Nancy: We only get so many AMAs, guys. There are only so many times in our lives that we will gather around our computer screens and squeal with joy at the winners and losers of our mutant picks regarding whatever random and erroneous subject matter we construed from our random witty banter. There, myth debunked. We are not sterilized robots functioning to bring out the best AMA category/nominations possible. WE DO WHAT WE THINK IS FUNNY AND WE LAUGH ABOUT IT AMONGST OURSELVES!

Anyway, I started this rant out because I wanted to tell you guys to enjoy every moment that you are reading this review, and enjoy it to the fullest. You have nothing better to do; so take these moments scrolling down a black page with green font with joy. Listen to us talk intellectual about which rocks harder, the Batmobile or the DeLorean.

Movie President We’d Vote For

Drew: Forget the king… when it comes to the folks in this category, it’s all about hailing to the Chief, baby. And what a race it was, with voters steadfastly declining to give any of our presidential hopefuls a clear mandate. Instead, results so close you’d think we were in Florida saw six of the eight candidates falling within a 9% margin, and our top three all within 4 percentage points of each other. Now that’s what I call due process!

But when all was said and done, it fell to Bill Pullman in Independence Day to once again prove the Kennedy Principle: you don’t have to be tall, good-looking, and athletic to become president… but it sure doesn’t hurt. Proving that being Commander-in-Chief means more than just barking orders from your desk, President Whitmore strapped into a fighter jet and helped successfully defend his country in our first interplanetary war, which is more than the rest of these whiners can say. And since the only thing his opponents did better then him were suck and die, it’s no surprise to find Whitmore sailing into office for another four-year term. Somebody get this man an intern, stat!

Most Intriguing Unanswered Secret

Kyle: Occasionally, as a result of allowing casual Mutant readers to vote on these award choices, there are missteps. Wrong choices can be made anytime, and in certain situations, due to the reflex reactions on the part of a manic-minded majority, a winner is chosen completely by virtue of the involvement of a fan-favorite element in said choice.

This is apparently one of those certain situations, as a surprisingly 29.6% of you selected “How a preacher knows so much about crime,” a massive secret in Serenity, as your preferred Most Intriguing Unanswered Secret.

I don’t care that I did not select this particular winner, nor do I care that my suggested choice didn’t pull in a significant portion of the vote. I do care that a pretty lame choice won here almost certainly because the answer to this secret is only in the head of Firefly creator Joss Whedon’s head, and I think way too many people are constantly wondering about what is going on in Joss Whedon’s head. Creepy!

Most Distracting Disfigurement or Accessory

Justin: The ’80s will really live on forever through its movies, I believe. Heck, it’s 2006 and The Goonies are still getting much-needed love from fans young and unyoung alike! Never was there a decade where comedies made us laugh so hard, fantasies tickled our imaginations and kid power reigned supreme. Was it any surprise that our pal Sloth rose to the top of the misshapen, lumpy cream?

I think this was a terrific category this year, complimenting the “Silly Costuming Choice” award you’ll see in a couple pages. Each and every nomination reflected an accessory that drove the audience to distraction. Sloth was… well, an accessory unto himself, I suppose.

Best Geek Performance

Lissa: Geeks. We love them. But even more, we love them when they’re not just the butt of the jokes of the movie, but steal the movie entirely — or at least are some of the shining performances.

First place goes to Alan Tudyk as Steve the Pirate in Dodgeball. Because what is more geeky — and more fun — than truly believing you’re a pirate, dressing, and talking like one? So, with 26.9% of the vote, the Best Geek Performance goes to Alan Tudyk as Steve the Pirate. Arrr!

Silliest Costuming Choice

Poolman: We’re here to honour (spell it with a U, my south-of-the-border comrades) the film with the Worst Costuming Choice. In an age where you can have an entire city fold into itself or turn a homely British man into a homelier Gollum courtesy of CGI, it can sometimes escape our notice when a movie really works hard to clothe its actors in beautiful or striking costumes. We take it for granted that that’s what a character should look like.

What doesn’t surprise me in the least is that you, our dear readers, are horribly offended by Bat Nipples. Batman & Robin, long one of our most beloved “hated it” movies featured the debut of visible bumps of rubber on the heroes’ chests. It’s good to know the Dark Knight has his moobs appropriately decorated. Let’s all just heave a sigh and a silent thanks that they didn’t pay that much anatomical attention down below the ol’ utility belt, or the criminals of Gotham would have had all KINDS of reasons to fear the Bat. Eeeuugh.

Most Creative Weapon

Nancy:  It really was no question, though: the ballistic farm animals from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Monty Python is just one of those cornerstones to our whole site — when it’s there, we just gravitate to it. It’s just a good thing. Sure, the hip new Anchorman has its charms, and there’s definitely that obscure-beloved-zombie-cult appeal of Dead Alive… but even while entertaining these options you know that Monty Python always wins.

And that’s a good thing.

Dumbest Death Scene

Shalen: It’s no accident that many of our favorite films are nominees here. There’s a good reason for it. If you really like a movie, you tend to devote a few more emotional resources to the characters and what happens to them. So when something doesn’t go the way you’re hoping, it can be devastating, shocking, or just really, really annoying.

Padme’s death from super-sad childbirth in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith walked away (figuratively speaking) with 39.5% of the vote. Apparently quite a few of you thought the whole “losing my will to live” concept was just as stupid as I did.

Best Movie Vehicle

Sue: Movie Vehicles. Which are hot, which are not, and just what office of the Dept. of Transportation do you go to when you need a license for one of these cinematic creampuffs?

Let’s see what YOU, the audience, had to say.

With a victorious 26.9%, is the time traveling, tricked out DeLorean of Back to the Future fame. Bending the space-time continuum and confounding traffic cops the world over, the DeLorean had the moxie to pull off its Mutie victory not only in every time zone, but also in every decade from the dawn of recorded history! A complimentary oil change and a complete 27-point inspection to our winner!

Cult Lifetime Achievement: Bill Murray

Justin: When we came upon the annual internal debate at Mutant HQ over this year’s Cult Lifetime Achievement, there were many excellent nominees on the table. We made our cases for each one, strove to protect our babies, and fought the good fight that lasted well into the night.

Then Nancy, little Nancy, had to come along and put an end to it all with two words: “Bill Murray.”

That was it. End of discussion. Sure, we weren’t all rabid Murray fans, but is there anyone more deserving to be given an award to someone who embodied cult with a span of works that range back to the late 1970’s? Is there an actor alive who is more quotable in more movies than Murray? Don’t think so.

I’m not utterly thrilled that Murray has entered his transition to more dramatic roles — we see this happen in many comedy actors’ lives, and it’s always disheartening to see them drift from their roots. But if anyone’s entitled to a little variety in his old age, it’s Murray.

Dashing onto the scene with his role in SNL, Meatballs and Stripes, Murray quickly became known as the average-looking Joe with the razor-sharp tongue. Balding even in his early years and possessing no great handsomeness to speak of, Murray showed us that personality and wit trumped mere looks. It wasn’t until Ghostbusters that he became a genuine star, cult and otherwise, and the ball’s been rolling ever since. Look at that list up there! That’s just a part of his roles.

Ghostbusters is, of course, my favorite Murray work, all the more so for it being a collaborative effort with other talented comedians. But I’d have to point to Murray’s 90’s works — Groundhog Day, What About Bob? and The Man Who Knew Too Little — as the high point of his appeal, striking out in all directions and mastering both sarcasm and childlike innocence with ease.