Here are six creepy, pathetic, demented and perverted movie clowns that you really shouldn’t trust in the least:
“We all float down here” is the cheery calling card of Pennywise the Clown, aka “It”. Able to take the form of your worst nightmare — including a heavily made-up Tim Curry — Pennywise has the powers to pop out of nowhere, drag little kids down into the sewer, and use balloon animals to their true lethal potential. Somehow undermined by defeat at the hands of prepubescent kids.
If you’re going to rob a bank, why not do it with style? Or, if not style, than copious amounts of facial paint and floppy shoes? That’s the brainchild of Grimm, the “crying on the inside”-type of clown, who get away with thousands of dollars and not a shred of his dignity. We think that Bill Murray is funny in and of himself, but if he had to go with a costume, we’re glad this was it (and not the standby, a French maid outfit with fishnet stockings and high heels).
There’s something intrinsically scary about clowns, even while they’re cartwheeling around all giddy at a circus. When the clown is a psychotic killer whose visage is melted by acid, then you’ve achieved pure terror. Yet the Joker isn’t without his sense of humor, killing people with high-voltage hand buzzers and smile gas, repainting a museum to his tastes, and being the only guy who successfully messed up Batman. Note: if he offers a whiff of his flower, pass.
Bobo had an unsuccessful career that spanned the length of a single day… but boy, what a day that was! First, he got hit with a FRYING PAN! Wow, that’s hilarious! Then he got fed “Yappy’s Dog Treats” like the flea-bitten scum he knew himself to be! Ha! Ha! Oh, Bobo, the world will never be the same now that you’ve passed away from liver failure and a serious concussion.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
It might be the goofiest interplanetary invasion ever, but don’t be daunted by the sheer numbers of alien klowns stomping down your neighborhood block. Offer them some peanuts, praise their wardrobe, and break out your anti-klown kit: Michael Jackson’s life-sized blow up doll. Oh, watch them flee!
Some clowns have weight management issues, and Clown is no exception. Battling high blood pressure, brimstone headaches, and an unhealthy appetite for kittens, this is one Clown who’s headed for a triple-bypass surgery… from HELL! Because, of course, that’s where he comes from. It says so right there, on his driver’s license. The driver’s license… from HELL! He’s also an unwelcome neighbor to the staff at Mutant Reviewers, who only tout our hellacious connections to retain sponsorship dollars.
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