Welcome to another edition of Movie Poster Dissection, where we slice open the anatomy of a film poster to see what makes it tick. Today we’re going to look at one of the holiday season’s seminal movies, A Christmas Story.

1. This is a traditional 80’s “zany” poster. Hand painted, lots of funny looking characters, some funny looking action, and just a little sex, even if that’s not what the movie’s about. I don’t remember the mom ever wearing a skirt that short in the movie, and the leg lamp’s looking even more risque than I recall.

2. A problem with these painted posters is that sometimes the characters don’t look much like the actors. In particular, Ralphie’s “please don’t touch me there again” face doesn’t resemble Peter Billingsley at all. Plus, as we all know, the rabbit suit was PINK, people.

3. “We’ve replaced the Bumpass Hounds with a ferret with false ears. Let’s see if they notice.” Plus, um, where is that dog running out of?

4. They have a mouse, stirring. That’s actually pretty clever. Nothing to do with the movie, but it’s a cute Christmas gag.

5. The one character they DO get to look like the actor who played him is Santa. But they’ve got him upside down in the chimney, which doesn’t happen in the movie. Honestly, a little realism, please! Santa’s drunk at the mall!

6. Based on the novel “In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash”. It’s true. The story of A Christmas Story is actually a very small part of this novel, too. Similarly, “A Muppet Christmas Carol” is based on a snippet from Sue’s NaNoWriMo 2006 entry.

7. Another confusing dog! This one had me straining to remember whether the family had a dog, but no, I think it’s supposed to be another Bumpass Hound. You can tell by its complete lack of resemblance to ANYTHING like a hound. At least the other one’s brown.

8. I don’t know why, but the fact that the best copy of this I could find on the internet STILL has scanned-in fold marks makes me laugh.

9. You’d think Richard Nixon would have had a happier expression while looking up the lamp’s skirt. Just don’t ask where his other hand is.

10. Only three stockings… looks like they sold poor Randy to the neighbours to pay for the ruined turkey.

11. Canadians need not apply.