“Stop that garment bag!”

Justin’s rating: Act on, act off!

Justin’s review: I swear, I always kind of forget that Jay Leno did a short spurt of movie acting between his stand-up days and his long reign as a late night host. Most of his parts involved showing up as himself, but in 1989, he actually got his own shot at the big leagues as Detective Tony Costas in Collision Course. I think he straight-up cursed the movie, too, because it ran out of money while filming it and then sat on the shelves for a couple years before being released straight-to-video in 1992.

Maybe that was a bummer for Leno, but he did well enough for himself not to cause us to shed any tears. It is more of a shame for Pat Morita, who deserved some more headlining movies past the Karate Kid franchise. Don’t overlook how genuinely funny he was in those movies; Morita’s timing and sly quips are evidence of a rather talented comedian. As least both can still entertain us with today’s movie.

Collision Course is your quintessential wacky cop buddy movie that the 1980s loved so very much. In this case, it’s the work marriage between smart-talking Detroiter Costas and quick-thinking Tokyo policeman Fujitsuka (Morita), who team up to figure out the theft of some breakthrough automotive technology and related murders. Right now, you already have enough information to recite to me about 70% of the plot, which — as you know — involves initial mistrust, some on-the-job bonding, cultural misunderstandings, and a police chief who demands their gun and their badge. Actually, this movie has TWO such chiefs, each less reasonable and supportive than the other.

OK, so the cop buddy formula was well-worn by 1989, but there’s a sort of comfortable enjoyability in watching this sort of thing even so as long as the performers are likable. And, surprise surprise, Leno and Morita are both pretty amusing (if not laugh-out-loud hilarious). Leno’s got the rapid-fire dialogue thing down pat, and Morita is just a ball of lovable weirdness. Call me crazy (“hi, crazy!”) but the two are actually a good pair.

As a former Detroit resident, it was also fun to play the game of “Hey, I know that landmark!” as the car chase scenes careened past them. I do think that Costas tried too hard to sell Detroit as this unruly cess-pit with a lot of cars… but it kind of is, so I’ll give that a pass. It’s also slightly shocking to hear a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment, including racial slurs, although it is a fascinating insight into a time when Detroit was quite unhappy with Japan’s automotive invasion.

You know how I said that you’d guess about 70% of the plot? That means that there’s at least 30% here in Collision Course that might delight you and shock a laugh or two from your cynical face. Easily the best part is when Morita charges a car, does a running jump kick through the windshield, and decapitates a bad guy. It’s easily way better than anything Mr. Miyagi ever did.

With some humor, an energetic soundtrack, and two appealing leads, Collision Course is a fun return to a simpler, much more bizarre time when mismatched cop partnerships roamed the land.

Didja notice?

• It’s an ’80s movie if the soundtrack is screeching saxaphone at you
• Aaha it’s the cruddy Detroit peoplemover!
• Is that Miyagi’s best friend from Karate Kid II? Oh my goodness, it totally is!
• That’s a whole lot of cookies
• A rocket gun? For real?
• I love that Fujitsuka tries to escape in a garment bag
• This is a pretty peppy soundtrack
• This movie is just a smidge racist
• A photo booth, that really dates this movie
• Does Morita do the drinking “BONZAI!” thing in every movie he’s in?
• So he specifically does not know karate? That’s a switch.
• And then the bad guy just rocket launched his own house. As it usually goes.
• Fujitsuka dancing is worth the cost of admission
• This movie really, really loves its car phones
• You ever notice how bullets never go through a human shield to hit the guy behind him?
• Fujitsuka charging the car and then jump-decapitating the bad guy is the best moment in movie history
• Apparently if you get shot in the leg, you can easily hobble for a while and then you’ll be fine