“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

Kat’s rating: Relentless stalker movie meets the horrors of sexual intercourse.

Kat’s review: It Follows is a delightful indie horror movie that cleverly plays with the clichés of the genre. It also delves into the dangers of intimacy, albeit with a twist. Essentially, a ghostly sexually transmitted entity slowly hunts down anyone who becomes involved with its previous victim. Directed by David Robert Mitchell, this 2014 gem offers a fresh take on an old formula, complete with a slow-burn pace akin to syphilis, atmospheric shots, and a retro synth soundtrack.

The film revolves around Jay (Maika Monroe), a young woman whose post-coital bliss quickly spirals into a full-blown nightmare as she becomes the target of the relentless entity. This eerie creature haunts its victims with chilling persistence, assuming various forms and seamlessly blending into unsuspecting crowds. It’s reminiscent of the immortal snail meme, where you gain millions of dollars but have an immortal snail perpetually on your tail. In Jay’s case, however, all she gets for being perpetually hunted is, I assume, lackluster car sex.

Talk about a lousy deal.

To escape the shape-shifting monster, Jay embarks on a twisted game of sexual tag. It Follows takes the tired trope of people doing anything for sex and cranks it up to eleven. These two individuals voluntarily hop into bed with Jay, fully aware that they are signing up for a lifetime of haunting. The old adage of “two minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of pain” truly comes into play here. It’s as if the movie is trying to remind us that sex has consequences or something.

Perhaps It Follows is set in a backwater region with a lackluster sex education program, but hey, let’s give props to Jay for having a solid crew of friends who actually believe her when she claims to be stalked by an unseen creature instead of instantly diagnosing her with a mental disorder.

Talk about rare faith in a friend.

While It Follows is undoubtedly a unique and anxiety-inducing horror film, the ending left me somewhat frustrated. I crave closure and an understanding of the origins of this cursed ghost disease. Perhaps this is the film’s way of reflecting the sad reality of sexually transmitted infections—sometimes you just have to live with them. Sorry if I got a little too serious there.

All jokes aside, It Follows is a well-executed and enjoyable film. It blends laughs, lessons, and beautiful displays of friendship. Moreover, the jump scares and menacing naked figures are truly noteworthy. Prepare yourself for a wild ride that solidifies its status as a bona fide modern horror classic. You won’t want to miss it, my friends!

Intermission!

• Who else wants that dope shell-shaped kindle one of the friends has?
• Hugh says the monster is “not dumb” — but what’s more dumb than showing up on a college campus as an elderly woman in a hospital gown? Try a little harder to blend in please, thank you.
• Questions: Does one need to reach completion for the ghost to haunt them? Or can it be like a short little encounter? What about same-sex relations? Do those count?
• I have so many questions.
• The music is all done by Disasaterpeace.