“That brewery makes 10,000 bottles of beer a day. I drink 45 of them, and I’m the bad guy!”

Lissa’s Rating: The Be(er)st of the Be(er)st.

Lissa’s Review: When most people saw the preview for Beerfest, they probably thought, “Wow, that looks dumb” or maybe “Hey, that could be funny, man.” I mean, five Americans take on the world in a secret beer drinking competition? It could be dumb or funny (or both). I saw the trailer and thought, “Man, I have to review that.” So I am.

I didn’t expect great things out of Beerfest. My highest hopes focused on the movie being so dumb it was funny. My worst fears were vile jokes that went along with Justin’s description of Freddy Got Fingered (I’m taking Justin’s advice and not watching that one, so I can’t say what the movie truly was like, but hey.) Beerfest allayed my fears and greatly exceeded my highest hopes for it.

Now, I’m not remotely saying that Beerfest should win comedy of the year. It’s not brilliant, it’s not always logical, and it’s not remotely highbrow or Oscar winning or anything like that, and nor should it be. But it’s also not so dumb it’s funny, or so bad it’s funny. It’s actually… funny. It’s still dumb, but it’s funny at the same time.

Want to watch Beerfest? I highly suggest getting into the right state of mind first. Drinking excessive amounts would probably work, but it’s not required. Just imagine this: a movie with the plot of Best of the Best, Fight Club, and maybe The Deer Hunter mushed together, and set in a beer drinking competition. Got that? Now, imagine that the people involved know exactly what sort of movie they’re making. And instead of trying to hide from it or be embarrassed, instead of not having faith in the ludicriousness of their own premise and falling back solely on toilet jokes and gross humor, those involved completely embrace their premise. They believe in it. They revel in it. They don’t just go over the top — they grab the plot by the throat and pole vault over the Empire State Building.

That’s Beerfest.

It may have been in and out of theaters so fast if you blinked you missed it. It may have a bunch of actors that you’ve never in your life heard of in it, unless you’re a Broken Lizard fan. It may have only gotten 40% on the Tomatometer (higher than I expected). But make no mistake, Beerfest earns its five in cult on this site, and I suspect many of this site’s readers would get a kick out of it. Parodies galore, bizarre humor, and the strong suspicion that the writers, cast, director (largely all the same people), and everyone but the camera man were drunk as they were working on this makes it prime Mutant material.

Is it perfect? Oh, heavens no, don’t make me laugh that hard! Not even close. Some of the jokes are stupid or squicky. There’s totally gratuitous female nudity in the style of 80s comedies that is actually kind of offensive. There are plot holes so big you could drive a Mack truck through them with room to spare. One of the guys will consistently remind you of Ray Romano. It could have been tightened up some. And if you are a militant PC person who feels all cultures should be treated with respect and enlightenment, bug off and go watch Lost In Translation or something.

But darn it, it’s still funny in a very weird way.

If you can’t tell, I enjoyed watching Beerfest. I suspect I might have scored it too high in Rewatchability though, and that a second viewing would result in many of the jokes growing old and thin. But if you just want a fun, dumb movie that is completely unashamed of itself, especially if you’re watching it with friends and drinking beer and eating pizza, give Beerfest a shot. I’ll bet you won’t be disappointed.

Drew’s Rating: I’ll now attempt to stay sober through this entire review. God… is my copilot.

Drew’s Review: This isn’t something I list on my resume (doesn’t fit), but in college I was a member in good standing of the 50% Club. This illustrious group is comprised solely of those who can make more than half their shots in the drinking game of Speed Quarters. To be honest, it’s kind of a mixed blessing — you usually win, but you also almost never have to drink. The end of any given night would find me and one other friend dead sober, squaring off against each other with a table full of drunken idiots getting in the way. And I already have Thanksgiving for that.

But my point is, excellence in drinking games isn’t something that can be taught; I didn’t even play until my senior year of college (shut up, it’s true), but from the first bounce of that 25-cent piece into the shot glass, I was a natural. And that’s the focus of Beerfest: men who are drinkers both by practice and birthright. Brothers Todd and Jan travel to Germany to scatter their grandfather’s ashes in his homeland, but instead stumble upon a top-secret Olympics/Fight Club drinking competition. But far from the paradise they expected, the two are mocked for being American, learn their grandfather was a thief who stole Germany’s greatest beer recipe, and are soundly defeated and thrown out. Humiliated, the brothers vow to assemble a world-class drinking team, return to the games, and kick some you-know-what to regain the honor of their family name and the good ol’ US of A. It’s Miller time!

Quite frankly, Lissa already described the movie so well that there’s not much for me to add; I just couldn’t stomach the thought of a beer-drinking movie coming out that I didn’t review. But it’s exactly as she described: a fairly funny movie that’s much more so if you’re enjoying it with warm pizza, cold beer, and good friends. It doesn’t take itself at all seriously, with one character blatantly talking to the camera and a rather hilarious example of “replace a dead character with his long-lost twin brother… who insists he be called by the original character’s name for the rest of the movie.” That sort of stuff’s always dicey, but in Beerfest it works, because… well, c’mon, it’s Beerfest. I also really dug the homages they threw in to classic drinking movies like Strange Brew and Animal House. Way to honor your heritage, guys.

When all’s said and done, this is not one of those films that surprises you with unsuspected depth or pathos. It’s EXACTLY what it looks like, a movie by guys, for guys, featuring stuff guys like: beer, frontal nudity, beer, scatalogical humor, frog onanism, and beer. The jokes are inconsistent, with scenes of outright hilarity interspersed with only mildly funny stretches, but there are more hits than misses and it’s got the funniest one-night stand I’ve ever seen in movies, which has to count for something. I doubt it’ll be anyone’s favorite film of all time, but if you’re looking for a way to unwind with your pals after a long week of work or school, you could do a lot worse than a few cold ones and Beerfest. You get the shot glasses, I’ll bring the quarters.