looks a lot like Bruce Willis. But don’t let that fool you: Fifth Element is peppered with bizarre icons that can only be the product of a French imagination (in this case Luc Besson of La Femme Nikita and The Professional).

For instance, the alien and police armor suits are the bulkiest contraptions imaginable, able to easily house a sumo wrestler. The soundtrack is made up of Euro club beats. Fashion statements are made from a lot of transparent and plasticy-looking products. And with the exception of a few recognizable American actors, the rest have a definite oddball feel to them. Not that it’s bad, it’s just… different.

Once again, the Earth is facing destruction. That’s always a statement that invites ridicule, but never has the presentation of disaster been so… awkward. See, there’s a big ball of Evil coming to crash into Earth. Why? Because it’s evil!

The government and military advisors, made up of the most artificial-acting actors you will ever see, are clueless to stop it. So fresh off of saving L.A., Washington D.C., and New York City, John McClaine is called up to service. You really feel bad for Brucey boy, who tries to get through his lines and action sequences without laughing at how stupid of a plot is passing him by.

To make matters for Earth a bit worse, a traitor is in their midst. Zorg (Gary Oldman) is assisting the Big Evil Ball, and for some reason sweats chocolate sauce. But fortunately Earth has a savior, the mystical “fifth element” who happens to be the Maybelline girl, Milla Jovovich herself. Touted as all that and a bag of chips, Leeloo’s (Jovovich) main power is having flaming red hair and a talent for being beaten up a lot. At least we can stomach her hideous looks for the sheer depth of acting talent that lies within this ex-model.

Essentially, the cheese factor here is high. Kraft. Velveta. Easy-Cheeze. Aside from the whole fake-Frenchy thing and Leeloo doing next-to-nothing other than wearing next-to-nothing, we have the indignity of Chris Tucker being a complete spaz of a radio personality. I don’t need his motor-mouth in my life, but at least Bruce Willis strangles him at one point.

Speaking of which, Bruce is the only factor that makes this movie watchable. He’s genuinely funny, even with the lame lines given to him. He’s hysterical arguing with his cab computer, and has a couple touching moments being the big protector of Ms. Supreme Being. Of course, no Willis action flick would be complete without a gun in his hand and him using it, which happens much too late in the film for my tastes.

It’s cheese, but somehow goes down all the same. Fake roots or no, redheads wearing Band-Aid clothing are watchable. Flying cars bring back Jetson memories, which is watchable. Big blue aliens singing opera… okay, weird, but eventually she shuts up. That’s watchable. Wondering what American cinema has come to: priceless.

Intermission!

• In the future New York City, Central Park is the same size as the real one and is in the same place… but 100 feet in the air.
• Volumes of two manga series — Sanctuary, by Ryoichi Ikegami and Sho Fumimura, and Adolf, by Osamu Tezuka — are briefly visible in Korben Dallas’ apartment.
• Korben Dallas is a lot like Harry Canyon, the scene from Heavy Metal that they “borrowed” the character from.
• When Cornelius arrives at Korben’s apartment, he refers to him as “Mr. Willis.” Korben corrects him [incidentally, Louise thought he called him “Mr Wallace”, though “Willis” makes more sense.]
• The exact date the movie takes place is March 18th, 2263
• The Princess Leia cinnabon haircut on the general… oh dear.
• Korben Dallas has the coolest room… EVER!
• When the President tells Priest Vito Cornelius he has “twenty seconds” to state his point, Vito talks for exactly twenty seconds.
• The cigarettes have a superlong filter and a very short burnable part.
• When Leeloo punches through the glass in her cage, you can clearly see the prepunched hole a second before she hits it.
• Ruby’s (clearly foam) blonde hair is modeled after Egon Spengler’s from The Real Ghostbusters. In addition to the Egon hair, the nametags of the scientists are the box with red letters a la the Grey GB uniforms.
• The Diva Pauvalagona’s voice cannot be done by a human. Opera singer Maïwenn Le Besco had to have her voice altered digitally to achive the alien-like music.
• The explosion in the Phloston main hall was the largest indoor explosion ever filmed. The resulting fire almost got beyond control.
• Luc Besson had this idea when he was a teenager.
• The language spoken by Leeloo was invented by director Luc Besson and further refined by Milla Jovovich. By the end of filming they were able to have full conversations in this language.
• Charlie Creed-Miles, who plays the young priest David, played James Duke of York (later James II) in the BBC series Charles II: The Power & the Passion. He was also in King Arthur as one of the Celtic peasants subservient to that Roman git who ties up Keira Knightley – he’s the one who asks to come with Arthur and then starts organizing the evacuation. Ah, jobbing actors, it is you, not the so-called stars, who make TV and film worth watching.
• Another area where this movie shines is the soundtrack by maverick composer Eric Sierra. It’s a variety of music… from ambient clayspo/techno to middle eastern mystery to the “techno opera” sung by the Diva.
• The hero and the villain never meet nor are they aware of each other’s existence. I love this, it provides endless mind candy.
• Bruce Willis almost died when the studio was lit on fire after the opera. If you look closely, you can see the smoke rising in the background. Obviously, a dangerous situation.
• Milla Jovovich gained a working knowledge of whatever language it was that they had developed. I think this shows her true enthusiasm and motivation to play the part. It does come through.
• Eric Serra does the majority of Besson’s films and if you give them a listen, you can see why. The man was born to make movie soundtracks.