“Even now in Heaven there are angels bearing savage weapons.”

Justin’s rating: A whole bunch of stuff they never teach at seminary

Justin’s review: Back in the ’90s I spent many years working at video rental stores (RIP), which provided me with a torrent of movie content. My favorite discoveries were — and still are — mid-tier movies that punched above their weight class when it came to ambition and creativity. Over time, I built up a library of these favorite finds, one of which was Christopher Walken’s excellent turn in The Prophecy.

I mean, I don’t have to sell you on this movie past a single sentence: Hey, you want to see a movie where Christopher Walken plays a rather antagonistic archangel Gabriel in the midst of a war between heaven and hell? Yes. Yes you would.

I’ve always thought it a little odd that we haven’t seen more angels vs. demons supernatural movies. It’s such a rich field for storytelling that could easily branch into horror, action, and thrills. I guess we had a few like Constantine, Dogma, and The Devil’s Advocate that flirted with the field, but this movie really seized upon the angels — both upstanding and fallen varieties — as key figures to be explored.

As one character says, “Did you ever wonder what a creature like that would be like? Your whole existence spent praising God but with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?” This movie gives you good reason to answer, “…no.”

The first great war in heaven, in which a third of God’s angels rebelled and were cast down, is alluded to in this film with brief but bloody flashbacks. The conflict’s since simmered down, but a prophecy concerning a weaponized soul may reignite the cold war between these two sides into a hot one once again.

Right from the get-go there’s a whole lot of unexplained weirdness and abrupt action and Eric Stoltz being mysterious as “Simon,” a supernaturally strong character who’s on a desperate mission to keep said soul away from nefarious figures.

Plunged into this unseen conflict is Detective Thomas Dagget (Elias Koteas, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), who was going to be a priest before horrific visions of the aforementioned war flashed through his head. He and a school teacher are now called up into heaven’s service to protect a little girl named Mary who becomes an unlikely vessel for this soul McGuffin.

Another interesting twist is that not all of the un-fallen angels are big fans of humanity. Walken’s Gabriel strongly resents mankind being elevated in God’s sight above angels, making him a reluctant force for good. Or is he any more? He’s so sinister and unhinged, going Full Walken in all of his quirky mannerisms, the ability to knock out people with a “shhh,” and a zombie assistant (seriously). He also gets some of the absolute best lines here, such as, “Ahh, I can always smell a graveyard.”

But when the devil (Viggo Mortensen) shows up, it’s anyone’s guess what Gabe is going to do. Mortensen and Walken both make this movie a must-see, with two very angry creatures on different sides of a theological fence.

As a man of faith myself, it’s weirdly refreshing to hear characters discuss spiritual matters in frank ways that are presupposed on all of this being very, very real. And it’s not the normal Hollywood watered-down pap, either. Sure, it’s more Catholic and biblical retconning than anything, but I like how this film shows how terrifying and awesome spirit beings can be, especially when interacting with our world.

The Prophecy sports an above-average amount of production values to go with its stellar cast. It looks fantastic and can be incredibly creepy when it unveils the supernatural that’s all around us all the time. It’s been so long — too long — since I last watched this genre mish-mash, and I was gratified at how much I enjoyed cops vs. angels vs. angels. It may also be my all-time favorite Christopher Walken performance (and I suspect it may be his). Oh man does his character put a grin on my face in every scene that he shows up.

This indie flick was so well-made and unique that it spawned a four-sequel franchise over the next decade, including two more with Walken. I haven’t scouted those out yet, but after being re-impressed with this outing, I might have to do just that.

Rich’s rating: Who would have guessed that angels could be so… scary?

Rich’s review: This is another film I have to chalk up reviewing credit to my housemate for, not in the least for him actually owning the video version of the film which I watched over the weekend in order to review it. I’d had this film recommended to me by no end of at least partially sane people, and had promised myself I would watch it when I had some spare time. Last Sunday I had some spare time, and the result was a confirmation of my love for Christopher Walker, an even deeper respect for Viggo Mortensen than I already had, an hour and a half’s quality entertainment, and this review.

Now normally, if you’ve ready my reviews before, this is where I go rambling off on a tangent about something only obliquely related to the film. Strangely, in the case of this one, I really can’t think of anything which isn’t covered in the plot, so I’m just going to dive straight in to the meat of what The Prophecy is all about.

I’m sure you all know some of the story anyway; How Lucifer, the most beloved angel, rebelled against God, caused a war in the Heavens, and was cast down. Got that? OK. However, these Angels are no harp playing cherubs. Instead, the Angels seen in the Prophecy are the fire and brimstone, judgement by the sword Angel of old, messengers and deliverers of God’s punishments. And what’s worse, from our point of view, is that they’re not very happy with us humans.

Because when God sent his Son down to earth to die for our sins, some Angels felt that they were being pushed aside. That humanity was being elevated above them in God’s sight. And those that thought that way got upset, and as everyone knows, when people get upset, that’s how people get hurt. And so, a second war in the heavens ensues, developing into a constant stalemate while we scuttle around obliviously on Earth.

Flash forward to now, and about to be ordained priest Thomas Daggett is unfortunately ‘blessed’ with a vision of the war between the Angels featuring them doing pretty nasty stuff to each other with flaming swords, and this kills his faith deader than Chesney Hawkes pop career (remember him? Didn’t he suck?).

Having given up on being a priest, Thomas goes for the obvious career progression and becomes a homicide detective instead. Things start getting nutty in Thomas’ life when the angel Simon (a nicely innocent Eric Stoltz) turns up in his house unannounced one day to drop some subtle hints about strange goings on, then promptly disappears, only for Thomas to be called in on a homicide the following day where the victim is distinctly… odd.

Because, as it turns out, the ultimate weapon to break the stalemated war between the angels is a soul here on Earth — and while Simon is trying to find and hide it from those who want to use it as a weapon, enter Gabriel (the incredibly creepy Christopher Walken), ringleader of those Angels Who Don’t Like Us Monkey People Very Much, who would quite like to get his hand on this soul so he can kick the behinds of all those goody two-shoes angels and then break out the fire and brimstone for all us poor little people down on Earth.

As the film progresses, both Thomas, and Catherine the local school teacher in a sleepy midwest community (played by Virginia Madsen) wind up opposing Gabriel’s hunt for the dark soul, and therein lies the majority of the film’s action. I’ve deliberately been as vague as I can on the details front so as not to spoilerize the entire film; but trust me when I say that Christopher Walken’s performance alone makes this film immensely watchable; and it’s by no means the only good thing about it.

Something that I would be awry to neglect when talking about this film is the brilliant performance of Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer, who of course can’t help but poke his nose into things. Seeing Aragorn as the Father of Lies and Prince of Darkness was quite a change, let me tell you; but Viggo is brilliantly both endearing and creepy as the Fallen Angel, as well as having some of the best lines in a film chock full of great quotes.

This film isn’t going to start any sparkling philosophical debates; nor does it push back the boundaries of cinema. What it does do is deliver an interesting, suspenseful plot, filled with engaging and compelling characters doing interesting things and saying cool lines while doing it.

Christopher Walken is great at being Christopher Walken i.e. intimidating and scary and cool all at the same time; Eric Stoltz does a very nice turn as the nice, kind, friendly Simon, and Viggo Mortensen steals all the best lines (as well as the best tunes) as the devil himself.

So, if you find yourself with the time and the opportunity, take it. You’ll thank me, I promise.

Intermission!

• I loved Gabriel teaching the schoolkids how to blow his trumpet, and the subsequent results.
• No-one can make a wink more intimidating than Christopher Walken can.
• One of the few times a character in a film has thanked someone sincerely for killing them….
• The worlds most cramped fight inside the trailer.
• Gabriel’s method of extracting information… mmmm, crispy.
• Lucifer’s little song cracks me up every time.
• The “Shhh” thing. I’d love to be able to do that.
• Spawned a series of sequels, all featuring the wonderful Mr. Walken; though a 4th instalment of the series is slated for 2004 release without him.
• Hey the mention of the 70 elders that Moses delegated his authority to — that’s biblically spot-on
• Although he attributes this quote to Paul in the Bible, it’s not a verse — “Even now in heaven there are angels carrying savage weapons.”
• That’s one very bloody crime scene
• He never had any eyes… and he’s a big baby
• There’s no 23rd chapter of Revelation
• Gabriel licking furniture, why not
• “Watch the profanity.”
• “Are you saying we have a dead angel on ice?”
• Angels like to perch like birds
• Who doesn’t have a secret collection of human faces these days?
• Gabriel’s trumpet is not to be blown loudly
• “Study your math! Key to the universe.”
• The shredded parts of the cop car
• Gabe resurrecting the dead woman and her immediately crying
• “God? God is love. I don’t love you.”
• The devil’s minions
• “For while heaven may be closed, I am always open. Even on Christmas.”
• “I doubt we’ll meet again.” “Suits me.”
• “Leave a light on, Thomas.”