I think anyone you talk to would agree that Nicktoons used to be far, far more awesome. As a little girl I loved me some Spiderman, Batman, Gargoyles and Darkwing Duck, but my heart belonged to Nickelodeon.

The first three Nicktoons aired in 1991, and for the next six years every cartoon that the station created was mildly great to outright awesome. 1998 to 2001 was hit or miss with the greatness, and maybe it’s because by then I was a senior in high school, but I just wasn’t all that interested in Nick anymore.  I can’t remember the last time I watched that channel, but a recent discovery of the classic Nicktoons on Netflix Instant Play has me reveling in some serious nostalgia.

I bring you my six favorite Nicktoons:

6. Rugrats

You know, originally I thought that putting these shows in a least-to-most-favorite list would be easy. Then I started to choose my least favorite of the six and realized it’s not easy to call any of these shows a least favorite of mine. In the end something has to be in sixth place and I’m gonna go with Rugrats because it was the least likely to get on my mom’s nerves, which is all an eight-year-old me really wanted to do. Rugrats was so popular that it lasted 14 years, as well as spawning at least three movies that I can think of, numerous TV specials and a mildly popular series chronicling the kids’ elementary school years called All Growed Up. Oh yeah and it has a star on the Walk of Fame. Significantly lower in dark and dirty humor than I loved about most of the Nicktoons, this still managed to be one of everyone’s absolute favorites.

Groovy Quote:

Angelica: I am wonderful aren’t I? And lets face it I am definitely talented… JAZZ HANDS!

5. Doug

I really related to Doug and his largely believable predicaments. His relationship with his sister, his love for writing, and his growing pains were all so realistically portrayed that at times I could get lost in the idea that it was me on the screen instead of him. Aside from the realism, Doug had a great cast of characters and quite possibly the best fictional cartoon band ever. “I need more allowance! Yodelaaayeeee!”  The crazy rainbow of skin colors was a unique touch and for reasons still unclear to me today, one that got on my mom’s nerves. Talking animals and inanimate objects are fine, but apparently green and blue skin is where my mom draws the line. Moms.

Groovy Quote:

Doug: [voice-over] She never said anything about the pimple. Matter of fact, no one did. I guess it just goes to show you: sometimes things don’t turn out as bad as you think they will. But sometimes they turn out a lot worse. But, then again, sometimes they turn out sorta OK, but kinda bad. Well, anyways, the point is, it’s not what’s on your nose that counts… it’s what’s inside. N-no, wait. I didn’t mean that.

4. Hey Arnold!Aside from his parents suffering from an acute case of Disney-itis, Arnold lived the kind of life I always wanted to live. He had the best bedroom on the planet, lived in a big city with tons of kids to hang out with, and got into some seriously unrealistic and great adventures. The latter was mostly because he lived in his grandparents’ boarding house and they were generally so involved with some wacky happenstance or other that they didn’t worry too much about discipline. Hey Arnold!  starred actual children voicing the characters, and they were GOOD. And, much like The Simpsons,  the secondary characters on this show were well-rounded and interesting, to the point that I could watch a segment completely focused on them and be just as entertained. The only thing that ever frustrated me was never knowing Arnold’s last name, which became kind of a running gag in the show as someone would almost reveal it and then get interrupted. It entertained me at the time, but I finally looked it up on Wikipedia today and found that, though never confirmed, Arnold’s last name was probably-

…..what? What is that? Does anybody else see that? It’s creeping me out. Okay well anyway I finally found out his name wasACK! What the heck? I told Justin we need to build up our defenses or we’re gonna get all kinds of crap memes in here.

What was I even talking about?

Groovy Quote:

Principle Wartz (to Phoebe, who is Japanese-American): We’re proud of our multicultural students here at PS 118. Where do you come from, Phoebe?
Phoebe: Kentucky, sir.
Wartz: Well, Phoebe, let’s make KEN-tuck-AY proud on Thursday!

3. Angry Beavers

This, the newer of all the Nicktoons on the list, took a bit for me to really get into. The first episode ran a bit slow and expositiony for me, but afterward I was riding the brotherly love/hate/love/hate wave of these two beaver bros stuck living together. Dagg and Norbert Beaver are probably my favorite cartoon siblings, just for the pure torture that they put each other through. They did it with such unabashed mischief and hilarity, but also love. I also have to give some mad props to these two voice actors for making this show truly brilliant. Richard Steven Horvitz (later the voice of Invader Zim)  lent Dagget’s stammering, neurotic, vengeful character such crazy energy and fun that he kept Dagget from falling into unlikable territory. Nick Bakay was just truly unique and outstanding as Norbert. Supposedly the “cooler” one of the two,  Bakay’s weird and exaggerated mispronunciation and outbursts of syllable emphasis gave Norb this goofiness that kept him from being two polarized from his brother’s awkwardness.

Groovy Quote:

Norbert: Where in the name of deus ex machina did that T-Rex come from?

2. AAAHHH! Real Monsters! Monsters and two of my favorite voice actors, who were voicing monsters. It was like little nerdy heaven for me.  I was so in love with this show (and am still wholeheartedly determined to create an Oblina costume). Not only was it an interesting idea (what it was like to be a young monster going to academy to learn how to scare) but that animation style was like nothing I had ever seen. Nearly every character suffering from a glaring case of a face full of mouth.  Even at that age I was impressed by the relationships and depth of the characters. Years later I found out that Tim Curry was Zimbo, and it blew my mind. That man has a seriously strange and versatile style of voice acting. I’ll save more of that and a Charles Adler geek fest for another day, though. For now suffice it to say that this was and is one of the very best cartoons I have ever, and probably will ever, see.  Though I never could figure out why The Gromble would choose to wear those painful (if not fabulous) shoes every day.

Groovy Quote:

[Krumm eats an old wind-up toy.]

Toy: The cow goes “moo”. The duck goes “quack”. The politician goes “I don’t recall”.

1. Rocko’s Modern Life

I wrote a RML article a while back, so to those of you who read it this should come as no surprise. Even if you didn’t read it, you should just KNOW that the best Nicktoon of all time is most definitely Rocko’s Modern Life. There could be no other. Rocko, Heiffer, Phil, Ed and Bev Bighead, Really Really Big Man and his Nipples of the Future…..this show was just completely weird, acerbic, biting, sarcastic, gross, funny, crazy…I don’t know what else to say. Words escape.me..they’re probably hiding in that article, actually, so you should go look there. Most cartoons have some adult humor. Adults create the shows, so it’s just a given that you’re going to get little tidbits of tee hee for the adults while kids sit laughing at something that totally just flew over their heads. But this….this show. It’s like the whole thing, from the episode titles to the blink-you’ll-miss visual jokes to the lines you have to listen to a second time to get just how dirty they are, this show completely pulled it off.  I never at any point understood half of what was going on. Now that I’m an adult I’m still catching things and wondering how on earth these people managed to get that onto children’s television. I mean, when my husband has to explain to me, at 26 years old, what was to him a very obvious joke about male physical exams in the most recent episode we watched, then you know you’ve got something for the whole family.  I mean that in the least twisted way possible, really.

Groovy Quote:

[Rocko’s having his eyes examined]

Doctor (after cupping Rocko’s eyeballs in his hand): Cough, please.

Honorable Mentions:

• I gotta respect Ren and Stimpy as one of the original three Nicktoons, although I never really got into. Oh sure, I watched it, because it would come on late at night on MTV when no other cartoons were on. Also I wasn’t supposed to be watching it so that was always a plus in my rebellious childhood mind. Such a rebel.
• It’s big with the Hot Topic crowd these days, but when Invader Zim came out I quite genuinely hated it. As of last week I decided to give it another try and it’s going well so far. I’ll keep you updated.
• Fairly Oddparents was another one I REALLY hated at first, but it grew on me. It earns points of awesome in my MST3K-loving mind for featuring, as one of its main characters, THE Club Scum M.C. from Hobgoblins. Daran Norris voices Cosmo, JorgenVon Strangle, and Mr. Turner among others. Yeah. That’s the same look I had on my face, too.