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Justin’s rating: Won’t you tackle my funnybone?

Justin’s review: Adam Sandler movies, in my opinion, should not be viewed more than once a year. I like him, he’s funny, but that still doesn’t repress the urge to punch him in his mouth to shut his yap every now and then. I think Billy Madison should award viewers with a class ac, but fortunately Sandler movies have come a long way since then.

Or have they? It seems like all Sandler movies have staples that his fans have come to expect. Sandler is the loser who overcomes the obviously evil jerk to win and net himself as attractive an actress as the budget allows. Here, he plays Bobby Boucher, a mentally challenged 31-year-old who lives with his mother and is the waterboy for a small Louisiana university football team. Sick of all the hate that critics have been throwing at him since Billy Madison, Boucher discovers that his pent-up anger can be harnessed through devastating tackles. Thus, once again the loser becomes the hero.

The Waterboy is about 90% slapstick comedy, but it’s the kind we need. As a guy, I immensely enjoy the sight of two men slamming each other into turf with Dolby Surround Sound echoing the crackling bones in my ear. It may not be the most intellectual movie you’ve ever seen (turn to Spice World for that), but it’s a load of fun.

Fairuza Balk plays Vicki, Bobby’s inexplicable girlfriend who has a long rap sheet. The other assorted characters are at times wearing, endearing, stupid, and hilarious. Kathy Bates was done much wrong by appearing in this movie as an overbearing mother, but Henry Winkler — the Fonz! — shows great promise as a comic.

I did so relish the “visualizations” that made Bobby’s tackles so successful. This movie jukes around the tired “underdog team wins impossible victory” tale by embracing its wackiness and running with it. The end game is one of those spectacular stand up and cheer events, and even the third time through watching it, I was on the edge of my seat. The Waterboy may just be an extended counseling session, but the tackles make all the difference.

Kyle’s rating: My spine is crushed, but it hurts so good

Kyle’s review: Let me start off by stating this: I love Adam Sandler movies. I am a college student, I have a brain, I think therefore I am, and despite/because of this I enjoy all of his films (well, except Bulletproof. But that was just bollocks). Yes, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and The Wedding Singer are all great movies to me.

And now The Waterboy will join the stack of movies next to my television that are always rewound and ready, since I can always pop ’em in and enjoy them.

The Waterboy is yet more critically-panned Sandler insanity, this time featuring college football-related ultra-violence set against a tenuous bad-girl-falls-for-mildly-retarded-nice-guy-with-barrels-of-pent-up-agression romance. In other words, not much plot to speak of.

But you won’t care, because you be laughing, or at least smiling and drooling, while Sandler’s 31-year-old nice slow guy gets the girl and a free college education courtesy of his bone-shattering tackling ability. The good coach finds redemption in victory while the bad coach is humiliated and can only watch while his team is turned into limp, broken things on the gridiron.

DO NOT watch The Waterboy for complex metaphors and themes. DO NOT watch The Waterboy thinking you’ll find a mentally challenging best picture contender. In fact, it’s best to NOT THINK while watching The Waterboy. All it is is good-natured fun, a good versus evil escapist comedy where you can sit back and enjoy the proceedings because you know everything will work out in the end, but getting there is the fun part.