“ALVIIIIIIIN!!!”

Drew’s rating: Five out of six anthropomorphic forest critters

Drew’s review: Some of our younger readers may not have experienced this phenomenon (yet), but I’m betting most of you in your ’20s or older can relate — have you ever been randomly flipping through channels and suddenly come across a TV show or movie that you loved as a kid, but haven’t thought about in probably a decade or more? And then you get caught up in it and decide to watch “just for a little while,” and all the old memories just come flooding back?

So it was for me a few years back during a college training trip, when I stumbled across The Chipmunk Adventure while idly channel surfing, some dozen years after the movie and book & tape set inevitably found their way into one of our family’s yard sales. Nostalgia washing over me, I became oddly captivated by the bizarre musical number taking place, one I remembered being my favorite as a kid. I proceeded to watch the movie for as long as I could before practice, then promptly set about acquiring it when I got back on campus. Cut to six years later, and I’ve gotta say — while rose-colored glasses will only carry you so far and yeah, it’s not the greatest film ever made, I’m still surprisingly fond of the occasional viewing every couple of years. The kids have some chops.

What do I like about it? For one thing, the plot — I just love the sheer “screw you, logic, I do what I want!” inanity of it all. Like most ’80s cartoons, Chipmunk Adventure throws sense out the window early on and never looks back, all for the best in a movie like this.

In brief: the Chipmunks’ adopted father Dave is off on a world tour for “business reasons” (suuuure, Dave… be honest, you just needed a break from those incessantly squeaking voices. Who can blame you?), and Alvin’s upset about not being allowed to tag along. Drowning his sorrows at the local soda fountain with his bros and their h- um, female counterparts the Chipettes, Alvin’s whining is overheard by chain-smoking, diamond-smuggling siblings Klaus and Claudia… because, after all, where ELSE do wealthy smugglers hang around discussing illegal, clandestine activities but the neighborhood malt shoppe?

With the mysterious “Jamal” breathing down their necks (pssst — he’s a cop!), Claudia conceives a fiendish plan — trick the ‘munks and ‘pettes into racing hot-air balloons around the world, allegedly to settle an idle wager but secretly to courier dolls filled with diamonds and cash. Alvin and Chipettes leader Brittany, recognizing a totally innocent, not-at-all-suspicious deal when they see one, naturally take the bait and drag their reluctant, wiser siblings along for the ride, and just like that, the race is on!

I think one of the things that ultimately makes Chipmunks Adventure work for me is that it really does convey the impression of the Chipmunks and Chipettes visiting a bunch of different places, each with its own distinct feel. Having never ventured outside the continental U.S., I can’t vouch for the accuracy of the depictions, but having the characters globe-hopping to so many different places keeps the action moving, with just enough time spent in each locale to give you a taste for it but not so long that you start to get bored. It’s a really smart move, actually, helping to justify making an actual movie out of something that might otherwise have just been three episodes of the cartoon strung together.

And the fact that everywhere they go, people are ready to immediately start dancing whenever they spontaneously break out into song is a nice touch. Their personalities, mind you, are mighty two-dimensional — Theodore’s fat but loyal, Simon’s smart and sarcastic, Alvin is whiny and egomaniacal; for the Chipettes, see “Exact same thing… but girls!” — but younger viewers won’t mind, and neither will nostalgic older kids like myself who grew up on the ‘munks and already know what they have to offer.

In the end, does it qualify as great cinema? Of course not, it’s a freakin’ Chipmunks movie, not Citizen Kane. But it’s lighthearted, it’s exciting, and youngsters will find it funny and enjoyable… if any still exist who remember the Chipmunks, anyway. Like I said earlier, the nonsensical elements at their best increase the entertainment factor, and at their worst at least don’t take away from it. (For instance, I wondered why, after thinking Dave wanted the boys to come to Europe, Miss Miller didn’t insist on taking them to the airport… then I remembered she’s insane, and Dave just hates his kids enough to leave them with a senile old fruitcake. Then I felt better.)

The animation is smooth, the plot is ludicrous but fun, and while the musical numbers are pretty cheesy and dated, they somehow manage to be really cool too… maybe that’s just the nostalgia talking, though. Either way, chalk this one up as an entertaining, harmless little flick to put on when you want to keep the kids occupied, or if you’re a Gen Nexter who still can’t get that damn Chipmunks theme song out of your head. (Doot, doot… doot doot doot doot!) Just call up the Witch Doctor and say you want to give it a rent; he’ll tell you what to do. Ting tang walla walla bing bang indeed.

Didja Notice?

• Simon is one sarcastic li’l dude… for a nerd, he gets all the best lines. And I’m now disturbed to find myself relating to a fictional cartoon rodent.
• Who knew so many ancient, valuable Greek sculptures were just sitting outside with strobe lights and fog machines ready, waiting for rockin’ youngsters to use in impromptu dance-offs? Keen!
• Speaking of that scene, you can totally cut the sexual tension with a knife
• Chipmunks life lesson #6: Dating your exact duplicate of the opposite gender = HOT!
• Color-coordinated turtleneck sweaters? Timeless. Hot pink miniskirt, yellow bandana, and leg warmers? Sooooo 80’s.
• In a pinch, snakes’ tails can be used as microphones. And their heads make excellent grappling hooks!
• Yes, that’s right, Alvin: be sure to offer those South American Indians some “wampum.” Ignorant ass.
• Chipmunks life lesson #18: if your brother is overweight, don’t let him eat. Ever.
• It really warms the heart when a guy who forced 3 singing woodland creatures to become juvenile rock stars is then able to rescue them from diamond smugglers… I mean, you’d hate to see them exploited or anything.